Recruiter Quotes in Deadpool (2016)
Recruiter Quotes:
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Recruiter: What if I told you we can cure your cancer? And what's more, give you abilities most mean only dream of?
Wade Wilson: I'd say that you sound like an infomercial, but not a good one, like Slap Chop. More Shake Weight-y.
-- Recruiter -
Recruiter: Mr. Wilson.
Wade Wilson: How can I help you? Besides luring children into a panel van.
-- Recruiter -
Recruiter: Mr. Wilson. Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's. You finally hit "fuck it."
Wade Wilson: Just promise you'll do right by me. So I can do right by someone else.
Recruiter: Of course.
Wade Wilson: And please don't make the super-suit green. Or animated.
-- Recruiter -
Deadpool: 41 confirmed kills. Now it's 80. About to be 90.
Recruiter: Mr. Wilson?
Deadpool: Ding-ding.
Recruiter: You're looking very alive.
Deadpool: Ha! Only on the outside!
Recruiter: This is not going to end well for me, is it?
Deadpool: This is not gonna end well for you, no. Where's your boss?
Recruiter: I can tell you exactly...
Deadpool: Oh, you tell me. But first... You might wanna look way for this. Now this little piggy went to...
[pushes the camera away and the Recruiter screams]
-- Recruiter -
Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
John Winger: Convicted? No.
Russell Ziskey: Never convicted.
-- Recruiter -
Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or...
Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.
Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.
John Winger: Yeah, would they send us someplace special?
Recruiter: I guess that's "no" on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph...
-- Recruiter -
[last lines]
Recruiter: [after Johnnie has brought back The General] Occupation?
Johnnie Gray: Soldier!
-- Recruiter -
Alan Shepard: Sounds dangerous
Recruiter: It is! Extremely dangerous!
Alan Shepard: Count me in!
[smiles]
-- Recruiter -
Recruiter: Funding. That's what makes your ships go up. I'll tell you something, and you guys too: No bucks, no Buck Rodgers.
-- Recruiter -
Liaison Man: You mean for this "space race", you don't want our best pilots?
Recruiter: I didn't say that. We want the best pilots that we can get.
-- Recruiter -
Chuck Yeager: [NASA recruiters are talking to test pilots] You need lab rabbits.
Recruiter: Sorry, I didn't get that.
Chuck Yeager: I said you need lab rabbits to curl up in your damn capsule. With its heart going "pitter-patter". And a wire up the kazook. I don't hold with it.
Scott Crossfield: I don't either. You want a pilot to become a balistic missile. And then splash down - possibly get lost at sea.
Pancho Barnes: See, some peckerwood's gotta get the thing up. And some peckerwood's gotta land the son of a bitch. And that "peckerwood" is called a "pilot".
-- Recruiter -
[during job interview]
Recruiter: Well, I see your hobbies include "drinkin', smokin' weed, and all kinds of ill shit."
-- Recruiter
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