Raymond Quotes in Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)

Zeus: [in Zeus' electric shop] Now, where you goin'?

Dexter: School.

Zeus: Why?

Raymond: To get educated.

Zeus: *Why*?

Dexter: So we can go to college.

Zeus: And why is that important?

Dexter: To get es-pect.

Zeus: RE-spect. Now, who's the bad guys?

Dexter: Guys who sell drugs.

Raymond: Guys who have guns.

Zeus: And who's the good guys?

Dexter: We're the good guys.

Zeus: Who's gonna help you?

Raymond: Nobody.

Zeus: *So who's gonna help you*?

Dexter: We're gonna help ourselves.

Zeus: And who do we not want to help us?

Dexter, Raymond: White people.

Zeus: That's right. Now get on outta here. Go to school.

Raymond: [coming into Zeus' electric shop] Yo, uncle!

Dexter: [referring to the radio their carrying] Come look at this!

Zeus: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school?

Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this.

Zeus: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?

Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster.

Zeus: He keeps stealing from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.

Raymond: No, he didn't steal it. He says his uncle gave it to him.

Zeus: Mm-hm? Hand me that newspaper over there.

[Raymond hands Zeus the paper, and he whaps his nephews' heads lightly]

Zeus: Don't *ever* let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property; if you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.

Dexter: Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?

Zeus: No, I'll take it back to Tony... with a message.

Principal Martinez: [addressing her students in the auditorium, trying to keep them calm as Walter instructed her to] Hi kids. I know you usually have assembly on Fridays, but today's special. Mr. Lambert here is from the fire department and today he wants us to practice a brand new fire drill. So, I want you to divide in half, and I want half of you to go over here - teachers will help them - and line up against the wall. The other half will go in this direction. Please do it very quietly and very quickly, alright? Everybody up please. Teachers, please help them.

Raymond: Fire drill, my ass. That guy ain't from the fire department.

Dexter: Maybe it's cuz of the radio.

Raymond: You mean, like, they're after us? Nah.

Dexter: Tony squealed on us!

Raymond: No he didn't.

Zeus: Dial 911. Tell the police to get up here quick. Somebody's about to get killed. And get your butts to school, you hear me?

Raymond: [casually] Yeah.

Dexter: Yeah.

[Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and surprises Raymond]

Charlie: Good morning, Raymond.

Raymond: Good morning, Miss Caine.

Charlie: What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here. Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me... I'll blow your fucking head off.

King James: [interrupting Raymond's phone call] Yo Raymond. I need you to do some recon for me. See how those country motherfuckers got here. I know they didn't walk.

Raymond: I ain't got time to be playin' army with you trigger-happy motherfuckers! I got business to tend to!

King James: [produces bundle of $100 bills] Cancel it. I'm hiring you for the rest of the day.

Raymond: [into cell phone] Yo. We're gonna have to reschedule that thing.

Raymond: Yeah, right. That's what I'll do, give my car keys to a car thief.

Gordon: Listen, we're not gonna give you any trouble, why don't you just take what you want.

Raymond: Take what we want? What do we look like, fuckin' prosciutto bandits?

Raymond: Self defense is 'I hit you, you hit me, not I hit you, you kill me'.

Curtis: Ray, if we don't kill him he's gonna tell the cops it was us.

Raymond: We're gonna tie him up, we're gonna put him in the RV.

Curtis: Jesus Christ. You guys wanna be bad guys but you don't want to kill anybody. Ray, I think you better really reexamine your commitment to your lifestyle.

Raymond: Your mum is no longer there, Icare.

Courgette: My name is Courgette!

Raymond: Courgette... Did your mum call you that? Hm. My name is Raymond.

Courgette: Did your mum call you that?

Raymond: Are you always so sure of yourself?

Aquamarine: Yes.

Raymond: It's nice. More people should be like that.

Aquamarine: Do you love me?

Raymond: No but I think you're hot

Raymond: What? What do you want me to tell you?

Aquamarine: [Kisses him] You can tell me how that makes you feel.

Becca: [to Raymond] You don't remember be do you? Becca Thompson?

Raymond: Hm?

Becca: I'm going to have to ask you to stop staring at my tits.

Cornelius: Out of the question, it's a historical artifact.

Raymond: True, but it doesn't belong to you.

Cornelius: You're father gave it to me, that makes it a donation.

Becca: And there's nothing I can do to help persuade you?

[Becca makes a fellatio gesture]

Cornelius: [Scoffs] Him. What about him?

[Raymond looks at Becca]

Raymond: What about me?

[At a Lakers game]

Claire: C'mon! Take it to the hole!

Raymond: Oh, baby! I love it when you talk dirty!

[During a car chase]

Raymond: Use the Force, Luke!

Claire: Stop the car!

Raymond: Stop the car? THIS IS A CAR CHASE! I went to considerable expense to set this up. We can't just stop!

Raymond: Dr. Eugene Sands?

Eugene: How do you know my name?

Raymond: Took an interest.

Eugene: I'm sorry, you are?

Raymond: Oh, I'm sorry. Raymond Blossom.

Eugene: You gonna hurt me?

Raymond: You asking because you're afraid or because you want me to?

Eugene: Just trying to plan my day.

Raymond: Oh, man, if I'm interfering with your plans, please forgive me. It's just I was so knocked out by what you did last night I said I gotta meet this guy. That's it. That's all there is to it. Medical Science amazes me.

Eugene: Is kidnapping the only way you can meet new friends?

Raymond: You've got to EMBRACE your criminal self!

Claire: Maybe he doesn't have a criminal self.

Raymond: You think I'm criminal?

Eugene: I think you're about as much of a criminal as I'm a doctor.

Raymond: And you're a very good doctor.

Raymond: what does it look like I'm doing? I'm fucking everybody!

Gage: [answering phone] Gage.

Raymond: It's Raymond Blossom.

Gage: Do I know you?

Raymond: As well as you can know someone you have under 24 hour surveillance.

Gage: Oh, that Raymond Blossom.

Raymond: Hey, Eugene, have you ever thought about the idea that everything that happens, every action, causes a reaction? I mean, no matter how far away or obscure? Ah. A butterfly flaps its wings in Tibet, a car gets a flat in Toronto, a guy gets a blow job in Bangkok. All connected. All subject to the linkages of cause and effect, even if comprehensible only in retrospect.

Paul: You ever been to pussy heaven?

Jeffrey Beaumont: [nervous tone] No.

Frank Booth: What did he say?

Paul: [sarcastic tone] He said, "Uh, no."

Raymond: Nope. Never been to pussy heaven.

[All laugh]

Raymond: Do you want me to pour it Frank?

Frank Booth: No I want you to fuck it. Shit, yes, pour the fuckin' beer!

Raymond: He's a pussy, Frank!

Frank Booth: Yeah, but he's our pussy.

[Looks at Dorothy]

Frank Booth: Ain't that right, tits?

[Raymond is threatening Jeffrey with his switchblade]

Raymond: Here today... gone tomorrow.

Hunter: Ha, ha! You tell him Raymond!

Paul: That don't scare me!

[Paul turns towards Jeffrey]

Paul: I'm Paul. What's your name?

Jeffrey Beaumont: Jeffrey.

Paul: Huh.

[after a pause]

Paul: I'm Paul.

Charlie: Who took this picture?

Raymond: D-A-D.

Charlie: And you lived with us?

Raymond: Yeah, 10962 Beachcrest Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.

Charlie: When did you leave?

Raymond: January 12, 1965. Very snowy that day. 7.2 inches of snow that day.

Charlie: Just after Mom died.

Raymond: Yeah Mom died January 5, 1965.

Charlie: You remember that day. Was I there? Where was I?

Raymond: You were in the window. You waved to me, "Bye bye Rain Man", "Bye bye."

Dr. Bruner: Well, Raymond? Aren't you more comfortable in your favorite K-Mart clothes?

Charlie: Tell him, Ray.

Raymond: K-Mart sucks.

Dr. Bruner: Oh, I see.

Charlie: Hey, Ray: you just made a joke.

Raymond: Yeah, a joke. Ha ha ha... ha.

Doctor: Ray, can we try something?

Raymond: Yeah.

Doctor: Do you know how much 312 x 123 is?

Raymond: [saying digit after digit] 3-8-3-7-6.

Doctor: [amazed] He's right.

Charlie: What?

Doctor: He's right!

Charlie: He's right?

Doctor: Yeah.

[the calculator shows 38376]

Doctor: Ray... How much is 4343 x 1234?

Raymond: [saying digit after digit] 5-3-5-9-2-6-2

Charlie: He's a genius...

Doctor: Right.

Charlie: He's a genius!

Doctor: Ray! Do you know how much a square root of 2130 is?

Raymond: 4-6 point 1-5-1-9-2-3-0-4.

[the calculator shows 46.15192304]

Raymond: 2-3-0-4.

Charlie: That's amazing! He is amazing! He should work for NASA or something like that.

Doctor: [walking to Raymond] If you had a dollar... and you spent 50 cents, how much money would you have left?

Raymond: About 70...

Doctor: 70 cents?

Raymond: 70 cents.

Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.

Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!

Charlie: Listen... Ray, I don't know if I'm gonna have a chance to talk to you again. Because you see, these... Dr. Bruner really likes you a lot, and he's probably gonna take you back. You know?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: What I said about being on the road with you I meant. Connecting. I like having you for my brother.

Raymond: I'm an excellent driver.

Charlie: [smiling] Yes, you are. I like having you for my big brother.

Raymond: C-H-A-R-L-I-E. C-H-A-R-L-I-E. Main man.

[In a telephone booth with the door closed]

Raymond: Uh oh fart. Uh oh fart.

Charlie: Did you fart, Ray? Did you fucking fart?

Raymond: Fart.

Charlie: [Trying unsuccessfully to open the door] How can you stand that?

Raymond: I don't mind it.

Charlie: How can you stand it?

Raymond: Ten minutes to Wapner. We're definitely locked in this box with no TV.

[after Ray spills a box of toothpicks on the floor]

Raymond: 82, 82, 82.

Charlie: 82 what?

Raymond: Toothpicks.

Charlie: There's a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray.

Raymond: 246 total.

Charlie: How many?

Sally Dibbs: 250.

Charlie: Pretty close.

Sally Dibbs: There's four left in the box.

[Repeated line]

Raymond: I'm an excellent driver.

Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers?

Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it.

Charlie: What? Stop that for a second.

Raymond: I see it.

Charlie: Raymond!

[Grabs tooth brush from him]

Charlie: When I say stop it, why don't you stop it? Why do you always have to act like an idiot?

[Raymond begins to laugh]

Charlie: You think that's funny?

Raymond: Yeah funny Rain Man, funny teeth.

Charlie: What'd you say? Funny teeth? What?

Raymond: I didn't say funny teeth, funny Rain Man.

Charlie: You? You're the Rain Man?

Doctor: Ray, do you want to stay and live with Charlie?

Raymond: Yeah.

Doctor: Or do you want to go back to Walbrook?

Raymond: Yeah.

Doctor: Which is it? Go back to Walbrook or stay with Charlie Babbitt?

Raymond: Go back to Walbrook, stay with Charlie Babbitt.

Doctor: Raymond, do you know what autistic is?

Raymond: Yeah.

Doctor: You know that word?

Raymond: Yeah.

Doctor: Are you autistic?

Raymond: I don't think so. No. Definitely not.

[Raymond has jumped in the car with Susanna]

Charlie: Hey, who is this guy?

Susanna: He just jumped in the car.

Charlie: Yeah well he can jump out. Come on!

Raymond: I'm an excellent driver.

Charlie: That's good. Come on! Susanna, why'd you let him get in this car? It's not a toy.

Susanna: He says he drives this car.

Raymond: Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway every Saturday. 'Course the seats were originally brown leather now they're a pitiful red.

Charlie: [surprised] Hey, these seats were brown leather. You know this car?

Raymond: I know this car.

Charlie: How do you know this car?

Raymond: It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster. Straight 8. Fireball 8. Only 8,985 production models. Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway. But not on Monday, definitely not on Monday.

Charlie: Who's your dad?

Raymond: Sanford Babbitt. 10961 Beachcrest Street, Cincinnati Ohio.

Charlie: That's my address. Hey, who's your mother?

Raymond: Eleanor Babbitt. Died January 5, 1965 after short and sudden illness.

Charlie: Who the hell are you?

Raymond: Uh oh, fifteen minutes to Judge Wapner.

[Raymond proceeds back to Walbrook, ignoring Charlie]

Charlie: Wait, I wanna ask you a question! Hey! Dr. Bruner, who is he?

Dr. Bruner: Raymond is your brother.

Raymond: [after Charlie throws underwear out of car] Uh oh. Underwear on the highway. Uh oh.

Raymond: Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definitely not wearing my underwear.

Charlie: I gave you a fresh pair of mine to wear. Where are they?

Raymond: They're in the pocket of my jacket. Here.

Charlie: I don't want them back.

Raymond: These are not boxer shorts. Mine are boxer shorts. These are Hanes 32.

Charlie: Underwear is underwear, Ray.

Raymond: My boxer shorts have my name and it says Raymond.

Charlie: All right, when we pass the store, we'll pick you up a pair of boxer shorts.

Raymond: I get my boxer shorts at K-Mart in Cincinnati.

Charlie: We're not going back to Cincinnati, Ray, so don't even start with that.

Dr. Bruner: Raymond, wouldn't you feel more relaxed in your favorite K-Mart clothes?

Charlie: Tell him, Ray.

Raymond: K-Mart sucks.

Dr. Bruner: Oh, I see.

[last lines]

[Raymond is boarding a train back to Walbrook]

Raymond: 'Course, three minutes to Wapner.

Charlie: You'll make it.

Raymond: Yeah.

Raymond: That's my pen. That's definitely my book.

Charlie: Well taking your book is not a serious injury!

Raymond: Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue.

Charlie: Well forgive me, I've lost my secret decoder ring!

[Raymond doesn't want to go outside when it rains]

Charlie: Hey, Ray, you take a shower right?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: Well the rain is a lot like the shower, you get a little wet. What do you say, Ray? What do you say?

Raymond: Of course the shower is in the bathroom.

Charlie: That's the end of that conversation.

Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart.

Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CINCINNATI OR WHEREVER!

Raymond: K-Mart!

Charlie: You know what I think, Ray? I think this autism is a bunch of shit! Because you can't tell me that you're not in there somewhere!

Raymond: Boxer shorts. K-Mart!

Charlie: Listen, Ray, our dad died, that means he's not with us anymore. Did they tell you about that?

Raymond: I don't know.

Charlie: You don't know if they told you or you don't know what death is?

Raymond: I don't know.

Charlie: Ray, all airlines have crashed at one time or another, that doesn't mean that they are not safe.

Raymond: QANTAS. QANTAS never crashed.

Charlie: QANTAS?

Raymond: Never crashed.

Charlie: Oh that's gonna do me a lot of good because QANTAS doesn't fly to Los Angeles out of Cincinnati, you have to get to Melbourne! Melbourne, Australia in order to get the plane that flies to Los Angeles!

Raymond: Of course you can't have pancakes without maple syrup.

Charlie: You bet your butt.

Raymond: Bet your butt.

Charlie: Now casinos have house rules: they don't like to lose. So you never show that you're counting cards. That is *the* cardinal sin, Ray.

Raymond: Counting cards is bad.

Charlie: Yes.

Raymond: I like to drive slow on the driveway.

Charlie: If you get this right, Ray, you can drive anywhere you want as slow as you want.

Charlie: Rain Man.

Raymond: Yeah?

Charlie: Let's play some cards!

Raymond: Yeah.

[Raymond is about to go back to Walbrook on a train. He and Charlie are saying goodbye]

Raymond: Very shiny train.

Charlie: Yeah, sure is.

[Raymond is boarding a train back to Walbrook]

Raymond: 'Course it's 10 minutes to Wapner.

Charlie: You'll make it.

Raymond: Yeah.

Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.

Charlie: Ray, enough already! Change the channel.

Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.

Charlie: Raymond, what were you doing in my room?

Charlie: I heard noises.

Raymond: You heard noises? Well, those noises are none of your business.

Sally Dibbs: Good Morning! Coffee?

Raymond: [looks at her nametag] Sally Dibbs, Dibbs Sally. 461-0192.

Sally Dibbs: How did you know my phone number?

Charlie: How did you know that?

Raymond: You said read the telephone book last night. Dibbs Sally. 461-0192.

Charlie: He, uh, remembers things. Little things sometimes.

Sally Dibbs: Very clever boys. I'll be right back.

Raymond: Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes.

Charlie: We haven't ordered yet, Ray.

Raymond: Of course when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it'll definitely be too late.

Charlie: How is that gonna be too late? We haven't ordered the pancakes yet.

Raymond: We're gonna be here the entire morning with no maple syrup and no - no toothpicks, I'm definitely, definitely not gonna have my pancakes w-with...

[Charlie grabs him by the neck]

Raymond: OW!

Charlie: Don't make a scene!

Raymond: OW!

Charlie: Stop acting like a fucking retard.

Raymond: UH-OH!

[Pulls out red book and writes in it]

Charlie: What are you writing?... What the fuck is this? "Serious Injury List"? *Serious* injury list? Are you fucking kidding me?

Raymond: Number eighteen in 1988, Charlie Babbitt squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck in 1988.

Charlie: Squeezed and pulled and hurt your neck in 1988?

Charlie: I'm going to see you in 2 weeks now how many days is that before we'll be together?

Raymond: 14 days from today, today's Wednesday.

Charlie: Hours?

Raymond: 336 hours.

Charlie: Mystifying

Raymond: Course that's 20,160 minutes. 1,290,600, six hundred seconds.

Doctor: Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs?

Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.

Doctor: Do you know how much one of those new compact cars costs?

Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.

[in a pancake restaurant]

Charlie: Okay, Ray, we've got blueberry, buckwheat, all flavors, what kind do you want?

Raymond: Pancakes.

Charlie: I know, but what kind?

Raymond: Pancakes.

Charlie: That's amazing. He should work for NASA or something like that.

Doctor: Ray, if you had a dollar and you spent fifty cents, how much would you have left over?

Raymond: About seventy.

Doctor: Seventy cents?

Raymond: Seventy cents.

Charlie: So much for the NASA idea.

Raymond: [to Charlie] K-Mart, we should go to K-Mart. 400 Oak Street.

Charlie: What did I tell you? After this!

Charlie: What's it going to be Ray? What's it going to be?

Raymond: This is a very dangerous highway.

Charlie: How am I going to get to LA?

Raymond: Course driving your car on this interstate is very dangerous.

Charlie: You want to get off the highway will that make you happy?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, well you gotta GET IN THE CAR SO THAT WE CAN GET OFF THE HIGHWAY!

Raymond: Course in 1986 46,400 male drivers were definitely involved in fatal accidents.

Raymond: C-H-A-R-L-I-E, my main man.

Charlie: What was it we cleared, eight-six thousand and change?

Raymond: Eighty-six thousand, five hundred...

Charlie: So, eighty thousand to pay the cars off. What did I say I had to pay to get the Rolex out of hock?

Raymond: Thirty-five hundred dollars.

Charlie: Thirty-five hundred. Don't have to pay for the rooms, they're comped. I'm free and clear, I'm going to go take a celebration piss. Don't go anywhere. While I'm gone, the sign says, "Don't walk."

Raymond: Don't walk.

Charlie: Don't walk.

[Ray and Charlie are sitting at a duck pond. Ray is staring off into space]

Charlie: Raymond, what are you looking at? The ducks are over here. What are you looking at?

Raymond: I don't know.

Raymond: Lights out at eleven.

Charlie: Yeah well new rules.

[Location: on a back road, nineteen minutes to eleven o'clock]

Charlie: We're not in the air, we're not on the highway, I'm on some shit secondary road. I gotta make up some time. I have to get to LA, I should've been there this afternoon, my business needs me. I gotta make up some time.

Raymond: Definitely watch TV but you have to be in bed at eleven. Lights out at eleven.

Charlie: Forget it.

Raymond: Uh oh, nineteen minutes to eleven.

Raymond: I'm an excellent driver.

Charlie: When did you drive?

Raymond: I drove slow on the driveway when my dad came to Walbrook.

Charlie: Was Dad in the car?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: I'll have to let you drive sometime.

[Raymond grabs the wheel and nearly steers them into an oncoming car]

Charlie: Raymond, you NEVER! NEVER touch the steering wheel when I'm driving. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?

[in a pancake restaurant]

Raymond: Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes.

Charlie: Ray.

Raymond: Yeah?

Charlie: [Presents a container of maple syrup] Ta da.

Raymond: Ha ha. Charlie Babbitt made a joke.

Raymond: 'Course I got Jeopardy! at five o'clock. I watch Jeopardy!

Charlie: Don't start with that, Ray.

Charlie: You've got a date, Ray, you're gonna go dancing.

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: You know how to dance, Ray?

Raymond: No.

Charlie: I'll have to teach you sometime.

Raymond: Definitely have to dance on my date. Have to learn how to dance. Definitely. Now.

Charlie: Ray, you're not gonna have to dance, but I will teach you sometime.

Raymond: Definitely have to dance with Iris.

Charlie: Sorry I even brought this up. You're right, Ray, you got a date with the only famous dancing hooker in Las Vegas.

Raymond: [to Susanna] Are you taking any prescription medication?

Vern: He likes you, that's just his way of showing it.

Susanna: When I touched him, he pulled away.

Vern: Don't take it personal. He never touched me and I'm closer to him than anyone in the world, known him for nine years. It's not in him. If I left tomorrow without saying goodbye, he probably wouldn't notice.

Susanna: He wouldn't notice if you left?

Vern: I'm not sure but I don't think people are his first priority.

[Charlie is pulling Raymond's books off the shelves, leaving Raymond nervous]

Charlie: You read The Twelth Night?

Raymond: I don't know. V-E-R-N.

Charlie: You read Macbeth?

Raymond: Yes.

Charlie: So you read all these stories and you don't know if you read the book?

Raymond: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.

Susanna: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?

Raymond: Monday night is Italian night.

Raymond: [after knocking the lamp onto the floor] Uh oh! Uh oh, V-E-R-N! V-E-R-N! Homes! What's happenin' homes!

[repeated line]

Raymond: Definitely not.

[Ray has stopped in the middle of the street because the sign said DON'T WALK. An angry driver is yelling at him]

Motorist: Hey you! Hey dipshit! Move it! You ain't gonna move, I'll move you!

Raymond: Have to get to K-Mart. 400 Oak Street. The sign said 'Don't Walk'. Have to get to K-Mart.

Iris: So, what are you doing in Las Vegas?

Raymond: We're counting cards.

Iris: You're counting cards?

Raymond: We're counting cards.

Iris: That's interesting.

Raymond: We're counting cards.

Iris: I know you're counting cards, what else are you doing?

Raymond: Are you taking any prescription medication?

Raymond: Definitely not.

Susanna: But we an watch TV here, we're allowed.

[Turns on Wheel of Fortune]

Raymond: Wheel Of Fortune. Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise. Fabulous and exciting bonus prizes. Thousands of dollars in cash. Over $150,000 just waiting to be won as we present our big bonanza of cash on Wheel Of Fortune.

Raymond: 12:30 is lunch.

Charlie: What do you want?

Raymond: Wednesday is fish sticks. Green lime jello for dessert.

Charlie: You want another apple juice?

Raymond: No, orange soda. Uh oh, it's 12:31.

[after Susanna kisses Raymond]

Susanna: How was that?

Raymond: Wet.

[Raymond blows their ruse to get into a farmhouse to watch The People's Court]

Charlie: That's it. You blew it. You don't get to see your program. Finished.

Raymond: One minute to Wapner.

Charlie: Yes, one minute to Wapner. I had you in there, Ray! You were in there! The defendant, the plaintiff, you had it all. They are in there making legal history. *Legal history!*

[Raymond is afraid of riding in a car on the freeway]

Charlie: Hey Ray, I got a great idea. Stay in front of the car until we get off the exit, you'll get in and we'll take a not so dangerous road, whatever that might me. Is that an idea?

Raymond: Yeah.

Charlie: Give me five, that's a great idea. Give me five.

[Raymond doesn't comply so Charlie jogs back to the car]

Charlie: This guy's a fucking fruit cake.

[In a phone booth]

Raymond: It's definitely very small in here.

[Tries to leave]

Charlie: Small, and safe. Don't wanna miss the party. You know that, there's a party in your honor Ray. When we get to LA, there'll be a little custody hearing. Lawyers are setting it up right now. Know why there's a party for you? Because you're the $3,000,000 man.

[repeated line]

Raymond: We have to go to K-Mart.

Raymond: Have you taken any prescription medication?

[last lines]

Raymond: Throw that junk in.

Mr. Bernstein: Sentimental fellow, aren't you?

Raymond: Hmmm... yes and no.

Chaz: Besides, I never mess up a kid's head, especially when his mom's in the shop.

Honey: [Chuckles] He's eight. That would have made me 14. I'm not that kind of girl.

Chaz: My bad.

Honey: We just peoples.

Raymond: Yeah, we peoples.

Chaz: You peoples? Playa, playa, how'd you swing that? I've been tryin' to be her peoples for weeks. Ain't had no luck.

Raymond: I got flow.

[All laughing]

Chaz: I got flow too. You don't think I got some flow?

Raymond: Maybe not as much as me.

Raymond: Here is to being the only one.

Raymond: I've learned my lesson about mixing in other worlds. I've seen the sparks fly. All kinds.

Raymond: I fucking hate this job, but it's my job. D'ya understand?

Hallam Foe: [nods]

Raymond: I killed a man once. Smashed his skull on a pier. Just so ya know.

Raymond: [barely playing along as if they were strangers] So, what line of work are you in, Miss Evans?

Nora: Oh please, call me Nora.

Raymond: Nora. Nora, Nora...

Nora: I'm a brain surgeon, mainly. How 'bout you?

Raymond: I'm a grave digger myself. Um, digging my own as we speak. Rapidly.

Nora: Well that makes two things you do quick.

Raymond: This is her underwear, I could make you eat them!