Principal Gold Quotes in She's the Man (2006)

Principal Gold: [referring to Sebastian] He's probably halfway to China by now, I mean, he showed his "willis and doodleberries"...

Sebastian: Present!

Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.

Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.

Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.

Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?

Malcolm: No, sir, I...

Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...

Principal Gold: [interrupting the soccer game] I played soccer once... or was it chess?

Coach Dinklage: [after breaking up the fight on the soccer field] The rest of you! Get out there and play some real football... You bunch of girls!

Principal Gold: [trying to copy Coach Dinklage's authority and shout his speech through the megaphone] Alright the rest of you, get out there and play some real football like a bunch of girls!

Principal Gold: What is...? Oh... Getting to know the opposite sex are we? Male female dynamics, all that. Sexual tension... it's all part of the high school experience... Continue, continue, please. But keep it cleaned up. Abstinence is key, abstinence is the best way to not is to not.

Principal Gold: I'd like to say 'welcome'.

[singing]

Principal Gold: Welcome to, Illyria, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome... to Illyria.

[speaking again]

Principal Gold: I just wanted to say 'welcome'!

Principal Gold: [to Sebastian/Viola] Have a great apple and sandwich!

Principal Gold: There you go. Have a great apple and sandwich.