Po Quotes in Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)

Shifu: If you only do what you can do, you'll never be better than what you are.

Po: But I like who I am!

Shifu: You don't even know who you are!

Po: Who are you?

Li: I'm Li Shang. I'm looking for my son.

[everybody gasps]

Po: You lost your son?

Po: Yes. Many years ago.

Po: I lost my father.

Li: I'm very sorry.

Po: Thank you.

[pause]

Li: Well, good luck to you.

Po: You too. I hope you find your son.

Li: And I hope you find your father.

[they both walk off, everyone facepalms]

[from clip]

Kai: You must be the Dragon Warrior.

Po: And you must be Kai. Beast of vengeance, Maker of widows.

Kai: YES! Finally thank you. Almost makes me want to spare your life.

Po: Oh you want to spare me huh? How about you spare me the chit-chat alright let's do this.

Kai: I'm going to take your chi then the chi of every panda in the...

Po: Augh! chit-chat

Kai: In the...

Po: Chitty-chitty-chat-chat, chat-chat-chat!

Kai: In the...

Po: Chit-Chat!

[from trailer]

Po: Master Shifu? Good time, bad time?

Shifu: Time is an allusion, there is only the now.

Po: So now is a... good time?

Shifu: Oh!

Po: Justice is about to be served!

[at his dad's cafe]

Po: We'll have two Justice platters, please.

Po: Never under-estimate the impact of dramatic entrance!

[Po made a dramatic move to kick open the door, door suddenly opens, oops it's Shifu!]

Po: [Shifu has made a flower bloom with the power of chi] Woah! What was that?

Shifu: That was chi.

Po: Wow! What's chi?

Shifu: The energy that flows through *all* living things.

Po: So you're saying if I-so you're saying if I teach, I'll be able to do cool stuff like that?

Shifu: No, I'm saying if you teach, *I'll* be able to do cool stuff like that.

Po: Oh.

Shifu: Mastering chi requires mastery of self. Oogway sat alone in a cave for *thirty* years, asking one question: who am I? Who am I? I'm lucky if I get five minutes before you interrupt...

Po: Aw, so now I have to sit alone in a cave for thirty years?

Shifu: Eventually. After you master teaching.

Po: Teaching? There's no way I'm ever gonna be like you!

Shifu: I'm not trying to turn you into me; I'm trying to turn you into you.

Po: [Mr. Ping has stowed away in Po's travel bag] Dad?

Li: [thinks Po is talking to him] Yes?

Po: [sternly] Dad...

[opens the bag to find Mr. Ping inside]

Mr. Ping: Yes?

Po: What are you doing here?

Mr. Ping: What am I doing? Getting a backache! Did you have to step on every rock?

Po: No, I mean why are you here ?

Mr. Ping: What was I supposed to do, huh? What if the pandas don't have food you like? You're never gonna be able to save the world on an empty stomach. I consider my presence mission critical.

Li: Oh yes, about that. We can't share the location of the village with others. So...

Mr. Ping: Oh, you think I can't keep a secret, huh? I raised Po for twenty years before I finally told him he was adopted.

Li: Seriously?

Po: Yeah.

Li: OK, I guess it would be cruel to make you fly back.

Po: [amazed] You can fly?

Mr. Ping: I'm a bird, Po.

[sees Master Flying Rhino's armor]

Po: I think I just peed a little!

Po: [leaps into a fight] Enemies of justice, prepare for...

[sees he's leapt too far and is going over them]

Po: Are you kidding me?

[crashes]

Po: There's no way I can stop him!

Li: Unless you had an army of your own.

Po: You don't even know kung fu!

Li: Then you will teach us.

Li: You have to come home with me.

Po: What? To the secret village?

Li: Yes, son. You must rediscover what it is to be a panda. You have to learn how to live like a panda. Sleep like a panda. Eat like a panda. Those 103 dumplings? I was just warming up.

Po: I always knew I wasn't eating up to my full potential!

Shifu: You must take the next step on your journey, from warrior to teacher.

Po: But I'm no good at it!

Shifu: You're terrible at it!

[Li reveals a secret lift to the Panda Village]

Li: We're pandas! We don't do stairs!

Po: I have waited all my life to hear those words.

Po: [dueling Kai in the Spirit Realm] You want my chi so bad? Then take it.

[Po redirects his chi to Kai]

Kai: Yes, the power is *mine*!

[as the chi fills his body, he begins to glow and his jade amulets float away]

Kai: Wait, no. It's too much. That's too much. No!

[Kai vanishes in a burst of light]

Kai: NO!

Po: [Po is about to perform the Wuxi Finger hold on Kai] Sorry, buddy. Gotta send you back to the Spirit Realm. Skadoosh.

[flexes his pinky]

Po: OK, that didn't work. Let me try one more time. Skadoosh.

[flexes his pinky again, then over and over]

Po: Skadoosh, skadoosh, skadoosh. What the ?

Kai: Hold on, wait! It's working. No! No!

[pretends to gag, then chortles]

Kai: No, it's not. Did Oogway teach you that little trick? Too bad it only works on mortals. And *I* am a Spirit Warrior.

Kai: Who are you?

Po: I've been asking myself that question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? I'm all of those things.

[Po's chi forms the shape of a dragon around him]

Po: I am the Dragon Warrior! Get it? You see the giant dragon?

Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.

Oogway: Quit, don't quit... Noodles, don't noodles... You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing!

Po: Huh?

Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.

Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?

Mr. Ping: Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.

[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it]

Po: There is no secret ingredient...

Po: The Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Po: [checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung] Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?

Shifu: [coughs] Po. You're alive!... Or we're both dead.

Po: No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung!

Shifu: You did?

[Po nods and smiles]

Shifu: Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.

[slowly lays his head back down, seemingly dead]

Po: No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!

Shifu: I'm not dying, you idiot!

[he catches himself]

Shifu: Ah, Dragon Warrior. I am simply at peace.

[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]

Shifu: Finally.

Po: Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?

Shifu: If you can.

[Po lies down next to Shifu; long pause, then]

Po: Wanna get something to eat?

Shifu: [sighs] ... Yeah.

Po: He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

Shifu: [intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po: Watch me!

[tries to run around Shifu]

Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!

Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!

[pokes Po in his stomach]

Po: You don't believe that!

[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]

Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!

[Shifu knocks him to the ground]

Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

Shifu: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!

Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed, because every time you threw a brick at my head, or said I smelled, it *hurt*; but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being *me*! I *stayed* because I thought, if anyone can change me, can make me... *not* me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!

Shifu: But I can change you! I *can* turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!

Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!

Shifu: I don't know!

[sighs]

Shifu: I don't know.

Po: [sighs] That's what I thought.

[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling]

Po: What?

Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.

Po: Oh, yeah, yeah.

[imitating Shifu]

Po: You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds, and brush your teeth!

[everyone except Tigress laughs]

Po: What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine.

[he holds two bowls over his head to look like Shifu's ears]

Tai Lung: [exhausted after fighting Po] You... can't defeat me! You... you're just a big... fat... panda!

[He throws a weak punch, Po catches his hand by the finger]

Po: I'm not a big fat panda. I'm THE big fat panda.

[he raises his pinkie]

Tai Lung: [gasps] The Wuxi finger hold!

Po: Oh, you know this hold.

Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!

Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skidoosh.

[he flexes his pinkie and a golden shockwave ripples out over the valley]

Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!

Po: Oh, you know this hold?

Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.

Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!

[first lines]

Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Tai Lung: Who are you?

Po: Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!

[bows over, panting from the stairs]

Tai Lung: [incredulous] You?

[laughs]

Tai Lung: He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?

Po: Don't tempt me.

Po: Skadoosh!

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

[after completing his training]

Shifu: You have done well, Panda.

Po: Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome!

[Elbows Shifu]

Shifu: The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...

[elbows Po, causing him to stagger]

Shifu: ... awesome.

[They laugh]

Shifu: Let us begin.

Po: What? Well, uh, I don't know if I can do *all* those moves...

Shifu: [chuckles] Well, we'll never know unless we try, will we?

Po: Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.

Shifu: And what level is that?

Po: Uh, well, I'm not a master but, let's just say zero, level zero.

Shifu: [chuckles] There is no such thing as level zero.

Po: Well, what about that?

[He indicates a small dummy]

Shifu: That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.

[Po frowns]

Shifu: But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you, is with this.

[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]

Po: Oh great, 'cause I'm *hungry*!

Shifu: [laughs and pulls the bowl away] Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.

[He eats a dumpling]

Shifu: Let us begin.

[Tai-Lung's nerve strikes are only tickling Po]

Po: [laughing] Stop! I'm gonna pee!

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

Shifu: [sitting down to eat] After you, Panda.

Po: What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?

Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.

[Po sits and picks up his chopsticks]

Shifu: Enjoy.

[Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away]

Po: Hey!

Shifu: I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.

[Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again]

Shifu: You are free. To eat.

Po: Am I?

Shifu: ARE you?

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

Po: I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. Gonna take a lot more than dew, and universe... juice.

Viper: Are you ready?

Po: I was born read...

[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]

Viper: I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.

Po: That was awesome! Let's go again!

Po: Hey, guys...

Tigress: [bowing low before Po] Master.

[the rest of the Five follow suit]

Po: Master?... Master Shifu!

Oogway: [walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!

Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!

Oogway: I understand. You eat when you are upset.

Po: Upset? I'm not upset. Why, what makes you think I'm upset?

Oogway: So why *are* you upset?

Po: [sighs] I probably sucked more today than anybody in the history of kung fu. In the history of China. In the history of sucking!

Po: [looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace] Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

Tai Lung: Finally... oh, yes... at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll is *mine*...

[He opens the scroll - and stares at it]

Tai Lung: It's nothing!

Po: It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either.

Tai Lung: What?

Po: There *is* no secret ingredient. It's just you.

Po: [serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is... sharp!

Po: [breathing heavily] I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you at least tell me where we're going?

[after hiking up into the mountains, Shifu and Po stop at a pool of water]

Po: [panting] You... dragged me all the way up here... for a bath?

[he scoops up some water]

Shifu: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.

Po: The Pool of-?

[he quickly shakes the water off his paw]

Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This... is the birthplace of kung fu.

[cut to a vision of the yinyang and young Oogway mastering kung fu]

Shifu: [leaping to the top of a rock] Do you want to learn kung fu?

Po: Yeah!

Shifu: Then I *am* your master!

Po: [sniffling] Okay!

Shifu: Don't cry.

Po: [wiping his nose] Okay.

Po: [dazed] What are you pointing at? Oh! Okay. Sorry, I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.

Oogway: How interesting.

Tigress: Master, are you pointing at... me?

Oogway: Him.

Po: Who?

[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]

Oogway: You.

Po: What?

Oogway: [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!

Po: What?

Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?

Shifu: WHAT?

Mr. Ping: WHAT?

Tigress: You don't belong here.

Po: Right, I know. This is your room.

Tigress: No, I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.

[Closes door]

Po: [after awkward pause] Big fan.

[Po gazes upon the Dragon Scroll and screams... ]

Po: It's blank!

Shifu: What?

Po: Here, look!

[Po holds out the scroll]

Shifu: No, I am forbidden to look upon...

[Sifu grabs the Scroll and looks for himself]

Shifu: Blank!... I don't, I don't understand...

Po: They're five MASTERS! I'm just one me!

Shifu: But you will have the one thing no one else has!

Mr. Ping: That's my boy! That beautiful kung-fu warrior is my son!

Po: Thanks, Dad.

Monkey: [after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream] We should hang out.

Po: Agreed.

Mr. Ping: Noodles? You were really dreaming about noodles?

Po: Yeah. What else would I be dreaming about?

[hands a customer a bowl of soup with a throwing star in it]

Po: Oh, careful, that soup is... sharp.

Mr. Ping: Oh, happy day! My son finally having the noodle dream! This is a sign, Po!

Po: Uh, a sign of what?

Mr. Ping: You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant just as I took it over from my father, who took it over from his father, who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong!

Po: Ow! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel *better*!

Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...

Po: Fat?

Mantis: Fur! I was gonna say fur.

Po: Sure you were.

Mantis: Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size, I mean, look at me!

Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Shifu: Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!

Po: I know!

Po: No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!

Po: [whispering to the urn] Hello?

Shifu: [from behind Po] Have you finished sight-seeing?

Po: [stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn] Oh, sorry! I should've come to see you first!

Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.

Po: Oh. Well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere.

Po: [standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Po: But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?

Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.

Po: So why didn't you?

Mr. Ping: Oh, because it was a stupid dream! Can you imagine *me* making tofu?

[laughs airily]

Mr. Ping: No! We all have our place in this world. Mine is here, and yours is...

Po: I know. Here.

Mr. Ping: [throws Po bowls of soup to catch] No, it's at tables two, five, seven and twelve. Service with a smile!

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Perhaps you should chew... on my fist!

[smashes fist on table]

Po: [voice-over] The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. Then he swallowed...

[swallows]

Po: ...and then he spoke! "Enough talk, let's fight!"

Crane: Look, you don't belong here.

Po: Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's just... All my life I have dreamed of...

Crane: I mean you don't belong here, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane.

Po: Do you really think I'm ready?

Shifu: You are... Po.

[last lines]

Po: You wanna get something to eat?

Shifu: [sighing] ... Yeah.

Po: [after being hit in the crotch] Oh! My tenders!

Po: [after a long battle against Master Shifu, he allows Po to eat. Po tosses away the dumpling] I'm not hungry... Master.

Po: Yeah, ha-ha-ha!

Shifu: You are not the Dragon Warrior! You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you learn the secret of the Dragon Scroll!

Po: [looking up at the scroll] Oh. So, how does this work, do you have a ladder or a trampoline or something?

Shifu: You think it's that easy, that I'm just going to hand you the secret to limitless power? No! One must first master the very highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible when that one is someone like you!

Po: Someone like me?

Shifu: Yes! Look at you!

[whacking him]

Shifu: This fat butt! Flabby arms!

Po: Ow! Those are sensitive in the flabby parts.

Shifu: This ridiculous belly!

Po: Hey!

Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!

Po: Now wait a minute, that's a little uncalled for!

Shifu: Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath!

Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was...

[Shifu grabs his finger]

Po: The Wuxi finger hold! No, not the Wuxi finger hold!

Shifu: Oh-hoho, you know this hold.

Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the third dynasty, yes!

Shifu: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky...

Po: [gasps] No no no no!

Shifu: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part... is cleaning up afterwards.

Po: Okay, okay take it easy...

Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?

Po: Oh, yeah! We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear!

Shifu: [chuckling] Good. I can't wait to get started.

Po: [stares up a long passage] Ah. My old enemy... stairs!

Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you *choose* to be. So, who are you, panda?

Po: [determined] I am Po. And I'm gonna need a hat.

Shen: How did you find peace? I took away your parents! Everything! I scarred you for life!

Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.

Shen: No they don't. *Wounds* heal.

Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade, I guess?

Shen: I don't *care* what scars do!

Po: You should, Shen. You gotta let go of that stuff from past, because it just doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Shen: You're right. Then I choose *this*!

[Shen attacks Po with his knives; they fight until Shen accidentally dislodges his destroyed cannon and is crushed by it]

Tigress: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water...

Po: This is nothing like that plan.

Tigress: How?

Po: Because this one is gonna work.

Viper: Impressive, Dragon Warrior! What's your plan?

Po: Step one, free the Five!

Viper: What's step two?

Po: Honestly, I didn't think I was gonna make it this far.

Tigress: Po!

Po: Uh, stop Shen before he gets to the harbor!

Po: The peacock was there the last time I saw my parents! He knows what happened! Where I came from! Who I am.

[pause]

Po: Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hardcore can't understand.

[Tigress lunges at Po]

Viper: Tigress, no!

[Tigress hugs Po; Crane's jaw drops]

Tigress: The hardcore DO understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed.

[pulls away]

Tigress: [to the rest] We're going.

Crane: Uh, maybe you can't watch *me* be killed?

Tigress: Stop being a wimp.

Monkey: ...And, she's back.

Po: My fist hungers for justice!

[his stomach gurgles]

Po: That was my... fist.

Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.

Po: Well thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying!

Shen: Who do you think you are, Panda?

Po: Who do you think I am, Peacock?

[both laugh for an extended time, each taking turns]

Po: Why are we laughing?

Po: Shen! A panda stands between you and your...

[cut to Shen, who can barely hear Po say "destiny"]

Shen: WHAT?

[cut back to Po]

Po: Prepare yourself for a hot...

[cut again to Shen, who can still barely hear anything]

Shen: What?

Po: They must be close. I can feel a Kung Fu chill riding up my spine.

Viper: Sorry, Po. It's just me.

Shen: Greetings, panda. We meet at...

Po: [interrupting] Hey, how ya doin'?

Shen: [flustered] Eh - hey.

Monkey: At the first sign of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-Ka! Kee-Kee!

Po: You mean like Crane does?

Monkey: Yeah.

Crane: Excuse me? When have I ever make that noise?

Mr. Ping: So, how did it go? Did you save China?

Po: Yep.

Mr. Ping: Well, I knew you would! That's why I had these signs made! "My son saved China - you too can save! Buy one dumpling, get one free!"

Shen: Are you willing to die to find the truth?

Po: You bet I am...! Although, I'd prefer not to.

Po: I threw up around the third floor, so you might want to clean that up. You guys got an evil janitor around here or something?

Po: I'm not freaking out, I'm freaking *in*.

Po: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Monkey: [On seeing a poor person being mistreated by a wolf over cooking rice] Po, do something.

Po: How am I suppose to help her cook rice without getting caught?... Wait, I have a better idea!

Po: You! You're mine!

Wolf Boss: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours. My fist in your plush cuddly, super soft face!

[suddenly Monkey and Crane jump on the two wolf soldiers]

Wolf Boss: Uh-oh!

[he runs away]

Po: Get him!

Po: Dad, there's something you should know. While I was gone, I found the village where I was born. I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.

Mr. Ping: You did?

Po: I know who I am.

Mr. Ping: [nervously] You do?

Po: ...I'm your son.

Mr. Ping: Oh...

Po: [picks him up and hugs him] I love you, Dad.

Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.

Po: And now, to free the Five!

[takes off his hat]

Po: Disc of Destruction!

[He throws his hat... which doesn't go far and lands on a roof right in front of him]

Shen: Okay... take aim!

Crane: So that was stealth mode?

Po: Yeah, to be honest, not one of my stronger modes.

Po: [determined] I am Po... and I'm gonna need a hat.

Po: [Tigress catches him beating up the ship's mast] Uh, I'm... training.

Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent.

[flips through the air and lands beside Po with her hand extended toward him]

Tigress: I am ready.

Po: Okay. So serious...

Wolf Boss: [to Po as they are surrounded by wolf soldiers] Guess nobody told you, you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs!

Wolf Boss: [he hits Po in the stomach] I've hit you twice. What are you gonna do now?

Po: [he looks undefeated at Wolf Boss but then suddenly shouts] We surrender!

Shifu: This could be the end of Kung Fu.

Po: But I just got Kung Fu!

Shifu: And now, you must *save* it!

Po: Nothing's unstoppable except for me when I'm stopping you from telling me something's unstoppable.

[from trailer]

Po: Kung-fu staring contest! GO!

[stares at the viewer for 16 seconds]

Po: You guys look amazing, by the way...

Mantis: [spotting the Wolf Boss] Isn't that the guy who hammered you in the face?

Po: I hate that guy.

Wolf Boss: [as they're fighting] Is that all you got? 'Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old fluffy cloud!

Po: Well, this cloud is about bring the thunder!

Po: Tell me what happened that night.

Shen: What night?

Po: THAT night!

Shen: Oh, that night?

Po: YES! We're talking about the same night, right?

[rushing off to save the Musicians' Village]

Tigress: No snack stops this time.

Po: Ha-ha-ha! "Snack stops"!

[scoffs, then follows her]

Po: Wait, are you serious?

Po: I found out that my dad... isn't really my dad.

Tigress: Your dad, the goose?

[Po nods]

Tigress: [deadpan] That must have been quite a shock.

Master Storming Ox: Like I said, you are not getting me out of this cell!

[Sees that he and Croc are out of the cell]

Master Storming Ox: Oh.

Po: Yes! Ha ha, woo-hoo! All right, let's go!

Master Croc: [the Masters ignore Po and walk to another cell] I get the top bunk.

[Nick has just eaten an unborn chick directly from the egg to improve relations with the tribe]

Nick: So you guys eat this all the time or is just for... uhm... ceremonies?

Po: Are you kidding? We don't eat that shit!

Po: You want some company tonight, boss? Loki! Can be pretty lonely in the jungle.

Nick: No, I don't need any company.

Jimmy G: [whispering] Shit, I'll take her Nick!

[Nick stares badly at him]

Nick: Alright, I want you to take me on a guided tour of the shitpile.

Po: Sure thing, boss!

Nick: Keep your eyes open back here.

Nolan: [mimicking Po] Sure thing, boss!

Nick: C'mon, how do you defend yourselves?

Po: What to defend? A couple of trees, lot of rock, bird shit on everything.

Nick: Where's everybody?

Po: They're with the dead.

Po: The spirit has been gone a long time, but will run back to us. We will fight.

Nick: Like the Old People?

Po: Old People story is bullshit. We are the Old People.

[last lines]

Po: We have a legend. It tells of a man who comes far from the oceans and save us from great danger.

Nick: Really?

Po: No. But I'm working on it.

Nevitt: You know, all things aside, tonight's a perfect night for killing.

Po: Yeah, it is.