Raul Hernandez Quotes in UHF (1989)

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Raul Hernandez Quotes:

  • Raul Hernandez: Hey, man! This is Raul Hernandez and welcome to "Raul's Wild Kingdom" coming to you live from My Apartment! How 'bout that, huh? Okay. The first thing we're gonna do today is check out the wonderful world of turtles. This is my friend, Tommy. Tommy, say hello to the nice people. 'Hello!' Ha! Isn't he great? Okay, so... the turtle is a member of the Reptile family and he's got this hard, protective shell, which keeps predators away... also provides him with his own home when he sleeps. Oh, and he's got these tiny, teeny little legs which makes him move real slow. Not too many people know this, but the turtle is also Nature's suction cup. Watch this.

    [licks underside of turtle and tosses it up towards the ceiling. Off camera it makes a loud plop sound]

    Raul Hernandez: Did you see that? It sticks! Ha! Okay, yeah... what else I got for you? Yeah, check this out! This is my ant farm. Now ants are amazing. They can carry 50 times their own weight and they work for weeks and weeks building these intricate little tunnels. And oh yeah... they hate it when you do this...

    [picks up ant farm and shakes it vigorously up and down]

    Raul Hernandez: Oh look! They're really mad, now.

    George Newman: [watching Raul on TV with Bob] Where did you find this guy?

    Bob Steckler: Me? I thought you hired him.

    Raul Hernandez: For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly.

    [claps his hands]

    Raul Hernandez: Come here... come here, Foofy. Ah, Foofy. Are you psyched? Are you ready? Okay... Here we go. Get ready. And... FLY!

    [tosses poodle out of the apartment window. Poodle barks all the way down and hits with a loud thump]

    Raul Hernandez: Oh, man... You know, sometimes it takes them a little longer to learn how to do it right. Okay, come on. Come on. Cheer up. Cheer up. Eh, eh, eh. Who's next? Ah, Gigi!

    [tosses black poodle out of the window which barks all the way down and hits with another loud thud]

    Raul Hernandez: Ah, man!

  • Animal Deliveryman: Raul Hernandez?

    Raul Hernandez: Yeah.

    Animal Deliveryman: Got the delivery here for your next show.

    Raul Hernandez: Oh great. What you got?

    Animal Deliveryman: Let's see, I got one aardvark, one flamingo, four porcupines, two armadillos, three badgers...

    Raul Hernandez: Badgers?... Badgers?... We don't NEED no stinking Badgers!

Browse more character quotes from UHF (1989)

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