Porter Quotes in Payback (1999)

Pearl: [seductively] I've got a few minutes.

Porter: So go boil an egg.

Porter: [voiceover] Crooked cops. Do they come in any other way? If I'd been just a little dumber, I could have joined the force myself.

[Porter has just threatened to kill Carter while talking to Bronson on the phone]

Bronson: Are you threatening me?

Porter: I'm not threatening you, I'm threatening Carter.

Porter: [voiceover] Nobody likes a monkey on his back: I had three, and they were cramping my style. I was gonna' have to lighten the load.

[last lines]

Porter: We went for breakfast... in Canada. We made a deal; if she'd stop hookin', I'd stop shooting people.

[pause]

Porter: Maybe we were aiming high.

Porter: [voiceover] Not many people know what their life's worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That's what they took from me. And that's what I was going to get back.

Porter: Who makes the decisions?

Carter: Well, a committee would make the decision in this case...

Porter: One man... you go high enough you always come to one man... who?

Fairfax: What are you doing this for, man? Is it the principle of the thing?

Porter: Stop it, I'm getting misty.

[starts to walk out]

Porter: And tell him it's $70,000!

Fairfax: $70,000? Hell, my suits are worth more than that!

[after Porter shoots Val in the leg and puts a cigarette in his mouth]

Porter: You got a light?

Val Resnick: What?

Porter: You got a light?

Val Resnick: No.

Porter: Then what good are you?

[Porter shoots Resnick in the face]

Bronson: I'll get you your money, but you're never gonna' live to enjoy it.

Porter: You let me worry about that. Here's the deal: I want you to deliver the money yourself.

Bronson: You're one hell of an optimist. What in the world makes you think I'm gonna' deliver the money myself?

Porter: Well if you don't you'll never see little Johnny again... Didn't come home from the fight last night, did he? He's a good lookin' kid, but I think you indulge him too much. I told him so.

Bronson: Bullshit. You haven't got him. You wouldn't be that stupid.

Porter: My Dad never bought me a Ferrari. I had to steal my first one. Nice inscription on the keychain. A little sappy. Want me to read it?

Bronson: You're dead Porter. Nobody fucks with my family. You hear me? You're a dead man.

Porter: That's Johnny, Mr Bronson, unless you turn up with the money... Is that a yes?... What's a matter? Cat got your crotch? Hmmm? Some decisions are hard, Mr. Bronson.

Bronson: Where?

Porter: I'll let you know. I'll be in touch.

Bronson: [answering phone] What the hell's going on?

Porter: You were right not to trust me.

[Bomb, planted earlier by Bronson's Outfit, is triggered by answering the phone and explodes]

[Porter is asking Rosie about Resnick's whereabouts]

Rosie: How strong are you, Porter? Personally, I think you are the strongest man I have ever met. But I wonder if it's enough.

Porter: For what?

Rosie: If I know you, you want this Resnick guy for something he won't like.

Porter: Yeah, I'm gonna kill him.

Rosie: That's something he won't like.

Carter: There's something you want from me.

Porter: Val Resnick gave you a hundred and thirty thousand dollars...

Carter: He paid us. It was a debt.

Porter: Seventy thousand dollars of it is mine, and I want it back.

Carter: I'm sorry. Resnick told me, but I seem to have misplaced your name.

Porter: Porter.

Carter: Porter, right. I won't forget it again.

Homeless Man: [begging for change] Help a cripple! Help a homeless! Help a Vietnam vet walk again! Help a cripple! Thank you, sir! Help a Veitnam vet walk again! Help a cripple! Thank you, sir!

[Poter grabs all of the money out of the homeless man's hat. Homeless man stands and yells at Porter]

Homeless Man: Hey, what the fuck you doin!

Porter: [chokes the homeless man] Shut up, I cured ya'!

[first lines]

Porter: [voiceover] GSW: that's what the hospitals call it: gunshot wound. Doctor has to report it to the police. That makes it hard for guys in my line to get what I call, quality health care.

Porter: You said it: they're not going to stop until they bury us...

Rosie: So?...

Porter: So we bury them first.

[Porter's stolen card has been cancelled while he is dining in]

Waiter: Sir, your credit card has been rejected.

Porter: Impossible.

Waiter: Well, I tried it three times. Do you have any other form of payment?

Porter: Try it again.

[the waiter walks away, Porter grabs all his cash and leaves the restuarant]

Rosie: [calming her dog] He's the meanest damn dog that ever lived.

Porter: What's his name?

Rosie: Porter.

Val Resnick: Beauty of the Chows is that they won't go to the cops. They keep everything in house... and, they don't feel pain the way we do.

Porter: You notice anything about those guys, Val?

Val Resnick: They look nasty... probably all Kung Fu-motherfuckers. Why, did I miss something?

Porter: They weren't wearing their seatbelts.

Porter: [voiceover] You'd think after five months of lying on my back, I would have given up any idea of getting even, just be a nice guy and call it a day. Nice guys are fine: you have to have somebody to take advantage of... but they always finish last.

Rosie: Meet the nastiest damn dog who ever lived.

Porter: What's 'is name?

Rosie: "Porter". He took your job after you left. He's just as tough but he won't leave me.

[nuzzling the dog]

Rosie: Will you, baby?

Porter: [narrating, after watching his wife stumble home in a drugged state] Old habits die hard, I guess... if you don't kick 'em, they kick you. Ain't marriage grand?

[as soon as Porter enters Carter's office, he knocks out his two bodyguards, and takes one of their guns]

Carter: Bravo. Sit down.

[Porter does]

Carter: My compliments. They were two of my best.

Porter: No, they weren't. They lull too easily.

Pawnbroker: [after inspecting pile of valuable watches] I'll give you 900 for this.

Porter: [indicating gun hanging on wall rack] Let me see that Magnum.

[Pawnbroker takes watches, points to gun as if to ask "This one?"]

Porter: That's it.

[Pawnbroker hands him the gun, Porter proceeds to test it out with finesse]

Porter: 500 and the gun.

Pawnbroker: [pause] Uh... I'll need to see some ID.

Porter: Of course.

Barbara Barry: What's your name?

Porter: Rufus Washington Jackson Lee.

Barbara Barry: All by yourself?

Porter: Would you like me to unpack for you, ma'am?

P.L. Travers: Young man, if it is your ambition to handle ladies' garments, may I suggest you take employment in a launderette?

Conductor: [stopping Gandhi on the train in South Africa] What are you doing in here, coolie?

Gandhi: I reserved this car. I have a ticket.

Conductor: How did you get hold of it?

Gandhi: I sent for it by post. I am an attorney.

European Passenger: An attorney! There are no colored attorneys in South Africa - move your black ass into third class where it belongs!

Porter: I'll take your luggage, sir...

Gandhi: No, wait.

[he takes out his card and shows it]

Gandhi: You see? 'Mohandas K. Gandhi, Attorney at Law.' I am on my way to Pretoria to conduct a case...

European Passenger: Didn't you hear me? There are no colored attorneys in South Africa!

Gandhi: Sir, I was called to the bar in London, and enrolled in the High Court of Chancery. I am therefore an attorney. And since I am, in your eyes, 'colored,' I think we can deduce that there is at least one colored attorney in South Africa.

Ninotchka: Why should you carry other people's bags?

Porter: Well, that's my business, Madame.

Ninotchka: That's no business. That's social injustice.

Porter: That depends on the tip.

[the Wilson family arrives at the checkpoint]

Porter: Can I help you folks?

Alice Wilson, John Wilson: Oh, yes, thank you.

Porter: Aw, is that your dog, son?

[looking at Scraps, Jimmy's dog]

Jimmy Wilson: Yes, his name is Scraps, and he's going to the moon with us.

Porter: Oh no. No dogs are allowed in the shuttle son. I'm affraid Scraps will have to be shot.

[pulls out a gun, shoots the dog and the dog falls to the floor]

Jimmy Wilson: [shouts, bending towards his dog] Scraps! He shot him! He shot Scraps! He shot him!

Porter: Just joking. Blanks, see? Scraps is fine.

[Dog stands up]

Porter, Alice Wilson, John Wilson: [laughing]

Porter: That was a friend of ours that recently passed away.

John: Excuse me. It's two Russians are staying here. Do you know which floor they're on?

Porter: Yes, I know which floor they're on.

John: [takes a banknote out of his pocket and holds it] And which floor would that be?

Porter: [taking the banknote] We've only got one floor.

Porter: I understand that you were an intimate of Hemingway's.

Eugenie's Father: Intimate? Is that some kind of homo thing?

[Arriving at the RR Station]

S. Quentin Quale: Any of you boys got change ah ten cents?

Porter: No.

S. Quentin Quale: Well, keep the baggage.

Welch: Well, hello Kay! Here you are, here's a seat for you.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: The further I sit from you, Mr. Welch, the better I like it.

[to Porter]

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Take those bags into the next car, please.

Porter: Sorry, Miss. The train's full up today.

Welch: Here you are, Kay. Sit right down here.

[Kay drops train tickets, and Welch picks them up]

Welch: Two tickets to Niagara Falls, eh? How romantic. That's where honeymooners go. Oh, yes. Eddie Ellison gets out today. Say, you're not really gonna marry that guy, are you?

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Any objection?

Welch: Say, listen, kid. I like you. I want to give you a little friendly advice.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: [scoffs] Friendly advice. Well, that's good, coming from the fellow that caused Eddie's conviction.

Welch: Now take it easy, Kay. I'm telling you that I'm your friend. More than a friend.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: Yes, you tried to be more than a friend, ever since you had Eddie arrested.

Welch: Now, don't be that way. You're a nice girl, and you're about to make the mistake of your life.

Kay 'Funny Face' Ellison: That's my business.

Bill Cardew: What was the last thing anybody said?

Porter: Sumtin' about - sumtin'.

Leander: When the suitcase busted open, it just splattered money! Must've been $20,000 or $25,000. Maybe $30,000!

Porter: Mmmm-mmm! He must be one of those Wall Street typhoons!

Leander: From the way that money flew, he's the whole hurricane!

Porter: He is now

[points up]

Porter: in hell, or

[points down]

Porter: in heaven.

Porter: Wow, um... this place is disgusting.

Rags: Yeah, and sucking cock and eating ass makes you clean as shit.