Peter Quill Quotes in Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Korath the Pursuer: Star-Lord!

Peter Quill: Finally!

Groot: I am Groot.

Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?

Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.

Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.

Drax the Destroyer: I can barely see.

Groot: [Groot releases glowing spores from his body to light up the way ahead]

Drax the Destroyer: Where did you learn to do that?

Peter Quill: I'm pretty sure the answer is: "I am Groot".

Groot: [Groot nods "yes" to Peter]

Rocket Raccoon: But Quill, beating Ronan... it can't be done. You're asking us to die.

Peter Quill: Yeah... I guess I am.

[pause]

Gamora: [stands up] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.

Drax the Destroyer: [stands up] You're an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter.

Groot: [stands up] I am Groot.

Rocket Raccoon: Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...

[stands up]

Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

Drax the Destroyer: I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.

Peter Quill: Thanks.

Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.

[Groot grunts]

Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...

Gamora: Oh, you must stop!

Drax the Destroyer: Finger on throat means death!

[kills Korath]

Drax the Destroyer: Metaphor.

Peter Quill: ...Sort of.

Denarian Saal: Peter Quill, this is Denarian Saal. For the record, I advised them against trusting you.

Peter Quill: [to Gamora] They got my dick message.

Denarian Saal: Prove me wrong!

Peter Quill: I have a plan.

Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.

Peter Quill: I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say.

Rocket Raccoon: And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.

Peter Quill: I have part of a plan.

Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?

Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!

Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!

Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!

Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?

Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!

Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...

Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?

Peter Quill: I dunno... Twelve percent?

Rocket Raccoon: Twelve percent?

[starts laughing]

Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.

Rocket Raccoon: It's real!

Peter Quill: Totally fake!

Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!

Gamora: It's barely a concept.

Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking their side?

Groot: I am Groot.

Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you Groot, thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.

Groot: [Groot begins to chew on a leaf protruding from his shoulder]

Rocket Raccoon: If we're gonna get outta here, we gonna need to get into that watch tower, and to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one.

Gamora: Leave it to me.

Rocket Raccoon: That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.

Peter Quill: His leg?

Rocket Raccoon: Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.

Peter Quill: ...All right.

Rocket Raccoon: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?

Peter Quill: Yeah.

Rocket Raccoon: There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.

Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?

Rocket Raccoon: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.

[Groot starts walking toward the panel]

Gamora: You must be joking.

Rocket Raccoon: No, I really heard they find you attractive.

Peter Quill: Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.

Rocket Raccoon: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!

[Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out]

Rocket Raccoon: Can I get back to it? Thanks.

[Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery]

Rocket Raccoon: Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.

[Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms]

Rocket Raccoon: Or we could just get it first and improvise.

Gamora: I'll get the armband.

Peter Quill: Leg.

Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.

Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.

Gamora: ...Who put the sticks up their butts?

Rocket Raccoon: Fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks.

Peter Quill: See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!

Gamora: And Quill, your ship is filthy.

Gamora: [She walks away]

Peter Quill: Oh she has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

Rocket Raccoon: You got issues, Quill.

[last lines]

Peter Quill: What should we do next: Something good, something bad? Bit of both?

Gamora: We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord.

Peter Quill: A bit of both!

Peter Quill: [talks with the rest of the Guardians in private when they are all in doubt] When I look around, you know what I see? Losers.

[Everyone looks at him]

Peter Quill: I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.

Rocket Raccoon: To do what?

Peter Quill: To give a shit. And I am not gonna stand by and watch as billions of lives are being wiped out.

Peter Quill: [about Gamora] She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you...

[draws his finger across his throat in a cutthroat gesture]

Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?

Peter Quill: No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat.

Drax the Destroyer: I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off.

Rocket Raccoon: Why would you want to save the galaxy?

Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Rhomann Dey: Peter Jason Quill. He's also known as Star-Lord.

Nova Corps Officer: Who calls him that?

Rhomann Dey: Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud...

[Quill winds up his finger and flips the bird at the screen which reads: OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT]

Peter Quill: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...

Peter Quill: I can't believe I got taken down by a raccoon...

Rocket Raccoon: Raccoon? What's a raccoon?

Peter Quill: You are! I've seen many of them, like you, on Earth!

Rocket Raccoon: Ain't no thing like me, except me!

[Quill struggles to control the Infinity stone]

Gamora: Peter, take my hand!

[Quill grabs her hand, and Drax and Rocket do the same]

Ronan: You're mortal! How...

Peter Quill: You said it, bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.

[the Guardians strike Ronan]

[from trailer]

Peter Quill: So here we are: a thief, two thugs, an assassin and a maniac. But we're not going to stand by as evil wipes out the galaxy. I guess we're stuck together, partners.

Ronan: Citizens of Xandar, behold your guardians of the galaxy! What fruit have they wrought?

Peter Quill: [dances] Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...

Ronan: What are you doing?

Peter Quill: Dance-off, bro. Me and you.

[holds out his hand for Gamora]

Peter Quill: Gamora.

[she shakes her head]

Peter Quill: Subtle, taking it back.

Ronan: What are you doing?

Peter Quill: I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!

Gamora: [talks to Drax] You don't get opinions after that nonsense you pulled on Knowhere.

Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!

Peter Quill: We've already established that blowing up the ship I'm on isn't saving me.

Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?

Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!

Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking about something else.

Rocket Raccoon: She's right; you don't get opinions.

[Quill hands the Stone over to the Ravagers]

Peter Quill: [as they leave] He's going to be pissed when he finds out I switched out the orb on him.

Gamora: He's going to kill you, Peter.

Peter Quill: Oh I know. But he's about the only family I have.

Gamora: No... he wasn't.

Gamora: You should have learned.

Peter Quill: I don't learn. One of my issues.

[a brawl takes place between Drax and Rocket]

Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

Rocket Raccoon: That is true!

Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect!

Rocket Raccoon: That is also true! Keep callin' me vermin tough guy, you just want to laugh at me like everyone else!

Peter Quill: Rocket, you're drunk, all right? No one's laughing at you.

Rocket Raccoon: [points at Drax] He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does!

[starts to cry]

Rocket Raccoon: Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over and turned into some little monster!

Peter Quill: Rocket, no one's calling you a monster...

Rocket Raccoon: He called me vermin! She called me rodent! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!

[draws a gun]

Peter Quill: No no no! Four billion units! Rocket, come on man, suck it up for one more lousy night and we're rich.

Rocket Raccoon: Fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks.

Peter Quill: See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!

Nova Prime Rael: The fate of 12 billion people is in your hands.

Peter Quill: Hold on a second, you're being serious right now?

Peter Quill: [spots a guard taking his headphones] HEY, HEY, HEY! That's mine! Hey, take those headphones off, right now!

[goes to face the guard, and gets zapped by a stun-rod]

Peter Quill: Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede! That song belongs to me!

[gets zapped again]

Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're a good looking girl. You should try to be more nice to people.

Peter Quill: I come from Earth, a planet of outlaws. My name is Peter Quill. There's one other name you may know me by. Star-Lord.

Peter Quill: I was only a kid when I left Earth, and I had no idea what the universe had in store for me.

Peter Quill: What are you doing?

Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

Rocket Raccoon: That is true!

Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect!

Rocket Raccoon: That is also true!

Yondu Udonta: We're Ravagers, we got a code.

Peter Quill: Yeah, and that code is: steal from everybody.

Rocket Raccoon: There's one more thing we need to complete the plan: that guy's eye!

[points at a Ravager with a cybernetic eye]

Peter Quill: No, no, no, we don't need that guy's eye!

Rocket Raccoon: No, seriously, I need it!

[snickers, and tries to hide it]

Rocket Raccoon: It's important to me...

Rocket Raccoon: [Rocket and Star-Lord are escaping in mine pods with Necrocrafts after them] We don't have any weapons!

Peter Quill: These are mine pods, they're nearly indestructible.

Rocket Raccoon: Not against Necroblasters they're not!

Peter Quill: That's not what I'm saying.

Rocket Raccoon: ...Oh.

[Rocket starts to ram the Necrocrafts]

[Roman presents Quill with a rebuilt Milano]

Peter Quill: Thank you.

Rhomann Dey: I have a wife and child on Xandar. Thanks to you, they're still alive.

Peter Quill: [Yondu's robotic dart is pointing at him] If you kill me, you're gonna miss the biggest score you've ever seen.

Yondu Udonta: The Stone? I hope you gotta better idea 'cause no one ain't stealing from Ronan.

Peter Quill: We got a ringer.

[glances at Gamora]

Peter Quill: She knows everything there is about Ronan. His ship, how to get in...

Gamora: He's vulnerable.

Peter Quill: So whaddaya think? Me and you, taking down scores, just like old times?

[Yondu glares at Quill... then calls off his dart and hugs Quill]

Yondu Udonta: [laughs] You always had balls, son! That's why we kept you as a youngling!

Peter Quill: If we're gonna work together you might wanna try trusting me a little bit.

Gamora: How much do you trust me?

Peter Quill: Rocket, you're drunk alright? No one's laughin' at you.

Peter Quill: No no no!

Peter Quill: Four billion units!

Peter Quill: Rocket, come on man, suck it up for one more lousy night and we're rich.

Peter Quill: Rocket, no one's calling you a monster.

[from trailer]

Peter Quill: We will not stand by as evil wipes out billions of innocent lives.

Peter Quill: There's one other name you might know me by... Star Lord.

Korath the Pursuer: ...Who?

Peter Quill: Star Lord, man. Legendary Outlaw.

[Korath shrugs]

The Collector: These carriers can use the stone to mow down entire civilisations like wheat in a field.

Peter Quill: There's a little pee coming out of me right now.

Rocket Raccoon: Move to the watchtower!

Peter Quill: That was a pretty good plan.

Peter Quill: I saw you out there. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't let you die. I found something inside of myself, something incredibly heroic. I mean, not to brag, but objectively...

Gamora: [sigh] Where's the orb?

Peter Quill: I look around and you know what I see? Losers!... But life's giving us a chance.

Drax the Destroyer: To do what?

Peter Quill: Something good, something bad... a bit of both.

Rocket Raccoon: Aw, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...

Peter Quill: A lot of people has been trying to kill me over the years. I'm not going to be brought down by a tree and a talking raccoon.

Rocket Raccoon: Hold up! What's a raccoon?

Peter Quill: What's a raccoon? You stupid.

Rocket Raccoon: Ain't no thing like me, except me!

Drax the Destroyer: You! Man who has lain with an Askervarian!

Peter Quill: It was one time, man.

Gamora: It's dangerous and illegal work, suitable only for outlaws.

Peter Quill: Well, I come from a planet of outlaws: Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, John Stamos.

Peter Quill: Oh you wanna talk about senseless? How about trying to save us by blowing us up?

Rocket Raccoon: We were only gonna blow you up if they didn't turn you over.

Peter Quill: And how on earth were they gonna turn us over when you only gave them a count of five?

Rocket Raccoon: Well we didn't have time to work out the minutiae of the plan.

Bereet: Peter, what happened?

Peter Quill: Oh... hey, um...

Bereet: Bereet!

Peter Quill: Bereet. I'm gonna be totally honest, I forgot you were here.

Gamora: [regarding Yondu] Why is this one here?

Peter Quill: We promised him he could stay by your side until he kills your boss. I always keep my promises when they're to muscle-bound whack-jobs who will kill me if I don't.

[Yondu is floating in the air, hanging on his arrow]

Peter Quill: You look like Mary Poppins.

Yondu: Is he cool?

Peter Quill: Hell yeah, he's cool.

Yondu: I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

Peter Quill: You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman!

Drax: There are two types of beings in the universe: those who dance, and those who do not.

Peter Quill: I get it, yes. I am a dancer, Gamora is not.

Drax: You need to find a woman who's pathetic, like you.

Peter Quill: Sometimes, the thing you've been looking for your whole life is right there beside you all along.

Drax: [next to Peter] You're right!

Ego: Death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.

Peter Quill: I'm immortal?

Ego: Mmhmm.

Peter Quill: Really?

Ego: Yes. As long as the light exists.

Peter Quill: Like, I could use the light to build cool things, like how you made this whole planet?

Ego: Well, it might take a few million years of practice before you get really good at it, but yes.

Peter Quill: Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear...

Ego: Whatever you want.

Peter Quill: I'm gonna make some weird shit.

[from Trailer]

Rocket: Does anybody have any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the "Death" button!

Peter Quill: [Hanging by one arm] Nobody has any tape!

Rocket: Not a single person has tape?

Peter Quill: You have an atomic bomb in your bag! If anyone is gonna have tape, it's *YOU*!

[Baby Groot grabs the device and runs off with it while Rocket's back is turned]

Rocket: I have to do everything!

Peter Quill: You are wasting a lot of time here!

Baby Groot: I... AM... GROOOOOOT!

Rocket: [to himself] That's a really bad sign.

Peter Quill: What's that?

Kraglin: It's a Zune; everybody on Earth listens to it nowadays.

Rocket: You people have issues.

Peter Quill: Well of course I have issues, that's my freaking father!

Ego: I created what I imagined biological life to be like. Down to the most minute detail.

Drax: Did you make a penis?

Peter Quill: Dude!

Gamora: What is wrong with you?

Drax: If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her.

Peter Quill: I don't need to hear how my parents...

Drax: Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.

Peter Quill: That's disgusting.

Drax: It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups.

Ego: Yes, Drax, I got a penis.

Drax: Ha! Thank you.

Ego: And it's not half bad.

Ego: Listen to me! You are a god. If you kill me, you'll be just like everybody else!

Peter Quill: [whispers in sympathy] What's so wrong with that?

Ego: NO!

[from Trailer]

Mantis: When I touch someone I can feel their feelings.

[touches Quill's hand]

Mantis: You feel... love!

Peter Quill: Yeah, I guess - Yeah, I feel a general unselfish love for everyone.

Mantis: No. *Sexual* love...

Peter Quill: No. No, I don't.

Mantis: [points at Gamora] ... for her!

Peter Quill: No!

[Drax begins laughing hysterically]

Drax: She just told everyone you deepest, darkest secret!

[Drax continues laughing]

Peter Quill: Dude! Come on! I think you're reacting a little bit!

Drax: You must be so embarrassed!

[continues cracking up]

Drax: Do me! Do me! Do me!

Rocket: Are we really saving the galaxy, again?

Peter Quill: Yeah.

Rocket: Great! We can jack up our prices if we're two-time galaxy savers!

Peter Quill: I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He's a singer and actor from earth, really famous guy. Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn't have a beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots. I guess David Hasselhoff did kinda end up being my dad after all, only it was you, Yondu.

[tearing up]

Peter Quill: I had a pretty cool dad. What I'm trying to say here is... sometimes, that thing you're searching for your whole life is right there by your side all along, and you don't even know it.

Peter Quill: [on teenage Groot] Now I know how Yondu felt...

Peter Quill: You put your turd in my bed, I shave you!

Rocket: It won't be my turd it'll be one of Drax's

Drax: Haha! Yes I have famously huge turds

Rocket: You know why I did it, Star-Munch? Hmm?

Peter Quill: I'm not gonna answer to "Star-Munch."

Rocket: I did it because I wanted to! What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!

Drax: How little?

Rocket: [holding his thumb and forefinger close together] Well, kinda like this?

Gamora: [skeptically] A little one-inch man saved us?

Rocket: Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he'd be much larger.

Peter Quill: Yeah, that's how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon.

Rocket: DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON!

Peter Quill: I'm sorry, I took it too far. I meant "trash panda."

[Rocket looks around in confusion]

Rocket: Is that better?

Drax: I don't know.

Peter Quill: [snickering] It's worse. It's so much worse.

Mantis: If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.

Peter Quill: You read minds?

Mantis: No. Telepaths know thoughts. Empaths feel feelings. Emotions.

[to Peter]

Mantis: May I?

Peter Quill: Alright.

[Mantis touches Peter's hand]

Mantis: You feel... love.

Peter Quill: Yeah, I guess I feel a general, unselfish love for...

Mantis: No. Romantic, sexual love.

Peter Quill: No, no. No, I don't.

Mantis: [points to Gamora] For her.

Peter Quill: No! That is not...

Drax: [laughing hysterically] She just told everyone you're deepest, darkest secret!

Peter Quill: Dude, come on! I think you're overreacting a little bit.

Drax: [still laughing] You must be so embarrassed!

[to Mantis]

Drax: Do me! Do me, do me!

[Mantis touches Drax and she starts laughing hysterically]

Mantis: I've never felt such humor!

[Drax and Mantis are laughing and pointing at Peter]

Peter Quill: So unbelievably uncool.

[Mantis walks over to Gamora to touch her]

Gamora: Touch me, and the only thing you're gonna feel is a broken jaw.

Drax: The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced on the outside... Then I must cut through it from the inside!

Gamora: Huh?... No. NO! Drax, wait a minute! DRAX!

[Drax charges at the monster, and gets eaten]

Peter Quill: [horrified] What is he doing?

Gamora: He said the beast's hide is too thick to be pierced on the outside...

Peter Quill: That doesn't make any sense!

Gamora: I tried telling him that!

Peter Quill: It's the SAME level of thickness on the inside as on the outside!

Gamora: I realize that!

Peter Quill: You loved my mother.

Ego: I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over, so I did what I had to do. But... it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head."

Peter Quill: What?

Ego: Now, now, alright, I know that sounds bad, but...

[Peter continuously shoots Ego with his Quad Blasters]

Ego: [reforms] Who... in the HELL... do you think you are?

Peter Quill: YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!

Ego: I tried so hard to find the form...

[Ego's body an voice changes]

The Form of David Hasselhoff: ...that best SUITED YOU! And this is the thanks I get?

[changes back]

Ego: You REALLY need to GROW UP!

[Ego attacks Quill]

Ego: I wanted to do this together, but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a BATTERY!

Peter Quill: This is weird, we got a Sovereign fleet approaching from the rear.

Gamora: Why would they do that?

Drax: Probably 'cause Rocket stole some of their batteries.

Rocket: Dude!

Drax: [awkwardly] Right... he didn't steal some of those. I don't know why they're after us, what a mystery this is.

Ayesha: [to the Guardians] Just who the hell do you think you are?

Peter Quill: Well...

Peter Quill: Showtime, A-holes!

Peter Quill: [to Rocket] Are you trying to make everyone hate you? Because you're doing it perfectly.

Peter Quill: Isn't immortality boring?

Ego: Not if you have a purpose.