Randall Quotes in The Gene Generation (2007)

Randall: You've pissed me off too many times, Jackie. So now I'm gonna piss on you.

[He begins to urinate on Jackie]

Randall: [to Jackie] You've got three days. Any later, and I swear to God, you'll be my bitch, licking the shit out of my ass, until you choke on it, before you die.

Randall: [Finding out that he caught Mike instead of Boo] Wazowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?

Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.

Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?

Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.

[a Handle Bar is placed down preventing Mike from leaving, and his hands get cuffed on]

Randall: I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working of me. First I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.

Randall: Cheating? Right. Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?

Mike: Ah, I get a time-out?

Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means: the scare floor will be...?

Mike: ...Painted?

Randall: EMPTY! It'll be empty, you idiot! You see that clock? When the big hand is pointing up...

[forces Mike's arm up]

Randall: and the little hand is pointing up...

[forces the other arm up]

Randall: the kid's door will be in my station. But when the big hand points down...

[forces Mike's arm down]

Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?

Mike: [as the Scream Extractor approaches] What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.

[the Scream Extractor comes to a stop, pointing itself directly at Mike]

Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.

Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!

Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car.

Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

[Sulley Grabs Fungus from above, Mike looks up overjoyed. In the Next Scene, Randall gets the Scream Extractor working again, only to find Fungus where Mike should be]

Randall: What are you doing? Where's Wazowski?

[Randall turns off the machine as Fungus, now turned white and pale from the Scream Extractor, weakly points out to him]

[Randall cuffs Boo onto the chair at the Scream Extractor, preparing to extract her screams to impress Waternoose]

Henry J. Waternoose: Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.

Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.

Henry J. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!

Randall: Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.

[Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it]

Mike: Someone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!

[they bump into an Invisible Randall]

Randall: [Turning Visible again] What are you two doing?

Monster: They're rehearsing a play.

Mike: [singing] She's out of our hair...!

Randall: [materializes in front of Mike's locker] WAZOWSKI!

[Mike falls from the chair]

Randall: Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.

Mike: I wasn't scared, I have allergies

Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win.

Randall: I plan to.

Randall: So, how about this kid getting loose? Crazy, huh?

Sulley: Uh, yeah, crazy.

Randall: Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?

Sulley: Uh, no, uh...

Mike: No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.

Randall: Waxford?

Mike: Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.

Randall: Hey, Waxford!

Randall: [to Sulley, hanging on from a door] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!

[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]

Randall: You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.

[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]

Boo: Roar! Roar!

Sulley: She's not scared of you any more.

Boo: Roar!

Sulley: Looks like you're out of a job.

[after Randall makes one of his Scares while trying to take the Lead past Sulley]

Fungus: Randall?

Randall: What?

Fungus: [Points at the Leaderboard] Look!

[Randall has scored enough points to overtake Sulley and take the lead on the Leaderboard]

Celia: [Over PA] Attention everyone! We have a New Scare Leader. Randall Boggs.

[a Huge Crowd forms around an overjoyed Randall to Congratulate him, only the Sulley to overtake him and once again be at the top not long later]

Celia: [Over PA] Nevermind.

[the crowd leaves, leaving Randall to continue being frustrated]

Randall: I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.

Randall: [to Fungus, as he's still not at the top on the Leader board] If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.

Henry J. Waternoose: [In the Distance] Finish him off!

[Randall whilst invisible hits Sulley with a Scream Canister, knocking him down, which terrifies Boo who hides out of the way in the corner]

Randall: You don't know how long I've waited to do that Sullivan!

Supreme Being: I should do something very extroverted and vengeful to you. Honestly, I'm too tired. So, I think I'll transfer you to the undergrowth department, brackens, more shrubs, that sort of thing... with a 19% cut in salary, backdated to the beginning of time.

Randall: Oh, thank you, sir.

Supreme Being: Yes, well, I am the nice one.

Randall: We made trees and shrubs. We helped make all this.

Kevin: Whew! That's not bad.

Randall: Yeah. But did we get a thimble full of credit for it? No! All we got was the sack. Just for creating the Pink Bunkadoo.

Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?

Randall: Yeah. Beautiful trees that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

Robin Hood: The poor are going to be absolutely thrilled. Have you met them at all?

Randall: Who?

Robin Hood: The poor.

Randall: The poor?

Robin Hood: Oh you must meet them. I'm sure you'll like them. Of course they haven't got two pennies to rub together but that's because they're poor.

[the gang is confronted by Kevin, who they think is the Supreme Being]

Randall: Heh heh. We can explain everything, sir. It's not as bad as it looks. We... We just borrows the map and... Sort of got rather happy about it and... Ran off in high spirits.

[They laugh]

Kevin: Who are you?

Strutter: That's not Him.

Fidgit: That didn't sound like Him, did it?

Wally: It doesn't even look like Him!

Strutter: It isn't him!

Randall: Let's get him!

[They all pounce on Kevin]

Randall: Strutter, get his torch! Shine it right in the face.

[Strutter shines the torch full in Randall's face]

Randall: His face, dummy!

Randall: Well, this map, Kevin, used to belong to the Supreme Being.

Kevin: You mean you stole it?

Randall: No, no. Well, sort of.

Kevin: I'll never get the chance to meet Robin Hood again.

Randall: Oh, stop moaning. He's obviously a dangerous man, unbalanced if you ask me. Giving away what isn't even his!

Kevin: That's what Robin Hood always did. Even I know that.

Randall: Of course, you know it all.

Kevin: He was one of my heroes.

Randall: Heroes! Heroes! What do they know about a day's work?

Randall: People who are always right make me sick!

Fidgit: That's why you get along with yourself so well!

Randall: Waiter, more champagne!

Waiter: Yes, sir.

Randall: And plenty of ice.

[followed immediately by the Titanic striking the iceberg]

Kevin: Is it always like this after you've done a raid?

Fidgit: I don't know. We've never done one before.

[Long pause]

Kevin: But I thought you were international criminals.

Randall: Going to be. Going to be.

Kevin: Who was that man?

Fidgit: That was no man. That was the Supreme Being.

Kevin: You mean God?

Fidgit: Well, we don't know Him that well. We only work for Him.

Randall: Shut up!

Kevin: What are we going to do here?

Wally: A robbery.

Kevin: A robbery?

Fidgit: Of course. We're international criminals. We do robberies!

Randall: Shut up!

[referring to an ancient Greek king]

Kevin: The money wasn't important to him.

Randall: He didn't have anything to spend it on, did he? Stuck out in Greece. Lowest standard of living in Europe.

Randall: [Kevin and the Time Bandits, booby-trapped and hanging upside down from a tree, are confronted by outlaws] Just leave it to me, Wally. You've just gotta treat them right, that's all. Waddaya want, you tatty-faced old scumbag?

Marion: What's your business, codfish?

Randall: Robbers!

Marion: Villainous robbers?

Randall: The worst!

Marion: Stop at nothing?

Randall: Nothing at all!

Marion: Steal the cup out' a beggar's hands?

Randall: Rather!

Marion: Teeth from blind old ladies?

Randall: Of course!

Marion: Toys from children?

Randall: Whenever we can!

Marion: Grrrrrrrr!

Randall: Arrrrrrrrrr!

Marion: Right! Cut them down!

Randall: They always crack in the end.

Randall: [On the deck of the Titanic] I've got something to say to you, Kevin.

Kevin: Go away.

Randall: It's about the map.

Kevin: The map? I don't understand you, Randall, you've got something really brilliant like that and you're just wasting it.

Randall: I wouldn't call this exactly "wasting it".

[sips champagne]

Randall: I told you, stick with me and you won't go far wrong.

Strutter: [slaps Kevin] Get down, you nearly got us caught!

Randall: You silly fool, you could've ruined everything.

Kevin: Do you know where we are?

Randall: Shut up. Of course I do. 1796, Battle of Castiglione, see?

Strutter: [taps him] You sure we're not in somebody's bedroom?

Randall: Look,

[grabs Strutter]

Randall: do you want to be leader of this gang?

Strutter: No, we agreed: No leader!

Randall: Right. So shut up and do as I say.

[Strutter nods]

Fidgit: You're gonna get us all killed, Randall!

Randall: Stop whimpering! How was I to know we were gonna run right into an iceberg? It didn't say 'Get off before the iceberg' on the ticket!

Kevin: Do you know where we are?

Randall: Of course I do. 1796, Battle of Castiglione. See?

Strutter: Are you sure we're not in somebody's bedroom?

Fidgit: We should've stayed home making trees.

Randall: Oh shut up.

Fidgit: How could we have been so stupid?

Og: I don't know.

Robin Hood: [Seeing the Bandits' haul] Crikey! I've been in robbing for years but I've never seen anything like this. Well, what can I say? Thank you. Thank you all very much indeed.

Randall: Oh don't men - What?

Randall: You see, to be quite frank, Kevin, the fabric of the universe is far from perfect. It was a bit of botched job, you see. We only had seven days to make it. And that's where this comes in. This is the only map of all the holes. Well, why repair them? Why not use them to get stinking rich?

Randall: I hope the next time we find each other is in heaven.

Randall: Welcome back.

Jack Doheny: Just passing through. I don't have a lot of time to waste.

Randall: I had no choice. After you went down, the feds were watching me like a hawk. I couldn't go down like that. I had a family to take care of.

Jack Doheny: What about me, I didn't have a family? Twenty five years I did, twenty five years. You don't call, you don't write, you don't do shit. We're friends? I swear I would kill you if given a chance.

Randall: Can I borrow your car?

Tom: Yea man, you know, just leave the keys on the tire and don't get any blood on the back seat.

Randall: I wouldn't dream of it. I want this to be special, you know, like in the middle of the woods up against a tree.

Regina: You're a pig.

Randall: You're a dyke.

Regina: Die a violent death.

Randall: Tom, who's your new boyfriend?

Tom: You'll have to excuse Randall here. He doesn't know the difference between a roommate and a cellmate. Everybody, this is Owen. Owen this is everybody.

Randall: That means, if I may, that if you upon some nasty pictures of the victim on the internet don't forward them to the whole school.

Rich Walker: A resounding no to sensitivity and respect from Mr. Hodge.

Randall: Just because you're Tom's new bunk buddy doesn't mean you have to be his bitch.

Randall: She stuck me in the eyes! I can hardly see!

Elaine: Are you BLINDED, Randall?

Randall: We are going into that living room, and we're gonna find that safe. Now, today ain't gonna be a total loss. We are going in there and LOOK!

Elaine: OK, let us go LOOK.

Elaine: Are you blinded, Randall?

Randall: No I ain't BLINDED, Randall! What do you think I am that old wino?

Mrs. Hilyard: He who unleashes the terror, reaps the terror!

Mrs. Hilyard: I am a human being. A feeling, thinking, human being.

Randall: [mocking] Okay. I am *all* animal. Sure beats the hell outta being an inmate...

Mrs. Hilyard: [shudders] ... inmate?... Asylum?

Randall: [to George] We're gonna kill you, pop. All of you. You... and the pig. And the human being.

[above, Mrs. Hilyard screams]

Ben: You and the DEI can give people whatever score you want. But we make the mistakes. We should be allowed to take risks... and fail... and love without a score to consider...

Randall: The system simply exists to minimize risks and potential emotional damage between couples.

Ben: That's too bad - you guys - try to make love easier. But you're missing the whole point. It's not supposed to be - - easy. It's supposed to test you. Break you down and hurt like hell. And who you choose to go through that with - that's whats really important.

Randall: Mr. Bradley, you will most likely find love with someone else, so don't worry.

Scott Bradley: Thankyou

Randall: You're welcome.

[Now looks towards Clint]

Randall: Mr. Fisher, that's a nice jacket.

Randall: I was taken prisoner while on patrol, sir, and held up in Big Eagle's camp. Just before dawn this morning, Inspector Montague was brought in. I was released to give you a message.

Supt. Andrew Standing: Go on.

Randall: Big Eagle demands that the railroad leave his territory within the next two days, or Inspector Montague will not be released and the hostilities will be reopened.

Vicky Standing: What are you going to do, Father? You must send some word.

Supt. Andrew Standing: There's only one answer to such a demand. Refusal.

Randall: [after Kyle changes seat] I DO MIND THAT YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH TO ADMIT YOU DON'T LOVE ME!

Junior, aka 'Smooth': [bus Passengers react] Great, we goin' to the million man march with a bunch of homos.

Jeremiah: The bible says homosexuality is an abomination, but still I ask myself what would I do if my son was gay or worse, what would I do if I was the one born that way.

Flip: Tell me I didn't just here what I think I did

Xavier: What?

Flip: He just said "You're not man enough to admit you don't love me to him"

Xavier: So?

Flip: There's faggots on the bus!

Xavier: So what, do gays not have a role in the black community?

Flip: I'm not talking about the black community, I'm talking about the pair of faggots we have on the bus!

Randall: My favorite book is OK Magazine.

[O.C. and Stiggs are at Lenora Schwab's wedding and are fooling with the Uzi they gave as a present.]

Randall: Hey, whatcha got?

Stiggs: Randall, how would you like to have more fun than you've ever had in your life?

Randall: I don't know. I've had a lot of fun. I have Legos, you know.