Police Liaison Officer Quotes in Pineapple Express (2008)

Police Liaison Officer: Don't move; this shit hurts!

[holding a can of mace]

Police Liaison Officer: What's in your hand?

Dale Denton: It's weed, it's a joint, it's a roach. I thought it was decriminalized. To be honest with you, I have horrible anorexia and it helps my appetite. I'm so sorry.

Police Liaison Officer: Look, selling narcotics to my students is not decriminalized. I'm the liaison officer for this school. And guess what? I just saw three students walking from back here with their eyes as red as the devil's dick!

Dale Denton: Fuck!

Police Liaison Officer: You're busted!

Dale Denton: Those kids came up and they peer-pressured me; this is a horrible misunderstanding.

Dale Denton: [after explaining everything that's happened] Do you believe me?

Police Liaison Officer: I don't know. Give me a minute. It was a woman or a man cop?

Dale Denton: It was a policewoman. It was a woman.

Police Liaison Officer: Oh, I think I know who that bitch was.

Dale Denton: Yes, I will identify that bitch!

Police Liaison Officer: Oooh, big sexy with glasses!