Professor Dexter Stanley Quotes in Creepshow (1982)

Charlie Gereson: [Professor Stanley tells Charlie about the creature in the crate] Pretty far out, Professor Stanley...

Professor Dexter Stanley: It's true! It's true - I swear it's true! We got to get Campus Security...

Charlie Gereson: [Charlie cuts him off] Campus Security's no good! If I'm having trouble swallowing this one, what the fuck are THEY going to think?

Professor Dexter Stanley: [calming down] ... I don't know... what they'd think...

Charlie Gereson: They'd think you'd been off on a hell of a toot. No, they'd think we'd BOTH been off on a hell of a toot, and got to seeing Tasmanian devils instead of pink elephants.

Charlie Gereson: [Charlie decides to go downstairs to investigate] I think I'll just go down and see how the land lays...

Professor Dexter Stanley: [in a panic] It may be OUT!

Charlie Gereson: [complacent] Oh, I uh - I doubt that.

Professor Dexter Stanley: CHARLIE!

Charlie Gereson: Be right back, Professor Stanley!

Professor Dexter Stanley: Two people are dead, and I could be blamed. I know that's a terrible consideration to have at a time like this, but -

[Henry hands him a drink and he swallows it one gulp]

Henry Northrup: Last time I saw someone do that was in the movies!

Professor Dexter Stanley: It could mean my ass, Henry, it wasn't me! It was that - that thing in the crate! And I don't even know what it was!

[giggles hysterically]

Henry Northrup: What two people? Who is dead?

Professor Dexter Stanley: Mike the janitor at Amberson Hall, and Charlie Gereson. He wanted to measure the bite marks, Henry. I guess he got his chance!

[giggles]

Professor Dexter Stanley: I certainly guess he did!