Regina Quotes in The Pianist (2002)

Regina: Quiet please. Quiet. Order, order! Please!

Halina: She's a lawyer, she likes order.

Regina: Listen, just listen. The watch we put under the flower pots and the money we stuff in the violin.

Father: Will I still be able to play?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Well... you'll find out.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Where are we going?

Mother: Phhhhh, out of Warsaw.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: [confused] Out of Warsaw? Where?

Regina: You haven't heard?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: [exasperated] Heard what?

Regina: Haven't you seen the paper?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: No!

Regina: Ah, where's the paper?

Halina: I used it for packing.

Regina: [incredulous] Ah, she used it for packing.

Henryk Szpilman: [discussing the star of David] I won't wear it.

Regina: *I* won't wear it. I'm not going to be branded.

Jogona as an adult: Are Mzungas like you still allowed to climb trees?

Regina: Yes. But only when they don't dirty their school uniform.

[trying to avoid plans with Regina]

Karen: I can't go out.

[faux coughs softly]

Karen: I'm sick.

Regina: Boo, you whore!

Gretchen: That is so fetch!

Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Regina: Why don't I know you?

Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.

Regina: What?

Cady: I used to be home-schooled.

Regina: Wait... what?

Cady: My mom taught me at home...

Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!

Cady: I didn't say anything.

Regina: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?

Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.

Regina: Vintage, so adorable.

Lea Edwards: Thanks.

Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.

Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.

Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?

Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!

[Regina leaves, Gretchen follows]

Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!

Regina: No one understands me...

Gretchen: I understand you!

[Regina & Gretchen's voices fade out]

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.

Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!

Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.

Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?

Cady: No no no... Anything else?

Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.

Cady: What do you mean?

Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.

Cady: Really? That's amazing.

Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.

Cady: Hey!

Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?

Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.

Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.

Regina: Is butter a carb?

Cady: [Rudely] YES.

Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.

Regina: So...?

Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.

Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.

Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!

Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!

Gretchen: You can't sit with us!

Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.

Regina: [after being ignored] Fine! You can walk home, bitches.

Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?

Regina: I'm starving.

Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.

Regina: What?

Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.

Regina: Motherf -

[she spits out the bite of the bar that she was chewing, and then she lets out a high-pitched scream]

Regina: Aaaaaaaah!

Karen: God. My hips are huge!

Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.

Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.

Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.

Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.

Regina: My pores are huge.

Karen: My nail beds suck.

[pause. All look at Cady]

Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.

Karen: Ew!

Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch.

Regina: Still true.

Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.

Regina: Still half-true.

Karen: Amber D'Alessio . She made out with a hot dog.

Gretchen: Janis Ian-DYKE.

Karen: [pointing to Damien in background of picture] Hey, who is that?

Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damien.

Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function.

[Karen & Gretchen chuckle]

Regina: That's funny, put that in there.

Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?

Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?

Regina: I love her. She's like a Martian!

Cady: [after humiliating Regina] Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!

Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!

Cady: Wait Regina, just listen!

Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...

[Regina gets hit by a bus]

Regina: [referring to Cady's bracelet made in Africa] I love it!

Gretchen: So Fetch!

Regina: What is fetch?

Gretchen: Oh, it's like slang, from... England.

Regina: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?

Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.

Joan the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...

[class applauds]

Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Weiners.

[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]

Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.

[class applauds]

Regina: [confused] What is happening to the world?

Janis: Damien!

[Janis shoves Damien]

Damian: I couldn't help myself!

Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!

[class applauds]

Cady: Damien? You put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan!

Damian: I didn't put you in there...

Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?

[repeated line]

Regina: I know, right?

Cady: [voiceover] The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.

Regina: [to Cady] Okay... you have really good eyebrows.

Cady: Thanks.

Regina: [pushing Gretchen] Move.

Gretchen: Ooh.

Cady: [voiceover] Same with Gretchen: the meaner Regina was to her, the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. She knew it was better to be in the plastics, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being with the plastics was like being famous... people looked at you all the time and everybody just knew stuff about you.

Girl: That knew girl moved here from Africa.

Girl: I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.

Boy: That Cady girl is hot... she might even be hotter than Regina George.

Mr. Duvall: I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. The 2 were seen canoodling at Chris Isen's halloween party... they've been inseparable ever since.

Karen: [after being dumped by Aaron, Regina is crying and holding hands with Gretchen and Karen in her bedroom] Did he say why?

Regina: [sniffling] Somebody told him about Shane Oman.

Karen: Who?

Regina: He said some guy on the baseball team.

Karen: Baseball team?

Regina: I gave him EVERYTHING. I was half a virgin when I met him!

Karen: You want to do something fun?

[looks enlightened]

Karen: You want to go to Taco Bell?

Regina: I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!

[stomps off]

Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!

Jason: Is your muffin buttered?

Cady: What?

Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Cady: My what?

Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?

Jason: I'm just being friendly.

Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!

Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?

Cady: No, thank you.

Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.

Jason: [whispers] Bitch...

Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.

Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".

Regina: What are "frenemies"?

Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them "frenemies".

Karen: Or "enemends".

Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them "fraitors".

Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.

Karen: [gasps] What if we called them "mean-em-aitors"?

Regina: [scoffs]

Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word "friend" in it.

Karen: Oh...

Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.

Regina: I know, right?

Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.

Cady: [after seeing Regina in mirror] Regina, wow, you look really beautiful.

Regina: I'm wearing a spinal halo.

Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.

Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.

Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.

Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.

Cady: [Cady smiles]

Regina: You know Aaron really does like you. He's always talking about how unusual you are and it really pissed me off. Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it...

Cady: You begged your mom to let you keep it?

Regina: No. I threw it down the stairs.

[they giggle]

Regina: I didn't want anyone else to have it. But that's just me.

Mrs. George: Regina! There about to announce the queen.

[sees Cady]

Mrs. George: Hello.

Regina: Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?

Regina: [they giggle]

Regina: Bye.

[waves]

Cady: I think I'm joining the Mathletes.

Regina, Gretchen, Karen: No! No, no!

Regina: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. *Damn*! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.

[after learning Cady is home-schooled]

Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.

Cady: Thank you.

Regina: So you agree?

Cady: What?

Regina: You think you're really pretty?

Cady: Oh... I don't know

Cady: [voiceover] Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute...

Regina: What is this?

Cady: [voiceover] Actual vomit.

Mrs. George: I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?

Regina: [smiling] Please stop talking!

Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?

Regina: Please stop talking.

Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?

Regina: No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.

Mr. Duvall: [Reading] "Kaitlyn Caussin is a... "

Regina: Fat whore!

Regina: Do you know what people say about you? They say you are homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of me. So don't try to act all innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it straight up your hairy little...

[gets hit by a schoolbus]

Regina: I gave him everything... I was half a virgin when I met him!

Regina: [Cady and the Plastics are getting into their start positions for Jingle Bell Rock] Uh, Gretchen? Switch sides with Cady.

Gretchen: But I'm always on your left!

Regina: Well, that was when we were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle.

Gretchen: But the whole dance will be backwards! I'm always on your left!

Regina: And right now, you're getting on my last nerve! Switch!

[Gretchen reluctantly swaps sides with Cady in the positions]

Regina: [On the phone] I know your secret.

Cady: [to herself] Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.

[to Regina]

Cady: Secret? What are you saying about?

Regina: Gretchen told me you like Aaron Samuels. I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want, but lemme just tell you something about Aaron, all he cares about is school and his mom and his friends.

Cady: Is that bad?

Regina: But if you like him, whatever. I mean I could talk to him for you if you want.

Cady: Really? You would do that? I mean nothing embarassing though, right?

Regina: Oh no, trust me, I know exactly how to play it. But wait, aren't you *so* mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing for her to do.

Cady: Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad, I mean I guess she just likes the attention.

Regina: See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you!

Gretchen: [Suddenly appears in the same phone conversation] I can't believe you think I like attention!

Regina: [to both Cady and Gretchen] Ok, love you, see you tomorrow!

Floyd: [knock at the door] That's her, that's the dog

Regina: Dogs don't knock, Floyd.

Regina: People in California generally swallow before they start talking.

Floyd: [Has banana in his mouth] Hey. I know how to eat in California, okay?

Regina: If you want your dog back, call my lawyer.

Regina: [to Floyd] Do you have to stand like that? Didn't my trainer teach you how to stand? How can we have a relationship if you can't even stand right?

Regina: Isn't this entertaining? Hicks and their dogs.

[Regina and Floyd fall into a pool of mud from Beethoven]

George Newton: Hold on!

Regina: Ugh, shut up! And don't do us any favors! Take your stinkin' puppies and stuff it!

Floyd: Yeah, stuff it!

Regina: Shut up!

Alice Newton: We're going to help you and it will be alright!

Regina: [to Floyd] You idiot!

Floyd: What, me? This whole dog business was YOUR idea!

Regina: My idea?

[the dam comes apart spilling mud and Regina and Floyd into the raging river]

Regina: [to Floyd] I HATE YOU!

Floyd: You stupid! You got me into this! It's all your fault!

Regina: No, it's not!

Floyd: I didn't even care about those dogs!

Regina: Let go of me!

Alice Newton: [to George] Well... ya hungry?

[Regina snatches the puppies from Ted and Emily]

Regina: '$11 for chocolate bars', huh?

Frank: I swear I don't know where they are.

Regina: Frank, do you want us to torture you, or what?

Frank: You already are torturing me.

Vicky: Don't hurt him, darling.

Evelyn Roy: Frank, you have to tell us where they are. We have a major crisis on our hands.

Lena: I'll let you borrow my boxing gloves, Frank.

Frank: Oh Jeez.

Regina: We made it through another day.

Lena: Thank the goddess.

Randy: I think proms are stupid.

Vicky: God, I would've given anything to go to the prom if I had a girlfriend in high school.

Lena: I went to the prom with a girl.

Vicky: Going with your sister doesn't count, Lena.

Lena: She's a good dancer.

Regina: Don't tell me you wouldn't want to go to the prom with your girlfriend, Randy.

Randy: First off, I don't have a girlfriend. Second off, I think proms are stupid. And third off, if I went to the prom, I would go with Frank.

Lena: Frank's a good dancer.

Regina: Make me cum. Make me cum. Make me cum.

Alfredo Berlinghieri: Come on, you can't cum. An elephant couldn't make you cum.

Regina: ALL I NEED IS A REAL MAN!

Regina: Do you know how to play the wedding game?

Regina: [Captured by the peasants who she had previously helped oppress] Can you show no pity?

Regina: I hate to be the bitch but are we gonna play or what?

Tom: Aw Regina, you love to be the bitch.

Regina: I can't get caught in the boys dorm again.

Tom: Like the last time when we hooked up?

Regina: You mean when you jerked off to my yearbook photo?

Randall: Can I borrow your car?

Tom: Yea man, you know, just leave the keys on the tire and don't get any blood on the back seat.

Randall: I wouldn't dream of it. I want this to be special, you know, like in the middle of the woods up against a tree.

Regina: You're a pig.

Randall: You're a dyke.

Regina: Die a violent death.

Regina: I hate to be the bitch here but are we going to play, or what?

Tom: Aw, Regina, you love to be the bitch!

Dodger: Alright, alright, everybody put your money in.

Regina: And they only just found that girls body today because it was dragged through the woods by a wolf.

Tom: Yeah listen, the guy blew her head off. Then just let the wild life go to town.

Mercedes: Why's it have to be a guy?

Tom: Serial killers are always guy.

Regina: Just the one's that get caught baby.

Mercedes: Serial means more than one jackass.

Tom: You're not taking your SAT book to my lake house this weekend are you?

Vassago: I've seen you.

Regina: No, I don't think so.

Vassago: Oh yes, I have seen you. It was like a flash forward in time. You're beautiful. Perfect.

Vassago: My name's Vassago.

Regina: That's different.

Vassago: Different.

Regina: I'm Regina.

Vassago: I know.

Regina: You know?

Vassago: I know

Vassago: Yes, Regina.

Vassago: Well Regina you don't look like you belong here.

Regina: Yeah?

Vassago: Yeah.

Regina: Well, uh, maybe you're right.

Vassago: No, not maybe, I am right.

Vassago: I'm so right, that I know where you do belong.

Vassago: Let me take you somewhere.

Vassago: Make you feel, make us both feel, something...

Linda, Regina's Friend: We're waiting for some people.

Vassago: Why don't you let Regina make her own decisions?

Linda, Regina's Friend: Why don't you piss off.

Linda, Regina's Friend: Yeah...

Linda, Regina's Friend: Bye.

Vassago: I'll see you again.

Regina: You know what's the deal you said he was cute?

Linda, Regina's Friend: He's a creep. God, Regina get some sense.

Linda, Regina's Friend: Let's get out of here, let's go.

Regina: Since when are you afraid of the dark?

Paul: Everything is different here.

Regina: It's really good. What is it?

Evelyn: Filet, dear. Filet.

Regina: [singing] There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, tomorrow. Just you wait and see. There'll be love and laughter, forever after, my darling just for you and me.

Regina: A hard-working man like you should be served by a lady like me.

Sheriff Burnett: Yeah, I guess.

[drinks]

Sheriff Burnett: Pretty good coffee... but it'd taste a lot nicer if you'd come on over, and pour it for me... regularly.

Tigrero, a.k.a. Loco: That's a big request, sheriff. She waits on the whole west territory of the U.S. and Mexico.

[giggles as Regina leaves in anger]

Sheriff Burnett: I'll teach you to talk to a lady like that!

[punches the bars of Loco's cell, hurting his hand]

Tigrero, a.k.a. Loco: Oh, I'm sorry. I hope you didn't hurt yourself.

Sheriff Burnett: Set a wagon outside of town and put as much food on it as you can spare. If they eat, they'll behave. And you women, all of you, stay inside. Understand? Now let's get moving. C'mon.

Pollicut: Fill a wagon. So now, these bandits gotta be fought with bread and butter. When are we gonna see some law and common sense in this town?

Regina: When somebody hangs you.

Regina: [aims Pollicut's revolver at Loco] If you come here, Loco, you'll find out I can shoot a pistol too!

Tigrero, a.k.a. Loco: Oh, come on. Drop that, Regina, you're wasting your breath on us.

Regina: If I kill you... I'll be glad, ya hear?

[shoots Loco's hat off his head]

Tigrero, a.k.a. Loco: You saw that woman shoot first!

[shoots Regina]