Recorder Quotes in Postal (2007)
Recorder Quotes:
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Blither: [Dude has just seen the decapitated heads on some spikes] I see you noticed the heads. Motivational. Those are every fucking bastard I had to climb over to get this job.
Dude: [Shocked] Jesus...
Blither: [laughs] Foul. They're paper mache. Heh-
[to Recorder]
Blither: He thought they were real.
[chuckles; then, to Dude]
Blither: Sit down.
[Dude sits down as he notices one of the 'fake heads' bleeding]
Blither: Let's get started. Now, I hope you don't mind the recording. We're gonna use it as training later.
[Dude is struggling to sit straight on a seemingly broken chair as Blither is telling him this]
Blither: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Dude: Uh, it's, uh, the chair is...
Blither: [Interrupting] Alright, we're on a time clock. So let's get started, alright?
Dude: Alright. Well... so, uh, I'm here for the job, sir.
Blither: [looking through Dude's resume] Right, you're a factory worker.
Dude: I WAS a factory worker, but the factory got closed down. So, I got laid off.
Blither: I have interviewed fifteen other people for this job. What makes you think you're better than them?
Dude: Well, I don't know if I am better than them...
Blither: Well, god damn it, pal! If you want this job, you better reach out and grab it! You better put those fucking heads on the wall!
[pause]
Blither: You know what? Fuck it, let's go to questions.
Recorder: What is your greatest strength?
Dude: Uh... I'm a really good team player.
Recorder: Wrong.
[Types for a while]
Recorder: What is your greatest weakness?
Dude: Uh, I'd say I work too hard.
[chuckles]
Recorder: Wrong.
[Types again]
Recorder: How would you move a mountain using only a spoon?
Dude: A spoon?
Recorder: If you were in a box, how would you think outside it?
[Dude starts to think of an answer]
Recorder: Wrong.
[Types again]
Recorder: Last question: What is the difference between a duck?
Dude: [Long awkward pause] And...
[Another pause; Dude is waiting for more to the question, but nothing. Then, Dude stands up in frustration]
Dude: What the hell is wrong with you people? A wha- a duck? I don- I came here for a job! A JOB! As far as I know, that job has nothing to do with a cocksucking, motherfucking DUCK!
Blither: [after a long pause] Congratulations, pal. You're our leading candidate. How does it feel?
Dude: [Surprised] It feels good?
Blither: No, no, no. How does it feel, huh? How does it feel? I mean, how does it feel to put fucking fifteen heads on that wall? I'll tell you how it feels! It feels fucking great, doesn't it? It feels fucking great.
[Starts making pelvic thrusts]
Dude: [Excited] So, I got it! I got the job!
Blither: Oh, hell no. No, no, no, this is just a getting-to-know-you interview. We still have some more, uh, one hundred and twenty? Yeah, some more candidates, but hell of a start, though.
-- Recorder
Browse more character quotes from Postal (2007)
Characters on Postal (2007)
- Uncle Dave
- Uwe Boll
- Old Lady in Audience
- Officer Greg
- Officier John
- Blither
- Osama bin Laden
- Official Licenced Krotchy Doll
- Mohammed
- Mob Member
- Vince Desiderio
- Verne Troyer
- Super-Impose
- Mob Leader
- Nassira
- Habib
- Asif
- Nabi
- Official Licensed Krotchy Doll
- Candidate Wells
- Morning show host Bob
- Harry the Wheelchair Guy
- Panhandler
- Bitch
- Ass-Kissing Employee
- George W. Bush
- Taliban
- Retarded Taliban
- D.O.O.M. member
- Osama Bin Ladin
- Other Talibans
- Reporter Gayle
- Security Guard #1
- Election Poster
- Sign on door to Taliban hide-out
- Speaker
- Mitzi