Police Chief Aloysius Quotes in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)

Police Chief Aloysius: [to Captain Culpeper] It's no. The answer is no. He won't back any increase in pensions. He won't even talk about it. And there won't be any increase in pensions. And do you know why? Because they got a solid majority of both Republicans and Democrats who've agreed that if anything is said about pensions, they'll actually reduce your pension! Why? Because they know that you personally were more responsible than anybody else for closing down the houses. And could I do anything? Would he listen to me? Hah! All right. So you're an honest cop. And you've spent a lifetime being an honest cop. And you've got that, and that's all you've got! It's no good saying I'm sorry. I'm too angry and sick at my stomach to be sorry.

Police Chief Aloysius: [reaming the Mayor out over the phone] I have enough stuff in my private files, stuff relating to civic building, road contracts, harbor and cannery projects, enough stuff to put you, the D.A., myself, and a two-thirds majority behind bars for the next 20 years! And I give you my word, that's *exactly* where everybody's going, unless things start happening now!

The Mayor: Like what, for instance?

Police Chief Aloysius: I want the pension for Culpeper's grade trebled. Not doubled, trebled! I want Culpeper to retire with honor. I want it on paper that that's exactly what's going to happen. And I want it in my hands in fifteen minutes, or I'll have all the reporters in town in here in twenty!

[suddenly all sweetness and light]

Police Chief Aloysius: You know the word for this, Your Honor. It's called blackmail.