Prisoner Quotes in Despicable Me 3 (2017)

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Prisoner Quotes:

  • [from TV Spot]

    Prisoner: [accidentally kicks a ball the the Minions, who take advantage of it] Hey, give that back!

    [Minions refuse and attack]

  • [from Trailer]

    Prisoner: [to a Minion after they all shower] We've been waiting a long time.

    Prisoner: [Minion whips him with towel] No, no!

  • [from TV Spot]

    [Minions come into prison room snapping fingers]

    Prisoner: Oh, no. Run!

  • [In the pit]

    Crowd: [chanting] Deshi basara! Deshi basara!

    Bruce Wayne: What does that mean?

    Prisoner: Rise.

  • Prisoner: Now, I am... I am what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! I get my orders from a higher source.

    Sgt. Reed: Shut up, asshole.

  • Grimm: [as Hennessey walks by] Good morning, ma'am.

    Hennessey: Good morning.

    Grimm: [to prisoner] There goes the baddest ass in the yard.

    Prisoner: Sounds like you're in love, homie.

    Grimm: I am.

  • [last lines]

    Pastor Abin Cooper: [preaching and singing in his jail cell]

    Prisoner: [from the next cell] Shut the fuck up!

  • [first lines]

    Prisoner: Might not be any of my business, but uh, JC's crew is headed this way to bump you. And they all got shanks.

    Isaiah Bone: I know.

  • [Rudy Duncan and Nick Cassidy in the prisoner cafeteria line receiving green jello]

    Nick Cassidy: What's this?

    Prisoner: Holiday jello.

    Nick Cassidy: What's this shit in it?

    Prisoner: Swallow it and you'll see.

    [gives a smirk]

    Nick Cassidy: Just so you know, this man and I are outta here in two days. So when we're inhaling London broil and lobster bisque, you'll still be standing hear smelling up the mystery cream fuck. Who's in prison now?

  • Prisoner: Yo, hippy, what kind of dude are you?

  • Lil: Get this to Johnny on the grapevine. Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the savoy theater tomorrow night. Got it?

    Polly the parrot: Got it.

    [flies away]

    Polly the parrot: [arrives at prison mess hall and lands on the shoulder of a prisoner] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater. Pass it on.

    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner sitting next to him] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater tonight. Pass it on.

    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner, "telephone" style] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's mother at the Savoy theater tonight. Pass it on.

    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner] Vermin's mother is going to kill Johnny tonight at the Savoy theater. Pass it on.

    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner]

    [unintelligible]

    Prisoner: ... at the Savoy. Pass it on.

    Prisoner: There's a message through the grapevine, Johnny.

    Johnny Dangerously: Yeah? What is it?

    Prisoner: Johnny and the Mothers are playing "Stompin' at the Savoy" in Vermont tonight.

    Johnny Dangerously: Vermin's going to kill my brother at the Savoy theater tonight.

    Prisoner: I didn't say that.

    Johnny Dangerously: No, but I know this grapevine.

  • Warden: Your turn, Johnny. The priest you've requested has arrived.

    Charley: [pretending to be a priest] Are you ready, my son?

    Johnny Dangerously: I'm ready if you are, father.

    Charley: Dominus vobiscum, Nabisco. Espiritu sanctu. They gasthebus.

    Prisoner: [hands Johnny a part of a tommy gun] So long, Johnny.

    Charley: We gasthebus. You gasthebus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.

    Prisoner: [hands Johnny another piece of the gun] Be brave, huh, Johnny.

    Charley: When's the next bus?

    Johnny Dangerously: [begins putting the gun together behind the wardens back] Always, Nails.

    Charley: Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too laude. Adeste fidelis.

    Prisoner: [gives Johnny another piece] Good luck, Johnny.

    Charley: Semper fidelis. High fidelis.

    Johnny Dangerously: [struggling to put it together] Why didn't I take shop?

    Charley: Post Meridian. Ante Meridian. Uncle Meridian. All the little Meridians.

    Prisoner: [adds another piece] Bye bye, Johnny.

    Johnny Dangerously: [adds piece to gun] Bye, Rock.

    Charley: The Magna Carta. MasterCharge it.

    Prisoner: [hands piece to Johnny] Spit in his eye, Johnny!

    Johnny Dangerously: [finishes putting the gun together] OK, rabbi.

    Charley: [opens his bible to reveal the guns clip] Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.

    Warden: Any last words, Johnny?

    [gun cocks]

    Warden: [turns to see Johnny pointing a tommy gun at him] Well said!

  • Prisoner: Johnny and the Mothers are playin' Stompin' At the Savoy in Vermont tonight.

  • King Neptune: You have confessed to the crime of touching the royal crown.

    Prisoner: Y-yes, but...

    King Neptune: BUT WHAT?

    Prisoner: B-but it's my job, your Highness. I'm the royal crown polisher!

    King Neptune: Well, I suppose I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is!

  • [from trailer]

    [the Muppets are sitting in jail]

    Warden: Are you, uh, the Muppets?

    Prisoner: [in the jail cell next to them] Hey! I'm a Muppet.

  • Halfdan the Black: Look, I'm not an unreasonable man, Thord Andersson, but this is the second chance that I've given you.

    Prisoner: But I'm a poor man, sir.

    Halfdan the Black: Yes, but it's not just me, you see. A lot of people depend on this money. I really can't give you a third chance, I'm so sorry.

    Halfdan the Black: [to his henchmen] Er, would you please behead him? Please?...

    Prisoner: Oh no! Take all my sheep, all of them.

    Halfdan the Black: Oh, that's a good idea. Take all his sheep.

  • Halfdan the Black: [to his henchmen] Er, just cut his hand off.

    Prisoner: Oh, Thank you my lord! Thank you a million thanks yous. You can cut them both off if you want! Thank you very much.

  • Prisoner: I don't want to hang. I don't want to die. Not yet. I'm only a boy. I'm only seventeen. You won't let them, will you? I only did what I was told. I never killed anybody. I never even went near the wrecks. So you can't hang me. You mustn't! You daren't! Because I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

  • Prisoner: [the guards are coming to their cell] Here they come! They'll pick one of us at random and beat him to a pulp! That's their idea of fun!

    François Perrin: [to Campana] What'd he day?

    Campana: [looks hard at Perrin] They'll beat one of us up.

    [he keeps staring at Perrin]

    François Perrin: [finally notices Campana staring at him] Why stare at me that way?

    [Campana shrugs]

  • Pippo Popolino: What time is it?

    Prisoner: About seventeen-fifty-eight.

  • Oskar Schindler: I kissed a Jewish Girl.

    Prisoner: Did your prick fall off?

    [laughs]

  • Prisoner: I know you, you're Degas. You're a very intelligent man!

    Dega: Thank you. I seem to be known in all the wrong places.

  • Nisus Wettus: [a line of prisoners files past a jailer]

    Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion?

    Prisoner: Yes.

    Nisus Wettus: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

    [Next prisoner]

    Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion?

    Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.

    Nisus Wettus: What?

    Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

    Nisus Wettus: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.

    Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.

    Nisus Wettus: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...

    Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

  • Prisoner: [handcuffed to a cop, watching a baldness treatment product TV commercial in the hospital waiting room] Losing your hair sucks.

    Paul Tannek: They say it comes from your mother.

    Prisoner: [aggressively] My mother's got hair, you know!

  • Dr. Squires: What're you in here for?

    Prisoner: I stabbed my wife in the pussy.

    Dr. Squires: Oh! Wow!

  • Schoolteacher: Now, what is a comet? You!

    Prisoner: A comet. A comet is a star with a tale on it.

    Schoolteacher: Right.

    [points to Stan]

    Schoolteacher: Name one.

    Stanley: Rin Tin Tin.

    Schoolteacher: D'oh!

  • Schoolteacher: We shall now have an intelligence test. Who was Columbus?

    Prisoner: The mayor of Ohio.

    Schoolteacher: [pause] What did he do?

    Insurgent Convict: He died.

    Schoolteacher: Well, of course he died. Who killed him?

    The Tiger: Cock Robin.

    Schoolteacher: Who said *that*?

    The Tiger: I did.

    Schoolteacher: [pause] Correct.

  • Warden Samuel Norton: [to new inmates, after explaining the prison routine] Any questions?

    Prisoner: When do we eat?

    Captain Hadley: [Approaches prisoner] You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker?

  • Captain Hadley: What the Christ is this happy horseshit?

    Prisoner: Hey, he took the Lord's name in vain! I'm tellin' the warden!

    Captain Hadley: You'll be tellin' the warden about my baton up your ass!

  • Red: [after lights out and the guards walk out of the main area]

    [Narrating]

    Red: I remember my first night, seems like a long time ago.

    Prisoner: Yoo-hoo. Big fish. Fish, fish, fish, fishie?

    [the others start talking quietly, trying to taunt the newcomers]

    Another Prisoner: Poke your ass out here! Give me a first look!

    Another Prisoner: Shhh. Keep it down.

    Red: [Narrating] The boys always go fishing with first-timers, and they don't stop until they reel one in.

    Heywood: [Quietly] Hey, fat ass. Fat ass. Talk to me boy.

    [Cut to a shot of him quietly sobbing]

    Heywood: I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. Now, don't you listen to these nit-wits, ya hear me? This place ain't so bad. Tell you what. I'll introduce you around. Make you feel right at home. I know a couple of big bull queers that would just love to make your acquaintance, especially that big white mushy butt of yours.

    Fat Ass: [Cracks] God! I don't belong here!

    Inmates: We have a winner! It's the fat guy!

    Fat Ass: I wanna go home!

    Heywood: [Announcing] And it's fat ass by a nose!

    [Starts the chant]

    Heywood: Fresh fish! Fresh fish!

    Inmates: [Chant and clap] Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish!

    Fat Ass: [Comes up to the bars] I don't belong here! I wanna go home! I want my momma!

    Prisoner: I had your mother! She wasn't that great!

    Captain Hadley: [Storms in with his guys] What the Christ is this happy horse shit?

    Another Prisoner: [as everyone quiets down] He took the Lord's name in vain. I'm telling the warden.

    Captain Hadley: You'll be telling him about my baton up your ass!

    Fat Ass: [as Hadley comes up to his cell] You gotta let me out! You gotta!

    Captain Hadley: What is your major malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?

    Fat Ass: Please! I ain't supposed to be here! Not me!

    Captain Hadley: [Not one ounce of sympathy] I ain't going to count to three! I'm not even going to count to one! You will shut the FUCK up, or I'll sing you a lullaby!

    Heywood: [Under his breath] Shut up, man. Shut up.

    Fat Ass: [Crying and pleading] Please! There's been a mistake! You don't understand! I'm not supposed to be here!

    Captain Hadley: [to his men] Open that cell!

    Prisoner: Me neither! You people run this place like a fuckin prison!

    Captain Hadley: [Once his cell door is open, he drags him out and beats him severely in the torso and head with his baton, then knocks him out with one last kick to his head]

    [to the rest of the inmates]

    Captain Hadley: If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night, I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary! Every last motherfucker in here!

    [Quietly to his men]

    Captain Hadley: Call the trustees to take that tub of shit down to the infirmary.

  • Prisoner: So you're the new chicken licker.

  • Luke: I can eat fifty eggs.

    Dragline: Nobody can eat fifty eggs.

    Society Red: You just said he could eat anything.

    Dragline: Did you ever eat fifty eggs?

    Luke: Nobody ever eat fifty eggs.

    Prisoner: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.

    Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.

    Loudmouth Steve: Yeah, but in how long?

    Luke: A hour.

    Society Red: Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.

  • [first lines]

    Prisoner: Take these handcuffs off!

  • Prisoner: Get a load of that outfit!

    Policeman: Hey, Steve, they're going to the boiler room.

    [to Tommy]

    Policeman: Not you. You're working here.

    [sends him to the Ice Room]

  • Susie: [Nan walks into San Quentin Prison] New fish! New fish!

    Prisoner Marie: New fish!

    Prisoner Jessie Jones: New fish!

    Mustard: New fish!

    Prisoner: New fish!

  • Prisoner: Do you sing tenor?

    Thunderbolt Jim Lang: Who me? I kill tenors.

  • Court Doctor: [repeatedly] Can you hear me? Can you see me?

    Prisoner: Yes, sir.

    Court Doctor: OK for work.

    Court Doctor: [arriving at Tyrone's place in the line] Can you hear me? Can you see me?

    Tyrone: [nods, whispering] Yes.

    Prison Guard: [hits Tyrone in the face] Say "sir!" God damn New York dope fiend niggers. Learn some manners!

    Court Doctor: Can you hear me? Can you see me?

    Tyrone: [insulted] Yes, sir.

    Court Doctor: OK for work.

    [moving to Harry]

    Court Doctor: Can you hear me? Can you see me?

    Prison Guard: He says he's got something wrong with his arm.

    [the doctor grabs Harry's arm and exposes the wound, causing him to scream in pain]

    Court Doctor: I don't think he'll be puttin' any more dope in that arm.

    Prison Guard: Smells worse than he do.

    Court Doctor: Better get him over to the hospital. I don't expect he'll live out the week.

  • Prisoner: You bite your nails? Its a bad habit. People always tell you that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Bullshit its your hands, thats the sign of a gentleman.

  • Rev. Hoskins: Ah, the temptations of the flesh. I fought 'em my whole life through.

    Prisoner: Then how come you're in here

    [jail]

    Prisoner: , Reverend?

    Rev. Hoskins: Well, I said I fought 'em, I didn't say I fought 'em off. Sometimes I lost. But believe me, it takes a lot more to tempt a preacher than it does you stumblebums in here. When I lost, I lost big!

    Prisoner: Are you a real preacher, Reverend?

    Rev. Hoskins: Well now, let's look at it this way. I always had the urge to preach. And if you got the urge, you're halfway home.

    Prisoner: What kept you from getting all the way?

    Rev. Hoskins: My temptation was women.

  • Prisoner: [Inside a prison cell they share] You know, how they are supreme in their native world...

    Edmond: But when you put them here...

    Prisoner: We call them dogs... Or animals...

    Edmond: Yes.

    Prisoner: And we scorn them. We scorn them in our fear... But don't you think...

    Edmond: It very well could be.

    Prisoner: But on their native world... they are supreme.

    Edmond: I think that's very...

    Prisoner: And what we have done... is to disgrace ourselves.

    Edmond: We have.

    Prisoner: Because we did not treat them with respect.

  • Edmond: You think there's a hell?

    Prisoner: I don't know.

    Edmond: You think we're there?

  • [Doctor, visiting prisoners in hospital, hears they are listening to music by Beethoven]

    Doctor: Ah, Beethoven. He is a good German.

    Prisoner: [calls out from the background] Yes. He's dead.

  • Prisoner: So you're working for the Germans? A young Frenchman like you. Aren't you ashamed?

    Lucien Lacombe: I don't like people talking down to me.

  • Prisoner: Always uses top grade hemp, Schmidt does. He oils it so it slides read good. Snaps your neck like a dry twig.

  • Schmidt, the Hangman: You haff last request?

    Prisoner: Sure would like me a chaw of tobacco. Whats the matter, hangman; afraid I'll choke to death and you'll lose your hangin' fee?

    [Schmidt gives him a chew]

    Prisoner: Umm! Put it in my pocket

    [Schmidt complies and starts to put the hood over the prisoner's head]

    Prisoner: Umm! Umm!

    [spits out tobacco juice and then nods]

Browse more character quotes from Despicable Me 3 (2017)

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