Pest Quotes in Attack the Block (2011)

Pest: They arrest us for nothing anyway.

Moses: No, I reckon yeah, I reckon, the Feds sent them anyway. Government probably bred those things to kill black boys. First they sent in drugs, then they sent guns and now they're sending monsters in to kill us. They don't care man. We ain't killing each other fast enough. So they decided to speed up the process.

Pest: Believe!

Pest: Big alien gorilla wolf motherfuckers. I swear.

Pest: You're quite fit you know? Have you got a boyfriend?

Sam: Yeah.

Pest: You sure about him? Where is he? Cos he ain't exactly lookin' out for you tonight.

Sam: He's in Ghana.

Pest: You going out with an African then?

Sam: No... he... he's helping children. Volunteers for the Red Cross.

Pest: Oh... is it? Why can't he help children in Britain? Not exotic enough is it? Don't get a nice suntan. Tsst.

Sam: We should call the police.

Pest: You'd be better off calling the Ghostbusters love.

Biggz: Hurry up guys, we gotta catch 'em all!

Pest: Calm down Biggz, this ain't Pokemon!

[last lines]

Sam: [to police officers] I know them. They're my neighbors. They protected me.

[Moses is being taken away by the police, because he had weapons he used against the aliens, and the neighbors become a crowd and start chanting, "Moses! Moses! Moses! Moses!" Both Moses and Pest are handcuffed inside the police wagon]

Pest: Moses, brother! Can you hear that? That's for you, man.

[Moses, his face still wounded by an alien, hears the chanting of his name; he looks up and smiles]

Pest: I'm shitting myself innit', but at the same time...

Moses: What?

Pest: This is sick.

[the boys, running from an alien, have followed Sam into her apartment. She runs into her bedroom, shuts the door, looks for the phone - it isn't there in its cradle - so she lifts a guitar and charges back out]

Sam: Get out of my fucking flat!

[a couple of them glance at her, make derogatory noises because they're too busy worrying about the situation, and turn away]

Sam: I said, get out!

Moses: Yo, snitch. Calm yourself. This ain't about you no more.

Sam: Come anywhere near me, and I swear I will scream this fucking block down!

Jerome: There's worse things out there to be scared of than us, tonight! Trust it!

Dennis: Hey, bruv. I saw her ID card thing. She's a nurse, innit?

Pest: Help me, then! I need this leg. I need it to be able to run away from them things!

Sam: You think I'm going to help you? After you attacked me and robbed me, and then set those dogs on the police?

Dennis: Yes to the first two, no to the last one.

Pest: Dogs? What kind of dogs those? Dogs with no eyes? Dogs the size of gorillas? You think them things are dogs? Go out there and try feeding them some Pedigree Chum! They're ALIENS, luv!

Sam: Whatever the fuck they are, they're not fucking aliens!

Dennis: You swear too much, man.

Pest: Yeah, you got a potty mouth, man.

Jerome: Look, whatever they are, they're inside the Block now. They're after everyone.

Dennis: Yeah. We're on the same side, man. Get it?

Pest: Call Simon Cowell. Aliens Got Talent.

Brewis: Jokes man, jokes!

Pest: That's an alien bruv, believe it.

Pest: I've got nice boxers on. Genuine Calvin Klein. Fresh today.

Brewis: Well, whatever it is, you're covered in it and it seems to be piquing the interest of a rather hostile alien species. I'm just saying... maybe if you took those clothes off, they wouldn't know we're here.

Pest: You fancy him or something? Are you trying to get him naked?

Pest: So, you started a few wars. a-ite? Okay, you actually you started every war, but I mean who's counting; it's not like you ever won one, right?

[laughs and pulls Leo's pants down]

Leo: Ve kicked France's ass.

Pest: Oh please, like who hasn't?

Pest: So... uh... what was your snake's name?

Himmel: Cocteau.

Pest: [nervously] Coc-teau? Like the French playwright?

Himmel: Nein... After my two favorite body parts.

Pest: "The United States of... Germany." Wow, somebody's a sore loser.

Pest: Later, masturbator.

Angus: Do you know what today is?

Pest: The first day of the rest of our lives?

Angus: No.

Pest: Sean Connery's birthday?

Angus: Sean Connery's birthday?

Bagpipe Player: SEAN CONNERY'S BIRTHDAY?

[Band plays "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"]

Pest: Love, peace and chicken grease.

Pest: Of course I farted. What, you think I smell like this all the time?

[Pest and Angus speak over telephone]

Angus: You'd show more respect if we were the Italian mob.

Pest: Oh, please. Don't start that again.

Angus: Just because we're Scottish people don't take us seriously

[Pest burps into mouthpiece]

Himmel: Don't flatter me.

Pest: OK, your feet stink, your nose is point and your mother dresses you funny!

Angus: Today is Monday. I want all the money you owe me by Wednesday or I'm going to kill your whole family.

Pest: How 'bout Thursday and you just take out a cousin?

Puerto Rican Boy: If you're blind, how did you know that I was a man?

Pest: I could hear your gonads shaking.

Pest: [talking to himself while defecating in the forest] Whether 'tis nobler in the mind...

[farts]

Pest: ...to suffer the slings and arrows...

[farts again]

Pest: ...of outrageous fortune...

[farts again]

[after his crotch caught on fire]

Pest: Fear not. The Pest line shall continue. My childrens have been savededed.

[after he pees his pants from fright]

Pest: I'm sorry. I couldn't make it to the newspaper.

Pest: ...I hope you get violated by pig monkey men in the woods.

Pest: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the slickest of them all? It's the schemin'est, keenest scam artist. GOD, IT'S SO HARD TO BE MODEST.

Pest: Excuse me, but - ahh. Why do I gotta look like something out of "Jungle Book" and you guys all get the nice Banana Republic stuff?

Xantha: Anything you have to say to me... you can say it in front of Malaria.

Pest: Anything?

Xantha: Anything.

Pest: Alright. Malaria's got mossy teeth, dandruff, and a fat butt!

Xantha: PEST!

Malaria: These jeans make me look fat!

Pest: Ah no, Malaria, your fat butt makes you look fat!

Pest: O MY GOD. Quacky. Quacky. What have they dided to you?

[Pretends to cry]

Pest: Which one is he?

[singing]

Pest: I'm "ridiculiculous." Like a booger I stick to this.

[singing]

Pest: I'm in the mood to scam, simply because I can.

[Pest and Chubbs enter an armory]

Pest: Be all you can be!

Chubbs: Yeah, don't ask, don't tell.

Pest: ...What's that supposed to mean?

Chubbs: Oh, nothin'.

Pest: Just checkin...

[after tumbling down a steep hill and banging his head against a rock]

Pest: Aaahhh, now I'm nice and limber!

[after Gustav wasted his tranquilzers on Xantha's family and his son, missing Pest]

Pest: You can't hit me! You can't hit me! You're a big sucker-butt! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha! I can't believe you're German! Ha ha h...

[Gustav hits him with the gun handle]

[Pest works at a Chinese restaurant, disguised as Chinese]

Mr. Cheung: [In heavy Chinese accent] How come I don't undastand any of your Chinese?

Pest: [In just as thick an accent] I from Souff! Is a diffwent diawect!

Mr. Cheung: Oh really? Well, I'm from Souff too!

Pest: [pause] Well, I from FAR, FAR, FAR, far Souff!

Pest: [Flatulence] One stinky dinky, Ah ha ha!

[Flatulence]

Pest: Two stinky dinky,

[Extended Flatulence]

Pest: Ah ha ha!