Perry Quotes in Free Willy (1993)

Perry: They looking for me?

Jesse: Nah.

Perry: Cool.

Perry: Mr. Koontz, I don't think you understand me. Let me clear: I'm accustomed to getting what I want. I want that bear!

Perry: This isn't hunting. This is business.

Perry: These young people, they... they were brought up on MTV and video games. They know nothing of the real world. They can't conceive of the true brutality of nature.

Perry: Let's get rid of this kayak before any unwanted company comes.

Koontz: [sees a helicopter] Who the hell is that?

Perry: Unwanted company.

Perry: One way or another, if you're persistent, fortune always smiles on you.

Perry: It's true! Really true! We're on our way and never coming back. Never! And no regrets.

Dick: For you. You're leaving nothing. What about my old man... and my mother? They'll still be there when my checks start bouncing.

Perry: It's nice the way you think about your folks.

Dick: Yeah! I'm a real thoughtful bastard.

Perry: That was stupid - stealin' a lousy pack of razor blades! To prove what?

Dick: It's the national pastime, baby, stealin' and cheatin'. If they ever count every cheatin' wife and tax chiseler, the whole country would be behind prison walls.

Perry: It doesn't make sense. I mean what happened. It had nothing to do with the Clutters. They never hurt me. They just happened to be there. I thought Mr. Clutter was a very nice gentleman... I thought so right up to the time I cut his throat.

Dick: Did you ever hang any paper?

Perry: I couldn't cash a check, even if it was good!

Dick: Did you see those guys? They coulda robbed us!

Perry: What of?

Dick: Next move... Mexico. Once we beat it out of the country.

Perry: On what? $43 and a smile and bullshit.

[First use of the word 'bullshit' in a Hollywood film]

Dick: You guessed it, chief. It's the smile that does it. Like it says in the commercials, the family that sticks together lives forever.

Perry: [to himself, looking in a bathroom mirror] Stick 'em up!

Perry: Hey, buddy!

Perry: [realizing he's being watched] How long you been standin' there?

Dick: Long enough to catch your late late show.

[last lines]

Perry: [his last words] I'd like to apologize, but... who to?

Perry: Do you have any aspirin? They took my aspirin away.

Alvin Dewey: Fellin' bad?

Perry: My legs do.

Perry: [quoting his father] Look at me boy! Take a good look! Cause I'm the last living thing you're ever gonna see!

Perry: I despise people who can't control themselves.

Perry: When you hit the end of the rope... your muscles lose control. I'm afraid I'll mess myself.

Prison Guard: It's nothing to be ashamed of. They all do it.

Dick: A full day's work deserves a full-course dinner.

Perry: The condemned ate a hearty meal.

Dick: I don't know what they ate, but tonight, cheeseburgers

Perry: What the hell are you doing here? Are you actually dreaming right now?

R: I'm not sure.

Perry: You can't dream, corpse. Dreaming's for humans.

Julie: Chill out, Perry. He can dream if he wants to.

[Julie approaches R]

Julie: What about you, R? What do you want to be?

R: I don't know. I don't even know what I am.

Julie: Well you can be whatever you want. Isn't that what they say?

R: We can, right? You and me?

[Julie nods]

Perry: It's not gonna happen, lover boy. Not after you told her you ate her ex.

Perry: [R rushes towards Julie before Perry shoots him in the chest] Smile mother...

[R pulls Perry's legs out from under him and prepares to bite into his arm]

R: [voice-over] Nice watch.

Perry: My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?

Harry: A picture of me?

Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!

Perry: We gotta move her somewhere. You got gloves?

Harry: Excuse me?

Perry: Gloves. Do you have gloves? You have to move her. If it's a frame-up, some asshole's probably calling the cops on you right now. Do this: wrap up the body in a blanket, a sheet, anything.

Harry: Okay, any particular kind of gloves?

Perry: Yes, fawn. Will you fucking hurry!

Harry: Perry?

Perry: Yeah?

Harry: I peed on it.

Perry: What? You peed on what?

Harry: I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, ID from that?

Perry: I'm sorry, you peed on...?

Harry: On the corpse. My question is...

Perry: No, my question, I get to go first: Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?

Harry: I didn't intend to! It's not like I did it for kicks!

Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.

Harry: Bad.

Perry: Excuse me?

Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...

Perry: What, fuckhead? Who taught you grammar? Badly's an adverb. Get out. Vanish.

Harry: Well what I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff is I'm playing a little game called "Am I Bluffing?"

[Loads one round into the revolver to play Russian Roulette]

Harry: Where is she? Where the fuck is Harmony? You want to play hardball? I can do that.

[Spins the chamber and points the gun]

Harry: Where is the girl?

[Shoots the guy in the head]

Perry: [Stuttering at first] What did you just do?

Harry: [Confused] I just put in one bullet, didn't I?

Perry: You put a live round in that gun?

Harry: Well yeah, there was like an 8% chance.

Perry: Eight? Who taught you math!

Harry: Do you think I'm stupid?

Perry: I don't think you'd know where to put food at, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.

Perry: [to the audience] Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so much.

Harry: Still gay?

Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

Perry: How about you, Harry, did your father love you?

Harry: Ah, sometimes, like when I dressed up like a bottle. How about yours?

Perry: Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible, but he never actually said the words.

Harry: What is it out here with these women?

Harmony: Oh please, Harry, they're no different from anywhere else.

Harry: Yes, they are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. I'm telling you, you take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood - dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular...

Harry: [putting a cigarette in his mouth] ... Now, you take one of these... gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I *bet* you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver.

Harmony: Denmark.

Harry: [closing his cigarette lighter] That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my papa!"... and then they all come out here!

Harry: [continuing] I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and *shook* it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.

Harmony: OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!

[all the girls in the club raise their hands]

Perry: See that? Obedient little bitches too.

[girl screams "Fuck you!" and throws a glass, which he dodges]

Perry: He called her a... well, a bad word.

[pause]

Perry: Cunt.

Harry: She had something, that gal tonight, this quality. You know, like the girl from high school, the one that got away that - you know what I mean? - that haunts you still.

Perry: Yeah, I had that.

Harry: You did?

Perry: Bobby Mills.

Harry: Eugh. Hunh. Well, maybe you should try to get in touch with him. I got 5 bucks says you could still get him.

Perry: Really? That's funny. I got a 10 says pass the pepper. I got two quarters sing harmony on "Moonlight in Vermont".

Harry: What?

Harry: Talking money.

Harry: A talking monkey?

Perry: A talking monkey, yeah, yeah. Came here from the future. Ugly sucker. Only says "ficus".

Perry: You don't get it, do you? This isn't "good cop, bad cop." This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.

Harry: Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real?

Perry: Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun.

Harry: Because...

Perry: Because its only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, Chief.

Harry: Is she a looker?

Perry: She opens the door, and she got nothing on but the radio. Yeah, invites me to sit down, sits on my lap, fires up a spliff.

Harry: Geez. Really?

Perry: No. Idiot.

Harry: Is she dead?

Perry: No, she's just resting her eyes for a minute. Of course she's fucking dead, her neck's broken.

Perry: Okay, you've got 30 of my fucking seconds. Thrill me.

Perry: Harmony was right, her sister was murdered. You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit.

Perry: I want you to picture a bullet in your head. Can you do that for me?

Harmony's Dad: Do I know you?

Perry: No. Just in town for the funeral.

Harmony's Dad: What do you want?

Perry: Well, I was going to go to the zoo, but it was closed, so I thought I'd come here and look at an animal.

Harmony's Dad: Son of a... Who do you think you're talking to? I buried my daughter today!

Perry: No. You buried her twenty years ago. Harmony was right, her sister was murdered. You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit.

Harmony's Dad: Who are you? I loved my girl.

[Perry backhands him]

Harmony's Dad: You fucker! If I could get out of this bed...

Perry: Yeah? Well, you can't.

[Perry backhands him again]

Harmony's Dad: You bastard! Old man that can't defend himself. Big tough guy.

Perry: Yeah, that's right. Big tough guy.

Perry: Merry Christmas, sorry I fucked you over.

Harry: No problem. Don't quit your gay job.

Perry: Don't blame yourself. Listen. sometimes these things just happen.

Harry: For a reason. For a reason? Why? Because I fall off a building, 10 people in Baltimore survive a bus crash? Swell, they're enjoying Baltimore. I'm lying here with my brains out.

Perry: I've been to Baltimore. You win.

Perry: How about you, Harry, did your father love you?

Harry: Ah, sometimes, you know - like when I dressed up like a bottle. How about yours?

Perry: Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible, but he never actually said the words.

Harry: So the whole... reconcilement... thing?

Perry: Reconciliation, idiot.

Perry: [Calling Harmony after escaping torture with Harry] Hey, Harmony, it's me.

Harmony: Oh, God, how did you get away?

Perry: I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls.

Perry: Rule number 1...

Harry: Yeah.

Perry: This business. Real life, boring.

Perry: [on the phone] What do you mean they gave her back?

Perry: Do not play detective. This is not a book. This is not a movie.

Harry: Hey, hey, hey! It's Christmas, where's my present, Slick?

Perry: Your fucking present is you're not in jail, fag-hag.

Perry: Rule number one: this business, real life, it's boring. Do you have to smoke?

Harry: You want me to put it out?

Perry: Yeah, soon as you find a large, brown clump of shrubs, just throw it in there.

Perry: What are you doing?

Harry: I'm just trying to wrap up the movie, and leave people with a message.

Perry: Oh, I've got a message for you. Get your feet off my fucking desk.

Harry: Sorry.

[Harry moves his feet]

Harry: I work for Perry now, obviously.

Perry: [Perry places his hand over Harry's mouth] And stop narrating.

Perry: I'd understand if you wanted to take a swing at me...

Perry: [Harry lands a quick punch to Perry's chin] You fuck!

Perry: Do you have to smoke?

Harry: Do you want me to put it out, when we get near the...?

Perry: Yeah, as soon as you find a large, brown clump of shrubs. Just throw it in there.

Perry: You think that's funny huh? I'm going to break your nose now.

[nonchalantly pistol whips the guy in the nose]

Perry: You, stop multiplying.

Harry: She slept with Chook Chutney!

Perry: Wait, "Chook Chutney"? Yeah he's gay.

Rose: My mother has a saying. Do you want to hear it?

Perry: Sure.

Rose: Don't shit where you eat!

Perry: We could go to my apartment. You could see how the other half lives.

Rose: I'm too old for you.

Perry: I'm too old for me; that's my predicament.

Perry: Pardon me folks. That was just a very attractive mental patient.

Perry: Now, Patricia, please don't leave!

Patricia: So what do you think I am, some sort of talking dog?

Perry: I was just making a point about the way you said... the way you stated your aspirations.

Patricia: Yeah? Well you can kiss my aspirations, Professor!

Perry: Kiss my aspirations? Oh, very clever! Yeah, the heighth of cleverness! Waiter!

Perry: Do you think Gemma saw my poo? I wouldn't mind seeing Gemma's poo.

Kevin: Candice and Gemma do not poo.

Perry: Yes Mrs Patterson!

Perry: Hasta banana!

Perry: Mr. Pear?

Arlo Pear: Yes.

Perry: How's it hanging?

Arlo Pear: How's what hanging?

Perry: Your dick.

Arlo Pear: It's hanging to the left.

Arlo Pear: Frank, remember two years I loaned you my weed whacker? Well since we're moving, I've come to ask for it back.

Frank Crawford: No.

Arlo Pear: It's *our* weed whacker, Frank, the whole family went down to Sears together. So I've come to ask you to give it back.

Frank Crawford: No.

Arlo Pear: Frank, I loaned it to you two years ago to cut yor weeds. You haven't cut shit with the weed whacker! What did you do with it? Keep the weed whacker, Frank! Be happy with it because you have to friends! Nobody wants to talk to you!

Perry: Frank, that you?

Frank Crawford: Edwards, Perry! Well choke my chicken!

Perry: One thing you are NOT is a big queen.

Arthur: You're right, I'm butch; I can catch a ball, I genuinely like both my parents, and I hate opera. I don't know why I bother being gay.

Claire Summers: "The truth heals." Who said that?

Perry: I don't know. Some dead, white guy.

Claire Summers: No. You.

Smiley: Fuck you Perry.

Perry: That's right Smiley, "fuck you" covers just about everything!

Perry: The lady's got a secret, don't you? I ain't got no secrets. I ain't got nothing. Except a bike, a truck, and post office box in Clearwater, Florida.

[Perry and April are fighting in a motel parking lot with all the motel guests looking on]

April: I don't even know you, yet you just come inside my house, uninvited, and take my life away!

Perry: Maybe you don't know it, but you did invite me!

April: Oh, go to hell!

Perry: Oh, sweetheart!

April: Oh, fuck you!

Perry: Princess!

April: Cocksucker!

Perry: Sugar!

April: Motherfucker!

Perry: Sweetpea!

April: Bastard!

Perry: Be careful what you say because people around here might think we love each other.

April: You can rot in hell for all I care!

Perry: You're sexy when you're angry.

April: You bastard!

Perry: You already said that!

Perry: [to the motel guests after his argument with April] Sorry for the disturbance folks, but that is one special wacko chick.

Perry: Leave the kid alone.

Michael Lerman: Look at this. William O'Rourke. Father Halliran? William O'Rourke, disappeared July 12, 1952 after attempted suicide.

Perry: They're the same man. William O'Rourke became a priest named Halliran.

Michael Lerman: Yes, but why?

Perry: I just open doors.

Perry: Mr. Wendling, isn't it true that you intend to use this money to put on a Broadway show?

Roger Wendling: A small portion of it, yes.

Perry: And you intend to put this show on with actors living at the Hotel Variety?

Roger Wendling: That's right.

Perry: Isn't it probable that this Broadway venture of yours may turn out to be a failure? Or in the Broadway vernacular, a flop?

Jimmy Clayton: What? With me and the band? I object!

Judge: Young lady, do you realize that you're guilty of contempt of court?

Betsy Brown: I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Judge, but it just made me mad to hear Miss Wendling say those things about my friends. They're not true. They're wonderful actors, just wonderful!

Judge: This young lady doesn't seem to agree with you, Miss Wendling.

Betsy Brown: That's because she never saw them act, did you, Miss Wendling? And if you saw them act, Mr. Judge, if you saw Jimmy and his Jazz Bandits and everyone, you'd think they were wonderful, too!

Perry: Your honor, if it pleases the court...

Judge: Just a minute. I believe this court could be saved a lot of time and argument by following the splendid suggestion that has just been made. It seems the immediate issue in this case is whether the plaintiff's wish to invest his money in a theatrical production is a sound one. I want to see the show right here in this courtroom tomorrow!