Randall ("R") Quotes in My First Mister (2001)

Randall ("R"): I'm forty-nine years old.

Jennifer ("J"): I'm seventeen. Nice to meet you.

Randall ("R"): I'm old, I'm George Burns.

Jennifer ("J"): Who's George Burns?

Randall ("R"): I'm Uncle Fester, I'm Andy of Mayberry, I'm Mr. Roper, I'm Grandpa Munster.

Jennifer ("J"): Okay, okay, I get it.

Randall ("R"): You're the good stuff.

Randall ("R"): Listen to me very carefully. I am not getting a fucking tattoo.

Jennifer ("J"): Oooh, you said the really bad word.

Randall ("R"): Yeah, I did. I am in fact the boy who cried fuck.

Randall ("R"): [on his deathbead] I want you to go to college. It's really important, okay?

Randy Harris, Jr.: Did you?

Randall ("R"): Yes.

Randy Harris, Jr.: What did you learn?

Randall ("R"): Give me a second, I'll think of it.

Randall ("R"): [after refusing J's offer to buy him a cup of coffee] Actually it's almost nine o'clock.

Jennifer ("J"): Right, so?

Randall ("R"): Well, I'm usually home by nine.

Jennifer ("J"): What happens at nine?

Randall ("R"): I turn into the same person I am.

Randall ("R"): What's he like?

Jennifer ("J"): Oh, he's kinda like you.

Randall ("R"): He's an asshole?

Jennifer ("J"): Oh worse than that. He's a pathetic loser asshole.

Randall ("R"): That's my boy. So you *like* him.

Jennifer ("J"): Nooo. Are you mental?

Randall ("R"): Totally. I've gotten down with it. I've boogied.

Jennifer ("J"): OK Shaft.

Randall ("R"): It's just one of those small but enormous things.