Police Captain Quotes in Ghostbusters (1984)

Dr. Peter Venkman: [steps in front of Peck] My friend, don't be a jerk!

Walter Peck: If he does that again, you can shoot him.

Police Captain: You do your job, pencil neck, don't tell me how to do mine!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Thank you, Officer.

Walter Peck: SHUT IT OFF!

Police Captain: Why help the U.S.?

Machete: 'Cause I'm the only that can.

Police Captain: You're always the sensitive one, Machete.

Mendez: Machete, this man is a dirty cop.

Police Captain: Shut your fucking mouth! Shut up, loco!

Mendez: You shouldn't have said that, amigo. Because if you call me loco, then I'm afraid loco is what you get!

Police Captain: I don't know how you expect me to give you a license when you don't even know your surname, your father's name, your mother's name, your place of birth! It means you don't exist!

Banana Joe: I'm standing here right in front of you that means I must exist...

[Learning that Lung is staying behind]

Ti Man: Kidding?

Broom Man: Kidding?

Ah Sing: Kidding?

All three: How come he gets to stay behind?

Police Captain: Because he is my wife's brother.

Nick Charles: [Bringing out a tray full of cocktails] Ammunition! Come on, stock up.

Male Yuletide Reveler: Let-let this one ride, mate.

Nick Charles: You better! Hard times might catch you.

Female Yuletide Reveler: Nick, who are these amazing people?

Nick Charles: Oh, just a lot of old friends. Romans! Countrymen! What do you say?

Police Captain: This is like old times, Nick. Remember when we used to have 'em when we were flat broke.

Nick Charles: Oh, don't I.

Police Captain: Those were the good old days.

Nick Charles: Don't kid yourself. These are the good old days.

Police Captain: The FBI fired Blue twice?

Sawyer: Fired him in 81, rehired him in 84, fired him again in 85.

Police Captain: Why?

Sawyer: Well, Captain, there's all sorts of rumors.

Det. Sgt. Halsey: Tell him what he did in between.

Police Captain: I'm gonna hate this aren't I?

Sawyer: CIA.

Police Captain: Perfect!

Sawyer: Until they got on the band wagon and fired him too.

Police Captain: Gentlemen, the city of Fort Lauderdale is once again under fire from the north. We've survived it before and I reckon we're gonna survive it again. To you newly installed officers on the force, I'd to give you a little rundown on what to expect. Expect anything. Anything and everything cause that's what you're gonna get. Now, Fort Lauderdale is not the only city to be invaded at this time. In Palm Springs and in Newport, from the beaches of the Mid Atlantic to the snows of Colorado, the students of America are gathering to celebrate the rites of spring. And, if you pardon a pun, you've got that right. They're our future voters, their citizens of our country, and they're our responsibility. But how the hell to handle them, that's a different manner.

[laughter from officers]

Police Captain: Now these kids didn't come down here to break the law. They'll break it for sure, but that's not their main objective. And remember that they are our guests. So, I want every man on the force to try his best, his level best, to try to avoid arresting anyone. I know that this going to take great will power but try. And, above all preserve your sense of humor. Cause you're gonna need it if you want to survive. And... God bless you all.

Police Captain: Wait a minute! Haven't I seen you in here before?

Lola Fandango: Just once, and it was purely by accident. The night my strap broke?

[she shows her very revealing top]

Police Captain: [over police radio] Car 19... Student in pajamas directing traffic.

Tuggle Carpenter: [points to TV's radio] What's that?

TV Thompson: Police calls! I like to keep track of my friends.

Police Captain: [over police radio] Car 9: Student swimming in the nude at Silver Beach.

Police Captain: [over police radio] Car 7: Go to Paradise Hotel. A live hammerhead shark has been placed in the pool.

Police Captain: [enters; angry tone] And just who's the lame-brain for making arrests on the college group plan?

Sgt. Benson: Wait til you hear this chief...

Police Captain: [cutting him off] Everyone's been calling the station! The mayor, the chamber of commerce, the newspapers... sounds like one of your bright ideas to get publicity for yourself, Benson!

Sgt. Benson: But sir, what happened was there was a disturbance and brawl at the Kit Kat Club and so...

Police Captain: [again cutting him off] Never mind! How many did you bring in from the raid?

Sgt. Benson: Forty-six arrests.

Police Captain: Forty-six? What are you doing? Competing with Sing-Sing?

Sgt. Benson: No, sir.

Police Captain: Next thing, you'll be arresting women.

Sgt. Benson: Twenty. They're all back there.

Police Captain: Oh, no! How many children?

Sgt. Benson: None.

Police Captain: [sarcastic] Oh, how did you miss out on that?

Police captain: [after The Bat has committed a daring crime under the noses of the police] Get me Detective Anderson! No cheap crook is going to make a monkey out of me and get away with it!

Police Captain: [answering phone that interrupted his conversation] This is not even my desk!

[hangs up]

Police Captain: [to Mills] What do you think?

David Mills: I'm in.

Mark Swarr: It has to be both of you.

William Somerset: If he were to claim insanity, this conversation is admissable. The fact that he's blackmailing us with his plea...

Mark Swarr: And my client reminds you, two more are dead. The press would have a field day if they found out the police didn't seem too concerned about finding them... giving them a proper burial

William Somerset: If there really are two more dead.

David Mills: How is it working for a scumbug like this? You proud of yourself?

Police Captain: Ease back, Mills.

Mark Swarr: I'm required by law to serve my clients to the best of my ability, and to serve their best interests.

William Somerset: May I speak freely?

Police Captain: We're all friends here.

William Somerset: This should not be his first assignment.

Police Captain: You're retiring, six more days and you're all the way gone.

[after the initial shootout that kills Gloansy and Dez]

Police Captain: I don't know if we're dealing with some kind of a fucking genius here, but security... Security is saying they got hit by cops.

Dino Ciampa: Cops?

Police Captain: Yeah. Two cops, they said.

[Frawley starts looking around, scanning uniformed cops]

Inspector Farraday: Are you Dixie Rose Blossom?

Dixie Rose Blossom: That's me bub.

Police Captain: We just wanted to make sure.

Horatio 'Boston Blackie' Black: They didn't recognize you without your bubble.

Heidi: No! No! You musn't take him away! He's telling the truth! He is my grandfather! My really and truly grandfather! Please! Please, let him go!

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Come on! Don't be hysterical!

Heidi: Grandfather!

Police Captain: We'll want you for the trial. Take your child home.

Heidi: I am not her child! She's a bad lady! She tried to sell me to gypsies! Please. Please, let the Grandfather take me home. He didn't mean to do anything bad. I'll work hard and pay back for everything he broke. So will Swanli and Bearli.

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Pay no attention to her. She'll be all right when I get her to bed.

Heidi: I won't go with her! She broke my snowstorm and sent my Aunt Dete away so she couldn't take me home to the mountains! If you don't believe me, just ask Herr Sesemann. He'll tell you the truth.

Police Captain: Herr Sesemann? What has Herr Sesemann to do with this?

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Heidi: He has, too. Aunt Dete brought be there to play with Klara, and I taught her how to walk.

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Oh, this is ridiculous.

Police Lieutenant: Now, just a minute.

Police Captain: Well now, lieutenant?

Police Lieutenant: Perhaps we'd better send for Herr Sesemann.

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Oh! Absurd! We... Well, we visited the Sesemann house tonight. Christmas, you know. My sister's governess there. It would be highly improper to disturb Herr Sesemann at this hour.

Police Lieutenant: I think you'd better wait until we hear what Herr Sesemann's got to say.

Heidi: Grandfather! Grandfather!

Police Captain: You broke out of the Rittenstrasse jail. You took a sled that did not belong to you. You stole that child!

Heidi: He didn't steal me!

Adolph Kramer, The Grandfather: I tell you, she's mine!

Police Captain: Silence!

Police Lieutenant: Herr Captain, we have found the woman.

Police Captain: Good, bring her in. Is this your child?

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Yes, yes, Herr Captain.

Heidi: No, I'm not!

Police Captain: And is this the man who struck you in the street and took her away from you?

Fräulein Rottenmeier: Yes.

Adolph Kramer, The Grandfather: She's lying! I don't know who she is or what she's doing, but Heidi is mine!

Police Captain: That's enough! You will be held for trial!

Adolph Kramer, The Grandfather: You stupid fools! Can't you see what you're doing?

Police Captain: Lock him up!

[the killer is crushed to death in a garbage truck]

Police Captain: He died a fitting end for the garbage he was.

Police Captain: Call the Fremonts, fast! And for Pete's sake, don't let them eat anything!

Police Captain: Ramses was the killer we've been looking for. Mrs. Fremont, I'm afraid this feast is evidence of murder!

Mrs. Dorothy Fremont: Oh dear! The guests will have to eat hamburgers for dinner tonight.