Pirate Captain Quotes in The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012)

Pirate Captain: Now listen Charles, we've all done something unforgivable. I've betrayed my pirate honor, you've betrayed science, and Mr. Bobo's betrayed the animal kingdom.

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: [looks at Darwin's house] You don't get many girls, do you?

Bobo: No. He. Doesn't.

Pirate Captain: And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat a Dracula.

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm a pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold!

Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat.

[his arm falls off]

Sailor: See?

[from trailer]

Pirate with Scarf: Can we get there?

Pirate Captain: Yes, but unfortunately there's this dirty great sea monster in the way.

Charles Darwin: I think they just add those on the maps for decoration.

Pirate Captain: Is that a fact?

[they go that way, and the monster appears and eats the ship]

Pirate with Scarf: See? I told you!

Pirate Captain: Fire the long things that go bang!

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: What pirates? Nobody here but us girl scouts!

[the crew is disguised in scout uniforms]

Bobo: Yeah. Right.

[from trailer]

Black Bellamy: You want to be Pirate of the Year? Do they just give it to the guy with the fattest parrot?

Pirate Captain: She's not fat, she's just big-boned!

Black Bellamy: She's fat, dude!

[the Dodo vomits on Bellamy]

Black Bellamy: Dude, come on!

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat...

[from trailer]

Peg Leg Hastings: The Pirate of the Year Awards...

Pirate Captain: Every time I've entered, I've failed to win. So, I must have a really good chance this time!

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: You're the best crew a captain could wish for!

Pirate Captain: [looking at the FBI Warning on the video] Ohhh, I'm so scared.