R.K. Maroon Quotes in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon]

Eddie Valiant: What's up, Doc?

R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack.

R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will?

Eddie Valiant: Sure. I got the will. Question is, do you have the way? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap.

R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.

R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?

Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?

R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.

R.K. Maroon: [Ducking under the curtains] Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? It's just Dumbo.

Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is.

[Maroon opens the window]

R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney - him and half the cast of Fantasia. The best part is, they work for peanuts.

[Throws peanuts to Dumbo, who flies off]

R.K. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down.

Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames?

[Angrily grabbing Eddie by the lapels]

Roger Rabbit: Jessica's the only one for me. You'll see. We'll rise above this piddling pecadillo. We're gonna be happy again. You got that? Happy. Capital H-A-P-P-I.

[Runs through window]

Eddie Valiant: At least he took it well.

[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job]

Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty?

R.K. Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job.

Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.

R.K. Maroon: [Being Interrogated by Eddie, to make him talk] What are you gonna do to me, Valiant?

Eddie Valiant: I'm gonna listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm gonna edit out.

R.K. Maroon: You got it all wrong, Valiant. I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer.

Eddie Valiant: Everybody's gotta have a hobby.

Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown.

R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.

Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.

R.K. Maroon: [Pulls a gun on Eddie] Let me see that will.

Eddie Valiant: I told you, I got it.

R.K. Maroon: I wanna see it now!

[Grabs the will from Eddie's coat and reads it]

R.K. Maroon: "How do I love thee, let me count the ways"? Is this supposed to be a joke?

Eddie Valiant: No, this is.

[Squirts seltzer on Maroon, then punches him]

Eddie Valiant: The job will cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses.

R.K. Maroon: A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous!

Eddie Valiant: So's the job.

R.K. Maroon: [Eddie has him with his tie caught in the Movieola, and is threathening to strangle him unless he tells him about Cloverleaf's involvement in the Acme murder] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! The truth is, I had a chance to sell my studio. But Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property unless Acme sold them his. The stubborn bastard wouldn't sell, so I was going to blackmail him with pictures of him and the rabbit's wife. Blackmail, that's all! I've been around toons all my life! I didn't want to see them destroyed!

Eddie Valiant: Toons destroyed? Why?

R.K. Maroon: If I tell you, I'm a dead man.

Eddie Valiant: You're a dead man if you don't tell me.

R.K. Maroon: Unless Acme's will shows by midnight tonight, Toontown's gonna be land for the free...

[is shot in the back by someone outside the window]