Perrier LaPadite Quotes in Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Col. Hans Landa: The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German... more precisely, German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?

Perrier LaPadite: I suppose I would.

Col. Hans Landa: Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?

Perrier LaPadite: Rats spread diseases. They bite people.

Col. Hans Landa: Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?

Perrier LaPadite: Oui.

Col. Hans Landa: Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?

Perrier LaPadite: No.

Col. Hans Landa: But they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?

Perrier LaPadite: It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.

Col. Hans Landa: Ha! However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?

Perrier LaPadite: Probably not.

Col. Hans Landa: I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide. But there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer has brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

Col. Hans Landa: May I smoke my pipe as well?

Perrier LaPadite: Please, Colonel, make yourself at home.

[Hans pulls out a very large pipe five times the size of Perrier's]

Col. Hans Landa: [in French; subtitled] Monsieur LaPadite, I regret to inform you I have exhausted the extent of my French. To continue to speak it so inadequately would only serve to embarrass me. However, I've been lead to believe that you speak English quite well.

Perrier LaPadite: Oui.

Col. Hans Landa: [in English] Well, it just so happens I do as well. This being your house, I ask your permission to switch back to English for the remainder of the conversation.

Col. Hans Landa: Monsieur LaPadite, while I'm very familiar with you and your family, I have no way of knowing if you are familiar with who I am. Are you aware of my existence?

Perrier LaPadite: Yes.

Col. Hans Landa: This is good. Are you aware of the job I've been ordered to carry out in France?

Perrier LaPadite: Yes.

Col. Hans Landa: Please tell me what you've heard?

Perrier LaPadite: I've heard the Führer has put you in charge of rounding up the Jews left in France who are either hiding or passing for gentile.

Col. Hans Landa: The Führer couldn't have said it better himself.

Perrier LaPadite: But the meaning of your visit, pleasant though it is, is mysterious to me. The Germans looked through my house nine months ago for hiding Jews and found nothing.

Col. Hans Landa: I'm aware of that. I read the report on this area. But like any enterprise, when under new management, there's always a slight duplication of efforts. Most of it being a complete waste of time, but it needs to be done nevertheless. I just have a few questions, Monsieur LaPadite. If you can assist me with answers, my department can close the file on your family.

Col. Hans Landa: Monsieur LaPadite, are you aware of the nickname the people of France have given me?

Perrier LaPadite: I have no interest in such things.

Col. Hans Landa: But you're aware of what they call me?

Perrier LaPadite: I'm aware.

Col. Hans Landa: What are you aware of?

Perrier LaPadite: That they call you "The Jew Hunter".

Col. Hans Landa: Precisely! I understand your trepidation in repeating it. Heydrich apparently hates the moniker the good people of Prague have bestowed on him. Actually, why he would hate the name "hangman" is baffling to me. It would appear he has done everything in his power to earn it. I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title, precisely BECAUSE I've earned it.