Randy Daytona Quotes in Balls of Fury (2007)

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: I'm from the FBI.

Randy Daytona: Whoa man. I didn't mean to kill that guy. How was I supposed to know he had a bad heart?

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: Hey. I'm not here for that. I thought that was part of the act. Until the paramedics came I was laughing my ass off.

Randy Daytona: [as The Hammer keeps making weird hand gestures] I don't know what the hell he's talking about.

Agent Ernie Rodriquez: I'm still trying to figure out if it's a dude or a chick.

Karl Wolfschtagg: Daytona, I have said some cruel things about you. To my friends here at the tournament, I tell them that the reason that you hate me so much, is because I had sex with your mother.

Randy Daytona: My mother died when I was two. I hardly knew her.

Karl Wolfschtagg: Yeah I know it's a horrible thing to say. And yet these things that I say over and over again... I do not mean them. Because in truth, you are the greatest player I have ever scene. Other than myself, practicing in front of a mirror. Which I do... everyday... in the nude. I'm sorry for you, that your papa is not here to see you. I think he would be very proud of you.

Randy Daytona: Yeah.

Karl Wolfschtagg: So proud of you, that he would probably bet the money on you again. I could use the cash! Haha. Tell your dead parents I said "What's Up?"

Randy Daytona: Never hug a man with a million bucks worth of hardware up his crack. Whew!

Randy Daytona: [sees a man standing up] Hey, a volunteer! How you doing buddy?

[takes his ping pong ball and paddle and starts bouncing the ball of the guy's face]

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [as Randy is bouncing the ball of his face] I was just going for more Cheese 'n Mac.

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [Randy keeps bouncing the ball of his face and then his stomach. The guy trys to protect himself with his plate but can't] Stop!

Randy Daytona: [finally catches the ball] Hoooooooeeeeeee! A-thank you!

Cheese'N'Mac Guy: [collapses from a heart attack]