Police Inspector Quotes in Shopping (1994)

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Police Inspector Quotes:

  • Billy: I know my rights. I watch L.A.Law.

    Police Inspector: Is that supposed to be funny?

    Billy: No, more like comedy-drama.

  • Police Inspector: This is the police! Lay down your knives and forks! You have all been eating the Prime Minister!

  • Prof. Norbert Catalan: That's no ordinary statue. It's priceless. The relic of a lost civilization.

    Police inspector: Lost?

    Prof. Norbert Catalan: The Malteks.

    Police inspector: What's the link?

    Prof. Norbert Catalan: It's clear.

    Police inspector: Fill me in.

    Prof. Norbert Catalan: An Amazonian people decimated by the barbarians.

    Police inspector: Barbarians?

    Prof. Norbert Catalan: Conquistadors, Europe, You, Me...

    Police inspector: Me? Hell's teeth!

  • Police Inspector: He is right next to me. If I kill him, how much will you give?

    Ali: Have you ever seen anybody give you 1 crore?

    Police Inspector: No

    Ali: I'll give you 5 crores. Kill him!

  • Police inspector: [as Francis and Michael learn they are partners] That's more like it. You two are partners now. Do you know how I managed to go from being a constable to a chief inspector?

    Francis Li: By kissing ass and telling tales?

    Police inspector: Don't say that loudly! Your father taught me to do that.

  • Police inspector: Someone points a gun at you, and piss in your pants! Now, the whole station knows about it!

    Francis Li: Don't shout! Even those who didn't know about it know now!

  • Police Inspector: I want to talk to you.

    NYPD Sergeant at Edwards ' Interrogation: [shouting at Edwards] Ten minutes - you take your best shot, tough guy!

    Police Inspector: Outside, now!

    James Edwards: Take ten minutes on a Stairmaster, you pudgy bastard!

  • Passport Officer: You ever heard of Division 6?

    Police Inspector: There is no Division 6. This is bullshit.

    Passport Officer: Yeah.

  • Police Inspector: We have a tough, ugly job to do and you're making it tougher and uglier for all of us.

    Barbara Graham: My heart bleeds for you. How can I help you Inspector, buy a few tickets to the policemen's ball?

  • Police Inspector: [as they're on their way to arrest Barbara Graham] A tramp, but smart. Good-looking girl, too - the kind that fools ya'.

    Edward S. 'Ed' Montgomery: Not me. I've seen angel pusses who'd shoot their own grandmothers in the back, and take bets on which way they'd fall.

  • Police Inspector: You're gonna die in that gear lads

    Omar: More than likely, but it's for a good cause

  • Police Inspector: So your daddy dances in front of you, does he?

    Nathan: Only when he's rehearsing.

  • Ringo: [arrested, at the police station] I demand to see my solicitor!

    Police Inspector: What's his name?

    Ringo: Well, if you're gonna get technical about it...

  • Grandfather: Well, you got me here so do your worst, but by God, I'll take one of you with me! I know your game. Get me into that tiled room and then out come the rubber hoses!

    Police Inspector: Oh, there's a fire, is there?

    Grandfather: You ugly, great brute. You have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser!

    Police Inspector: Eh?

    Grandfather: I'll go on hunger strike! I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle tap.

    Police Inspector: What's he on about?

    Grandfather: I'm a soldier for the Republic! You'll need the mahogany truncheons on this boyo.

  • [Grandfather and Ringo are held in a police station]

    Grandfather: Have they roughed you up yet?

    Ringo: What?

    Grandfather: Oh, they're a desperate crew of drippings, and they've fists like mature hams for pounding poor defenseless lads like you. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on, son, I'll be back here.

    Ringo: For me?

    Grandfather: And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket.

    Ringo: They seem all right to me.

    Grandfather: Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains.

    Police Inspector: Would you two like a cup of tea?

    Grandfather: See, *sly* villains.

  • Police Inspector: You IDIOT... that's a man!

    Labisse: That's not possible.

    Police Inspector: Oh yeah? Well when I walked in, the person in that room was naked from the waist down, and if that was a woman, then she was wearing the greatest disguise that I have ever seen.

  • Police Inspector: Say, which of the two women is this? Mrs. Trewitt?

    Ted Markham: [laughs] I'm afraid you're unlucky this time, Inspector. This is Handel Fane - a hundred per cent he-woman. Mr. Fane's our leading man.

    Handel Fane: [walking off stage in drag] I assure you, Inspector, I'm not the other woman in this case.

  • Police Inspector: Was he popular with the ladies?

    Doucie Markham: Who would that be, Stewart? He was a bit too popular if you ask me. Blazes, you could call her a lady!

    Ted Markham: Doucie, Doucie, remember, she's only just dead.

    Doucie Markham: All right, all right. I never heard yet that tellin' the truth was a disgrace.

  • Police Inspector: Money and women. The reasons for make most mistakes in life. Looks like you've mixed up both.

  • Police Inspector: [whispering] Doctors... Lawyers... never get past 60 thousand rupees. He's won 10 million.

    [pause]

    Police Inspector: What the hell can a slumdog possibly know?

    Jamal Malik: [quietly] The answers.

    [spits out blood]

    Jamal Malik: [quietly and gently] I knew the answers.

  • Police Inspector: Well, well. The Slumdog Barks.

  • Cecilia Tallis: My brother and I found the two of them down by the lake.

    Police Inspector: You didn't see anyone else?

    Cecilia Tallis: I wouldn't necessarily believe everything Briony tells you. She's rather fanciful.

  • [last lines]

    Police Inspector: [the police inspector questions Tony about the disappearance of a young boy and the apartment having a bad odor] What is that fucking smell?

    Tony: What?

    Police Inspector: There's a terrible smell in here. What is that?

    Tony: Oh, uh, drains. Council meant to send someone down to...

    Police Inspector: Drains? Council?

    Tony: Yeah.

    Police Inspector: You won't mind if I go and have a look around then, will you?

    Tony: What, the drains?

    Police Inspector: Yeah.

    Tony: No, I don't mind.

    Police Inspector: [as the police inspector begins to investigate the apartment, he receives a mobile call from a fellow officer] Reynolds? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't understand ya. Right. Where was he? I'll be there in a minute.

    [the police inspector leaves Tony's apartment as we see later that evening Tony dumping some bags into the ocean water]

  • Police Inspector: [charged with finding the tapes] This is a pretty cool caper. I wouldn't trust any of them.

Browse more character quotes from Shopping (1994)

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Characters on Shopping (1994)