Rance Muhammitz Quotes in 200 Motels (1971)

Rance Muhammitz: [as a TV show host, holding a microphone] Hi Larry, its good to have you back on our panel!

Larry The Dwarf: [holding a magic lamp] Hi Dave, its really great to be back on your panel!

Rance Muhammitz: I'm sure the people at home would be interested to know why such a large force as you is all dressed up like Frank Zappa. Tell us Larry, whats the deal?

Larry The Dwarf: He made me do it, Dave. He's such a creep. He's making me hold this aladdin.

Rance Muhammitz: And why is he making you do that, Larry?

Larry The Dwarf: He wants me to fuck the girl with the harp.

[Keith Moon as the nun peers out from behind the harp grinning]

Rance Muhammitz: He wants you to fuck the girl... with the harp?

Larry The Dwarf: NO, no! With the magic lamp! He wants me to stuff it up her and rub it.

[chuckles maniacally, host stares at him]

Rance Muhammitz: Let us ask our studio audience: if you had just been lowered down here on TV with a wire connected to a brown leather harness, forced by crazy person to insert a mysterious imported lamp in the rep-rep-rep

[has trouble pronouncing word with thick German accent]

Rance Muhammitz: into the, into the RE-productive orifice of a lady harpist, and you were a dwarf... would you do it?

Larry The Dwarf: YES!