Reggie Quotes in Bad Boys II (2003)

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Reggie Quotes:

  • Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] You a virgin?

    Reggie: Yes, sir.

    Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.

    Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?

    Reggie: No.

    Mike Lowery: You want to?

  • Mike Lowery: [pretending to be drunk] Nigga, who is it at the door?

    Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] It's Reggie!

    Mike Lowery: Who the fuck is Reggie?

    Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out.

    Mike Lowery: [to Reggie] What you want, nigga?

    Reggie: I'm here... to take his daughter out.

    Mike Lowery: Motherfucker, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You wanna be takin' Megan out?

    Reggie: Yes, sire?

    Mike Lowery: How old is you?

    Reggie: Fifteen.

    Mike Lowery: Shit, nigga. You at least thirty.

  • Marcus Burnett: [slams the front doors open] Who the FUCK are you?

    Reggie: I'm Reggie, Mr. Burnett

    Marcus Burnett: How old are you?

    Reggie: I'm fifteen, Mr. Burnett

    Marcus Burnett: Motherfucker, you look thirty.

  • Reggie: Jack... Tell me a story.

    Jack: Fuck you!

    Reggie: Oh, that's one of my favorites.

  • Reggie: I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.

  • Reggie: You said bullshit and experience is all it takes, right?

    Jack: Right.

    Reggie: Come on in and experience some of my bullshit.

  • Reggie: Never seen so many backwards ass country fucks in my life.

  • [Shaking down a redneck, Reggie pulls a wad of money from his pocket]

    Reggie: Man, you loaded here. What the fuck's this?

    Redneck: Tax refund!

    Reggie: Bullshit! You're too fuckin' stupid to have a job!

  • [In Chinatown, Jack and Reggie start arguing]

    Jack: This sucks! A maniac gets ahold of my gun and runs all over the streets killin' people with it. So, instead of bein' where I oughta be, home in bed with my gal givin' her the high hard one, I'm out here doin' THIS shit: roamin' around the streets with an overdressed, charcoal-colored loser like you.

    Reggie: Look, man, if you don't like it, why don't you just leave? I can take care of Ganz by myself, all right?

    Jack: Heh, don't make me laugh. You can't take care of shit. You been dickin' me around since we started this turd hunt! The only thing you're good for is GAMES. So far, what I got outta you is nothin'!

    Reggie: Yeah, well, I'm real impressed with you too, man. It takes a real-skilled cop to kick in the bedroom door of a couple of dykes!

    Jack: Luther knows more and he told me and so do you. I wanna know what the fuck this is all about! I gave you 48 hours to come up with somethin' and the clock's runnin'!

    Reggie: Yeah, well, maybe I don't like the way you asked me, all right?

    Jack: Who GIVES a goddamn what YOU like? You're just a crook on a weekend pass! You're not even a goddamn NAME anymore! You're just a spearchucker with a number stencilled on the back of his prison fatigues! And I'm through fuckin' around. You tell me the truth or you're gonna get the living shit beat outta you.

    Reggie: Oh, you're gonna kick MY ass now? I think you lost your mind, Cates. Just put your gun back in your holster and get in the car and let's go. I'm serious. I'm not in the mood and I'm just gonna end up fuckin' you up out here and it's gonna be an embarrassment to you and the police force.

    Jack: Let me explain one thing to you, nigger: I fight DIRTY!

    [punches Reggie; the two start fist-fighting]

  • Redneck: What kind of cop are you?

    Reggie: You know what I am? I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin' ass whenever I feel like it!

  • Jack: Class isn't something you buy. Look at you, you've got on a 500-dollar suit and you're still a low-life.

    Reggie: Yeah, but I look good.

  • [Jack and Reggie enter the country and western bar]

    Reggie: Not a very popular place with the brothers.

    Jack: My kinda place. I always liked country boys. They're sure as hell don't like you.

  • Jack: You switch from an armed robber to a pimp, you're all set.

    Reggie: a-HA, HA... hooo!

  • Jack: Hammond! You tell me what this is all about or you and me are going at it again. I wanna know what this is about between you and Ganz.

    Reggie: Look I've been waiting for a lot of money for a long time, man.

    Jack: How much money?

    Reggie: Half a million dollars. Starting to get the picture now? You're on the wrong side of the law and order track here, Jack.

    Jack: Just tell me about the god damn money.

    Reggie: Me and Ganz hit a dealer during a sale. It's the kind of money nobody reports stolen.

    Jack: So he's after your money.

    Reggie: You know you're a real smart cop, Jack. So how much you want, huh? Half?

    Jack: Not likely, convict.

    Reggie: Oh, I can't have none of it now, huh?

    Jack: I believe in the merit system so far you ain't earned any points, boy.

    Reggie: [Southern drawl] Oh well I'll be real good from now on, Massa Cates!

    Jack: Just tell me where the god damn money is.

    Reggie: In the trunk of my car.

    Jack: Right, convict.

    Reggie: Forget this man, we ain't brothers, we ain't partners, and we aint' friends and if Ganz get's away with my money you're gonna be sorry you ever met me!

    Jack: I'm already sorry.

  • Reggie: You gonna write my life story?

    Jack: Not likely, Reggie. Tell me who this is.

    [shows Reggie a photo of a guy with a bullet in his head]

    Reggie: That's Henry Wong, old friend of mine. He's looked BETTER. Look, man. I been in this goddamn cell for two and a half years and I'm getting out in six months. I ain't doing nothing to fuck myself up. But if you came here to find out something from me: You've come to the wrong person, 'Cause I don't FUCK my old friends over, man!

    Jack: That's too bad, Reggie. I thought maybe you were a smart boy. But I guess if you were real smart: you wouldn't be a convict. I guess a raider like you would be no match like Ganz.

    Reggie: Ganz?

    Jack: Right.

    Reggie: Ganz is gonna be here two years after I get out.

  • [Ganz is holding Reggie hostage, using him as a human shield]

    Ganz: Hey, cop! Come here! I got something for you!

    [Jack comes out]

    Jack: You're not gonna make it.

    Ganz: What are you talkin' about? I got your gun! I got the money! I got everything!

    Reggie: Take aim, man, and blow his fucking brains out!

    Ganz: Bullshit! He ain't gonna try it! Right, cop?

    [Jack shoots Ganz, throwing him off Reggie]

    Reggie: Are you crazy, man? I was just bluffing!

  • Jack: Is Luther part of the gang?

    Reggie: What gang you talkin' 'bout, Jack?

    Jack: Hey, I can read a police file, shit-head. Quit calling me Jack.

    Reggie: It's just an expression, all right? I don't mean nothin' by it.

    Jack: I don't give a damn. It happens to be my name.

    Reggie: What the hell you complainin' for? At least nobody callin' you shit-head.

    Jack: I may call YOU worse than THAT.

  • Reggie: Lack of pussy makes you brave, man!

  • [after Reggie has gotten laid]

    Jack: So, how was it?

    Reggie: I'm not goin' in for all that macho shit, Jack. I was great. Should have my dick bronzed.

  • Reggie: You start running a respectable business and I won't have to come in here and hassle you every night. You know what I mean?

    [to the bar patrons]

    Reggie: And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there's a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So y'all be cool. Right on.

  • Jack: All right, where's the goddamn car?

    Reggie: Be cool man, the car is parked.

    Jack: For three years?

    [shouts]

    Jack: Bullshit!

    Reggie: Bullshit? I'll let you in on a little secret, Jack... you just passed it!

  • Reggie: You know speaking of moaning, my stomach is starting to growl. We better go get something to eat.

    Jack: We eat when I say we eat!

    Reggie: Now that's bullshit, that's the last straw, all right? I want some food now. If you don't like it, you can take me to the penitentiary and kiss my hungry black ass goodbye all right? You took me out here, you've been treating me like shit when we first left and I want some food in a nice place, nice atmosphere with some good people and...

    Jack: [interrupts] Okay, hold it. I'm hungry, let's go get something to eat. I know a place. All right?

    Reggie: All right let's go.

    Jack: All right.

    Reggie: I want some mandolins and some violins.

    Jack: [buys a chocolate bar from a vending machine] There's ya' goddamn dinner!

  • Reggie: [after Haden has finished his tirade against Cates] Don't you think you're being a little too hard on the guy?

    Haden: You go fuck yourself, convict!

  • Reggie: How do?

    Cowboy Bartender: [irritably] Yeah?

    Reggie: I'd like something to drink, preferably some vodka.

    Cowboy Bartender: Maybe you'd best have a... Black Russian.

  • Reggie: You got a lady, Cates?

    Jack: Yeah.

    Reggie: You know, the generosity of women never ceases to amaze me.

  • Reggie: This ain't no god damn way to start a partnership.

    Jack: Now, get this! We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. And we ain't friends. I'm puttin' you down and keepin' you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you're gonna be sorry YOU ever MET me!

    [beat]

    Reggie: I'm already sorry.

  • Reggie: This your car, man?

    Jack: Yeah.

    Reggie: Looks like you bought this off one of the brothers.

  • Reggie: Fuckin' bastard.

    Jack: That I am.

  • Jack: I'm through fucking around. You tell me the truth or you'll get the living shit beat outta you.

    Reggie: You're gonna kick my ass now? You're crazy. Let's get in the car, all right? I'm serious. I'm not in the mood. I'll just end up fucking you up and it'll be an embarrassment to you and the police force.

    Jack: Let me explain one thing to you, Nigger. I FIGHT DIRTY!

  • Reggie: This is a police matter and I'm looking for an Indian named Billy Bear. I know everyone in here wants to cooperate with me...

    [a guy runs and Cates tackles him]

    Reggie: Hey that's not even necessary, alright man? I got the situation in hand.

    Jack: [fake southern drawl] Some of us citizens are behind you all the way, officer.

  • Reggie: [in fake southern accent] I want y'all to know somethin'... there's a new sheriff in town...

    [Reggie removes his cowboy hat and tosses it to the bartender, then speaks in his natural black dialect:]

    Reggie: ... and his name is Reggie Hammond! Y'all be cool! Right on!

    [leaves]

  • [last lines]

    Jack: I need a car. How about loaning me a couple thousand when you get out?

    Reggie: What kind of car do you want?

    Jack: A convertible. I'm a rag top man.

    Reggie: [pause] Deal.

    Jack: Good. But even if you do give me the money for a car don't mean shit. If I ever hear that you're crossing the line, I'll bust your ass.

    Reggie: Now Jack, the both of us know that I'm gonna be an honest man from now on. Right?

    Jack: Good.

    Reggie: But if I *did* decide to be a thief, what makes you think you can catch me?

    Jack: [pause] Can I have my lighter back, Reggie?

    Reggie: [laughs]

  • Jack: Have fun.

    Reggie: I'm gonna have *sex*, Jack.

  • Cowboy Bartender: I don't give a shit what you do!

    Reggie: Good!

  • [watching Doug buzzing the motorcycle rider]

    Reggie: Why don't you just land on the fool and get it over with?

    Doug Masters: What's the matter, don't you feel like flying today?

    Reggie: Oh flying yes, dying, no.

  • Chappy Sinclair: Now, what do you do when one of them is flying straight at you?

    Reggie: You eject and start doing the backstroke.

  • Jack: You got framed. That's what every convict says!

    Reggie: Well, what about you, man? They never found that bad guy's gun out at the racetrack!

    Jack: That's different.

    Reggie: How's it different?

    Jack: I'm a cop, you're a crook.

    Reggie: Oh, get the fuck outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?

    Jack: That's right.

    Reggie: So it's just Screw Reggie Hammond?

    Jack: That's right!

  • Reggie: When you've been in prison as long as I have, you remember every story about pussy you ever heard.

  • Jack: I knew you'd be waiting for me out here.

    Reggie: You think I'm happy about being here think again. I'm supposed to have money in my pocket and a new life and the last thing I wanted was to be hooked up to your dumb ass again and you? You're about two steps away from where I was yesterday so you're not running shit. I'm gonna lay it out straight Jack: I don't like you and I don't trust you.

    Jack: O.K. cut the bullshit ok? Give me something I can use.

    Reggie: The Iceman? The Iceman bought your house.

    Jack: Now God damn it! I said cut the bullshit!

    Reggie: I can't believe you haven't put this together yet. Me and Ganz robbed a drug dealer, *that* was the Iceman, he's still pissed off about the shit. I see your wheels turnin there. Yes, yes, the man who you've been lookin for bought your fucked up car and put a down payment on your house and you've been riding around in a car that he bought for you lookin for him which makes you the dumbest motherfucker in law enforcement. Get in the car, you've got a bad shoulder and I don't wanna get into a wreck. I, unlike you, have a lot to live for.

    Jack: I always wanted a cheuffer, Reg!

  • Reggie: How much of my money did you spend?

    Jack: Oh, about 25 grand. You said I could buy a new car.

    Reggie: So where is it?

    Jack: This *is* the new car!

    Reggie: This looks like the same piece-of-shit sky blue Cadillac you had before!

    Jack: Yeah, I bought the same make, model, year, color, everything the same. That's the way I like it. I get attached to things, Reggie!

  • [making fun of a thug's hair]

    Reggie: You'll never find, DUM DUM DUM, a hairline like mine!

  • Reggie: Yo' hairline goes way back. I bet if you was in the Army you have to salute like this, YES SIR!

    [salutes all the way to the back of his head]

  • Reggie: I got chased by a motherfuckin' Mexican and a big white bitch today. Looking like a project power ranger, chasing me all over this place.

    Gina: What are you talking about, Reggie?

    Reggie: There was some kind of diamond heist near the beach today, right? Bucum, chasing me. I'm running. I accidentally hid in the back of the damn crooks' van.

    Gina: A diamond heist, Reggie?

    Reggie: Then they tried to kill me.

    Gina: So, what happened after that? How did you escape?

    Reggie: How did I escape? You know how I escaped. I fought my way up out of there.

    [wildly hitting at the air]

    Reggie: I hit about five dudes, knocked about three bitches down. You know I don't play, Gina.

    Gina: Baby, you can't fight.

    Reggie: Who can't fight? I was knockin'. I hit this one dude. He ran up on me. I was like, "Mmm!"

    [wildly hitting at the air]

    Reggie: He hit me in the head twice. And I did... Look. And I grabbed. And then he hit me one more time. You can't tell me. See, I'm nervous and paranoid, man.

  • Bucum: Shoot out the back tire!

    Reggie: Who do you think I am, Mel Gibson?

  • Mr. Sheldon: Reggie, how many times do I have to tell you to open the potato chips after you pay for them?

    [imitating Mr. Sheldon]

    Reggie: Well, you're gonna' have to tell me that all the time, 'cause I like potato chips.

  • Reggie: You don't have a forehead... you have a five-head.

  • Mr. Sheldon: $7.50.

    Reggie: [mocking] Seven fitty. Yo, it's fifty, not "seven fitty."

  • Bucum: Reggie, I love you. But I gotta take you in!

    Reggie: Come on, man!

  • Ursula: Do you know what he'll do when he finds out we fucked up a $20 million deal?

    Reggie: [hidden in the back of a van, whispers] $20 million?

    Julian Ramose: No, I have no idea what he's going to do, darling. I'm not the one who's fucking him!

  • Reggie: Come on. Lets go kick some ass.

  • Mike: I want to stop him.

    Reggie: The Tall Man? That story about me blowing up my own house because it was infested with midgets. Mike, that wasn't real. Your doctor said that it was your own paranoid delusions caused by your brother's death.

  • Reggie: You knew... before it happened.

  • Reggie: [narrating] Mike tells me that it might take us years to find The Tall Man, and if we do, we'll probably die. Well, maybe. But not without a fight.

  • [Reggie revs up his chainsaw, about to take on one of the Tall Man's henchmen]

    Reggie: Come on, you mutha!

  • Reggie: Get out of here. It's all over.

    The Tall Man: It's never over.

  • Reggie: Dominate me, baby!

  • Reggie: Ever try vanilla?

  • Reggie: Cryogenics. All the mortuaries are into it now. These guys figure they'll wake up in a couple of hundred years with new bodies.

  • Reggie: [laughs] Now, look who's talkin.

  • Reggie: Sure fucked up my hallway.

  • Reggie: Thanks kid, I owe you one.

    Tim: Two. By my count you owe me two.

  • Reggie: I sure hope that ball got a better sense of direction than mine do.

  • Reggie: [to his mom] You can't even put food on the table!

  • Reggie: These two ain't like no frogs I ever seen. They smart!

    Tiana: And we talk, too!

    [Frog-hunters scream and paddle away]

  • Reggie: Ooh, just look at those two jumpers. I can taste them frog-legs already.

    Darnell: [Loudly] Bet they taste real good with the sauce piquant! Right, Pa?

    Reggie: Will you be quiet?

    [Hits Darnell with club]

    Darnell: Ow.

    [Two-Fingers mumbles something while making gestures]

    Reggie: My thoughts exactly, Two-Fingers. It's time to catch us some frogs.

  • [from trailer]

    Reggie: Well sub-divide me and Kentucky-Fry me!

  • Reggie: [Nolan has just cut a racetrack in his cornfield] If you build it, they will come.

  • Reggie: Acid rain! Acid rain!

  • Reggie: I see buckets of dead relatives! Extra crispy! Extra crispy!

  • Reggie: He's a killing machine disguised as an idiot!

  • Reggie: Do you know what "hypothetically" means?

    Jenny: No, but I can imagine a scenario where I might.

  • Elder Turkey: Everything is made of Corn! Green leafy Corn, Corn Corn... Fire Corn!

    Reggie: Yeah, that's a great theory and all but I think that's called the Sun.

  • Reggie: Happy as a bastard on Father's Day.

  • Erica Albright: You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.

    Mark Zuckerberg: That's why I wanted to talk to you.

    Erica Albright: On the Internet.

    Mark Zuckerberg: That's why I came over.

    Erica Albright: Comparing women to farm animals.

    Mark Zuckerberg: I didn't end up doing that.

    Erica Albright: It didn't stop you from writing it. As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared. The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink. And you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.

    Reggie: Erica, is there a problem?

    Erica Albright: [Turning to talk to Reggie] No, there's no problem.

    Erica Albright: [Turning back to face Mark] You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays. I was nice to you, don't torture me for it.

    Mark Zuckerberg: If we could just go somewhere for a minute.

    Erica Albright: I don't want to be rude to my friends.

    Mark Zuckerberg: Okay.

    Erica Albright: Okay.

    [pauses for a moment]

    Erica Albright: Good luck with your video-game.

  • [singing in The Van Driving to Dulais]

    StephStellaZoe: [to the Tune of "Solidarity Forever"] Every woman is a lesbian at heart/Every woman is a lesbian at heart/Every woman is a lesbian at heart...

    Reggie: You can't possibly say that every woman is a lesbian.

    Zoe: Why not?

    Reggie: Because they're not! Esther Rantzen isn't a lesbian. My mum is not a lesbian.

    Stella: How do you know?

    Reggie: How do I know my Mum's not a lesbian?

    Ray: What he's trying to say is, you can't make grand, sweeping generalizations. It's not acceptable.

    [beat]

    StephStellaZoe: [Resumes Singing] Every woman is a lesbian at heart/Every woman is a lesbian at heart/Every woman is a lesbian at heart/Including Reggie's Mum!

  • Reggie: Nobody said anything about hiding who we are.

    Mark: Yes, they did. You.

    Reggie: I just think if everybody takes it easy on the...

    Ray: Flamboyance.

    Reggie: We're more likely to fit in.

    Jonathan: I'm sorry, just to be clear, when you say "flamboyance", you mean gay. And when you say "everyone", you mean me.

    Mark: Jonathan.

    Jonathan: Good. It's just I haven't spoken 1950s in quite a while.

  • Reggie: My man, how come you never come to BSU?

    Lionel Higgins: I listen to Mumford and Sons and watch Robert Altman movies . Do you really think I'm black enough for the Union?

    Smoothe: Yo! I *love* Robert Altman! Motherfucker goes *in*!

  • Reggie: [Admiring the pork ribs he's just barbecued] See this swine? It's fine, divine, sublime, and right...

    Otis: ...on time!

  • Reggie: Um, tell her... we realize..."no means no".

  • Reggie: The way I see it, nobody ever really dies. We just reach a point in our lives where we've done all we can do or all we're willing to do. Once we've peaked, that's it. That's how we spend eternity.

  • Reggie: You are so beyond fucked, you couldn't catch a bus back to fucked.

  • Reggie: Marco... good news! The cops found the car and your girlfriend... the BITCH is in JAIL!

    Javier: Are you going to visit her in Jail, Marco?

    Marco: Fuck off!

    JJ: Maybe you can get laid again

    Lance: Make sure you get a woman's jail.

    Bobby: Why? He could get laid in a men's jail too right?

    Reggie: Where's Sean? I'm going to kill that Irish fuck

    Mohammed: How did they find the car?

    Reggie: Oh this is a good one... She a degenerate gambler drove the car to Vegas... guess what... THE BITCH WON! Ever come to my meetings on time asshole1

    Sean: I got a note from my doctor

    Reggie: Removed MOTH from right ear! You had a bug living in your head?

    Sean: It crawled in there... what's I supposed to do?

    Reggie: Go sit next to Marco... He's my NEW genius. Okay, we have to pick up the pace.You guys should be doing a lot better... You're letting too many customers walk. I want to hear some of their excuses. Try and STUMP me... I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. COME ON!

    Javier: "I'm just looking"

    Reggie: I'm just selling. Can't really look at a car unless you drive it. NEXT.

    Ali: "I think I can get a better deal somewhere else"

    Reggie: Sir, we all pay the same for cars, nobody can give you a better deal for the cars. COME inside and I'LL SHOW YOU.

    Bobby: "This is the first place I've been to"

    Reggie: Then You're lucky you came to the best place first!

    JJ: "I have to see what kind of Interest rate my credit union can give me"

    Reggie: We have a book that lists all the credit unions. I can tell you what your rate and payments will be. COME ON GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE!

    Sean: "I have to check with my wife"

    Reggie: What's the phone number, we'll call her right now.

    Bobby: "I have to look a couple other cars first"

    Reggie: Why? Consumer Reports, Car and Driver, Triple AAA... they've looked all the cars for you and they say THIS ONE'S THE BEST!

  • Ali: I want to look at a Ford

    Reggie: Ok. Sir, come on and drag the fucking with you. where we going? To the Ford dealer down the street, asshole. COME ON. We'll compare them SIDE BY SIDE!

    Mohammed: I don't have a good credit

    Reggie: We can finance anybody

    JJ: I just declared bankruptcy two weeks ago.

    Reggie: Then what the FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE! Okay, you get the idea. Let's sell some metal... I want CREDIT APPS. I want FULL WRITE UPS. I want COMITTMENTS! I'm buying lunch for the guy with the first deal. LET'S GO!

    JJ: Let's kick some ass baby!

  • Clint Von Hooser: [Reggie borrows money from Clint so she can take Mark Sway to New Orleans] There goes my rent money. Now where am I gonna stay?

    Reggie: You can stay here and take care of Momma Love. She likes you better than me, anyway.

    Clint Von Hooser: Well, that ain't hard to do.

  • Roy: Okay... what do you want?

    Reggie: You have access to a private jet?

    Roy: I do.

    Reggie: Send it to Memphis, have it pick up Diane and Ricky Sway, bring them here. The whole family enters the Witness Protection program. Well, how are we doing so far?

    Roy: [writing] Nothing I can't live with.

    Reggie: The program sets them up with a fair income, and a nice little house. White, with a walk-in closet.

    [off Roy's look]

    Reggie: Well, write it down. "Walk-in closet."

    Roy: [sarcastic] Is "walk in" hyphenated?

  • Reggie: [upon seeing Mark's Led Zeppelin t-shirt] You like Led Zeppelin?

    Mark: Yeah. Do YOU like Led Zeppelin?

    Reggie: Oh, sure. They were a great band.

    Mark: I bet you've never even heard of Led Zeppelin. I bet you're just one of them grown ups who just pretends to like really cool bands just to get close to little punks like me.

    Reggie: Well, I think we've covered just about everything...

    Mark: Ok, what's you're favorite Led Zeppelin song?

    Reggie: um... Moby Dick, live version. Bitchin' drum solo.

  • Reggie: I have been sober for three years.

    Mark: Yeah right, that's what all the drunks say, how they're gonna get sober and all. They even say they love you but they don't. And then they come home wasted and beat on you and your mother so bad that you gotta hit 'em in the face with a baseball bat!

    Reggie: You're talkin' about your daddy aren't you?

    Mark: Yeah, well, I got rid of him. When me and my mom went into court to buy our divorce our lawyer SUCKED as usual, so I went up there and told the judge myself about all the beatin's, about how he made us sleep in the street. And that's when my father became my ex-father, and now I got you, and you're a drunk and a bad lawyer too! So now I'm gettin' rid of you, you're fired, okay?

  • Roy: Help me out here, Reggie. How far is it to that body?

    Reggie: [leans forward and whispers] Twelve itty, bitty, tiny minutes.

    Roy: [grins] Thank you, Reggie.

    Reggie: You're welcome, Roy.

  • Reggie: You've been lyin' to me. You got three to tell me the truth, 1... 2... 3...

    Mark: YOU'RE THE LIAR! KEEP THE DOLLAR! YOU'RE FIRED!

  • Roy: What's the Cloak and Dagger all about Reggie, you know you can trust us?

    Reggie: You three come here alone?

    Roy: Uh huh.

    Reggie: That the truth?

    Roy: 'course it is!

    Reggie: [smiles] Well then, why don't you have one of them

    [points to the agents]

    Reggie: just trot out to one of those cars that aren't in the parkin' lot and get a pen and paper from one of those agents that aren't out there?

  • Roy: You've been awful busy, Reggie, obstruction of justice, tampering with federal evidence,

    [pauses as he taps his pen on the table]

    Roy: contributing to the delinquency of a minor, you've been REAL busy.

    Reggie: Oh Roy, I am so FLATTERED that you noticed!

  • Reggie: [Reggie force's Bella's head towards his crotch] I hope your hungry, cos it's time for dindins! Open wide.

  • Leonna Barrett: [as the crowd is chanting "FREE MR. CLARK"] Listen to me! People, please! You must all disperse and return to your homes! Your presence here is helping no one! Why don't you use your brains and listen?

    Clarence: [stepping up to take the megaphone and turn on the siren] Everybody, come on, listen up, listen up! Now let's just settle down, give her a chance to talk. She might actually have something to say. Now everybody just chill, settle down and let's listen to the old loudmouth wench!

    [Everyone laughs and cheers as he hands her back the megaphone]

    Leonna Barrett: [as she is talking on the megaphone, Mr. Clark approaches the doorway at the top of the City Hall stairs] You can call me what you want, but the simple fact is Mr. Clark has broken the laws in this state and exposed you all to grave danger.

    [Everyone boos and protests]

    Leonna Barrett: His behavior is irresponsible. Chaining those doors was a criminal act. Why do you think they call him Crazy Joe?

    Thomas Sams: Because you all don't understand him!

    Maria: Yeah that's right! He chained those doors to keep out the drug dealers. To make us all feel safe. You talk about the law but you're twisting the law. The laws are made to protect the people and that's what he's doing for us

    [Everyone applauds in agreement]

    Reggie: The thing you don't understand is that Mr. Clark believes in us. He's provided an environ...

    Kaneesha Carter: [to Reggie] He don't believe in you, 'cause you don't take care of your responsibilities!

    [everyone points and laughs at him]

    Leonna Barrett: Despite what he himself may believe, Mr. Clark is not Eastside High!

    Kaneesha Carter: Mr. Clark is not only Eastside High! Mr. Clark is like a father! He's the only father that some of us who don't have fathers know. You don't know a thing about Mr. Clark!

    Leonna Barrett: People, just hear me! The school board is meeting right now and I promise you, we will give you what Eastside High deserves- a good principal!

    Thomas Sams: We don't WANT a good principal! WE WANT MR. CLARK!

  • Reggie: Life is a series of colossal mistakes.

  • Eleanor: What was the name of that piece you wrote for the recital?

    Reggie: Like Sunday, Like Rain.

    Eleanor: So beautiful.

    Reggie: I'll write a part for the cornet.

  • Reggie: It does work. If you belong together with someone, then it works. Trouble is finding someone you belong with. Belongs with you. Do you think you will ever see him again?

    Eleanor: No, someone doesn't treat you the way you deserve, then they don't deserve to have you.

  • Reggie: Welcome to the weirdness. I'm just trying to navigate a course towards safety and sanity best way I know how.

  • Reggie: I wonder if anyone will ever love me?

    Eleanor: I think the odds are pretty good.

  • Reggie: You have a gift, and you have an obligation to take care of it.

    Eleanor: What are you *talking* about? For all you know, I could be the worst cornet player in the whole world.

    Reggie: I don't think so. I don't think you'd have been chosen for that all star band if that were the case. And you certainly wouldn't have gotten into Julliard. It's a crime to deprive the world of your art.

    Eleanor: I thought you said art was dead.

    Reggie: Yes, and it will remain that way if all the great artists abandon their cornets and move to Idaho... Just promise me you'll come back to it. Promise me you'll come back to your music.

    Eleanor: I will if you will.

    Reggie: Deal.

  • Reggie: I guess right around 4 I figured out I was sort of a math prodigy, solving pretty intricate math problems.

    Eleanor: Like What.

    Reggie: Multiplying 7 to 10 digit numbers in my head. I could give you the cube root of pretty much any number.

    Eleanor: Like Rainman.

    Reggie: No, he was an autistic savant. As you can tell, I'm alert, extroverted, affable and articulate...

    Eleanor: Of course.

    Reggie: ...and not to mention devilishly handsome.

    Eleanor: Not to mention.

  • Reggie: What made you leave; your whole family's here?

    Eleanor: I think you just answered your own question... I wanted to go to Julliard.

    Reggie: To be an actress?

    Eleanor: No. God no. For music.

    Reggie: For music?

    Eleanor: Yeah, I play the cornet.

  • Eleanor: Fifty-two bucks for a spinach salad?

    Reggie: It's a heck of a salad, trust me. Everything here is top notch. I usually order the wild mushroom risotto. Get whatever you like. I got this. We have an account here.

    Eleanor: I guess just the garden salad.

    Reggie: That's all? Eat! This guy's a world class chef.

    Eleanor: What are we supposed to do for the next 6 weeks?

    Reggie: This is New York City kid. There's never a loss for things to do here, trust me.

    Eleanor: I just seems wrong, you're supposed to be in that camp.

    Reggie: Camp Pinnacle is not an option for me, OK? It never was. Now let's not refer to camp any more.

  • Reggie: [Eleanor getting obnoxious texts from Dennis] Another thing about Gerard, he used to work for John Gotti.

    Eleanor: Who?

    Reggie: Gerard, my driver, he used to be a soldier for Gotti.

    Eleanor: Mmmm, is that so?

    Reggie: He may still have some ties to some of those folks. I was thinking he might be of some assistance.

    Eleanor: With What?

    Reggie: Your situation.

    Eleanor: I don't follow.

    Reggie: Your situation with your boyfriend.

    Eleanor: Oh my God!

    Reggie: He won't be an issue in your life after that, trust me.

    Eleanor: Are you outta your mind?

    Reggie: It used to be his job.

    [restraining a smile]

    Eleanor: Would you just drop the subject please.

    Reggie: He could just go and have a little talk with him.

    Eleanor: I appreciate your concern and all.

    Reggie: It's just a suggestion.

    Eleanor: I told you not to worry about any of that... Jesus!

  • Eleanor: I'm doing a horrible job.

    Reggie: What are you talking about, you're doing a great job.

    Eleanor: No. I don't want you to know about the stuff.

    Reggie: What stuff?

    Eleanor: My stuff, the sordid details of my breakups, the stuff that happens in my personal life. We don't know each other that well, and you're to young to understand.

    Reggie: Don't be too sure about that, I have a great deal of understanding.

    Eleanor: God.

    Reggie: Well beyond my years.

  • Reggie: It's been really nice getting to know you.

    Eleanor: You too.

    Reggie: It's hard to believe it's only been a couple of months, I feel like I've known you -

    [pauses]

    Reggie: I have all these words, these things, things I feel the need to say to you. Only now, suddenly I don't have the capacity to speak.

    Eleanor: I couldn't stay forever, you know? It was only supposed to be a temporary thing. It's okay.

    [Eleanor drops to her knees and they embrace]

  • Raj: [playing chess in the park] Anyway, I have to go to karate camp.

    Reggie: That sounds awful.

    Raj: Why on earth does Dad think I need to learn karate?

    Reggie: Maybe because you're constantly getting your ass kicked.

    Raj: What I'd really like to do is this hip-hop dance camp.

    Reggie: That should do wonders for your profile... Don't do that.

    Raj: Easy for you to say. You get to sit in the park all day with your hot-as-hell nanny.

  • Eleanor: I just don't want you to worry about it, or think about it. Okay?

    Reggie: Okay. I won't worry about it. I'm not worried about it.

    Eleanor: Good.

    Reggie: But I can't guarantee I won't think about it. It's what I do. I think about things. It's my nature.

    Eleanor: Fine. You can think.

  • Reggie: The prospect of ending up a bitter and lonely drunk doesn't quite appeal to me.

    Eleanor: Okay.

    Reggie: And not to mention the fact that art, as a language, is dead. It doesn't matter what you have to say or how well you might be able to say it. Dead.

    Eleanor: Kind of a bleak view.

    Reggie: Yes, it is.

  • Ronald: Tan my hide. I can't believe it.

    Reggie: I know. How cool would it be to find an alien?

    Ronald: Not an alien, you space cadet, oil. We found oil.

    Reggie: Did we?

    Ronald: See all of this growth? This is the result of heavy mineral deposits. And where there's minerals there's...

    Reggie: Aliens?

    Ronald: I blame your mother. Oil, you idiot. Where there's minerals there's oil. We're golden.

  • Ronald: Think, we need those coordinates.

    Reggie: I got it. 11-27-81.

    Ronald: That's your birthday, you idiot.

  • Reggie: Dad! An alien took the cell phone! How cool is that?

    Ronald: Did what you just say to me make any sense to you?

    Reggie: Duh, you ever hear of "phone home"?

  • Reggie: The ice cream is gonna be flyin' fast and furious.

  • Reggie: Hi guys. Heh heh, just thought I'd come over and see what was going on before the kids got out of summer school. Hey Mike, you want to ride along with me today? It's pretty warm outside and the ice cream's going to be flying fast and furious. Remember how good you were at crowd control last time? Hey, what's going on here?

  • Reggie: Okay. I see it, I see it all now. What we gotta do is we gotta snag that tall dude and stomp the shit out of him, and we'll find out what the hell is going on up there. Yeah! We lay that sucker out flat and drive a stake right through his goddamn heart!

    Mike: You gotta be shittin' me, man! That mother's strong!

  • Mike: First he took mom and dad, then he took Jody, now he's after me.

    Reggie: Mike, that tall man of yours did not take Jody away. Jody died in a car wreck.

  • Reggie: Hey, guys.

    Mike: Reggie! You ain't dead!

    Reggie: No, and I ain't three-foot-two yet either!

  • Reggie: Some cops can be real assholes.

  • Reggie: Did you hear something?

    Michael: It's just the wind. Only the wind.

  • Reggie: We better move away from the car before the gasoline blows.

    Jennifer: Wait! I thought cars only blew up like that in the movies!

    [Car explodes in a huge fireball]

    Reggie: Yeah, me too.

  • Jennifer: Hey, we're not done yet.

    Reggie: Sorry baby, but yes we are.

  • George: Go and let everyone else know breakfast is ready.

    Reggie: Yo! Breakfast! Come and get it!

    George: I could've done that.

  • Reggie: Stop! Don't you touch those titties.

  • Marc: Get the gas.

    Reggie: But I hit it with the fucking car!

    Marc: I got hit with the car once, I am still alive! Get the gas!

  • Reggie: [Annoyed that he can't get Myra to smile] I've heard that it takes more muscles to smile than frown.

    Myra: [sarcasm] That's how I work out.

  • Reggie: Uh, Myra, uh, heh, Myra... how 'bout lunch today?

    Myra: [sarcastic rebuff] I have lunch every day!

    Storkelson: [Amused] My man, that was a Class 'A' burn.

    Storkelson: [Mimicking Myra with a silly voice] "I have lunch every day!"

    Storkelson: [laughing] She's a bitch, but she's got some good lines!

  • Reggie: I wanted to go out with you, Myra Smuldanski, because I wanted to go out with YOU. You're attractive. And extremely witty, and very sharp. And you have a strength and a drive that I've never seen in anyone.

    Myra: [sarcasm] Are you shopping for a girl, or a GEO 'Metro?'

Browse more character quotes from Bad Boys II (2003)

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