Penelope Quotes in Deadlier Than the Male (1967)

Carl Petersen: My dears, Mr. Drummond is trying to provoke me.

Penelope: He can provoke me... anytime.

Irma Eckman: You always did have the morals of an alley cat, Penelope.

Penelope: Just because I like men?

Irma Eckman: No, dear. You like anything. Just as long as it isn't yours.

Ercole: [discussing whether Ulysses's arrow hit Hercules's discus dead center] Sorry, you missed it, Ulysses.

Ulysses: It was a bulls-eye. Ask Penolope.

Ercole: No, you missed it.

Ulysses: I'll go find the discus and prove I'm right.

Penelope: You'd have to make half a day's journey to look for it.

Penelope: [to Max] You lied to me! I guessed piano and you said that...

[gasps as Max whisks her around and kisses her]

Max: All Halloween I've been running into someone I used to know.

Penelope: [wearing a pig mask] This someone - she meant a lot to you?

Max: Yes, yes she did.

Penelope: What happened?

Max: I couldn't give her what she wanted.

Penelope: What did she want?

Max: To be free.

[Annie laughs as Penelope puts a pig mask on]

Penelope: What?

Annie: Nothing. It's just nice to see the old you again.

Wanda: Wait! He's still a blue-blood! He can break the curse.

Penelope: Max, I know this face repulses you... And I wouldn't, I wouldn't dream of asking you to accept it.

Max: No... No... No...

Penelope: But this isn't me, the real me is inside here somewhere just waiting to get out and you can make that happen and once the curse is broken I'll be just like anybody else.

Max: What if the curse doesn't get broken? What if the curse can never be broken?

Penelope: Then I'll kill myself. I promise, I promise I will.

Penelope: Marry me, Max. Marry me.

Max: I can't.

Penelope: Get out.

Max: I'm...

Wanda: Get out. Get out.

Penelope: [telling her class her story] And we lived happily ever after - well, happily ever after so far at least.

Child #1: I don't get it. What does it mean?

Penelope: Well, you tell me what you think it means.

Child #2: Rich people stink!

Child #3: It's always the mothers fault.

Child #4: It's not the power of the curse - it's the power you give the curse.

Penelope: Used to? You don't do that anymore? What are you doing instead?

Max: [after a pause] Beating you at chess.

Penelope: I warned you I'd kill her.

Max: Well that's great, because, you know what? As soon as my guys hear what you've done...

Penelope: The game will be over, your Queen'll be dead.

Max: My King's still pretty... active. You know?

Penelope: Once the Queen is dead, the King is useless.

Max: What's that about?

Penelope: I don't know. Maybe he's too depressed to fight. He really loved her, you know.

Penelope: There are three hundred and twenty-six first editions in that room. Of those, three hundred are worth over fifty thousand, a dozen or so are worth over twenty-five thousand and I'm afraid there's only one that's valued under a hundred.

Max: Only one, huh?

Penelope: A little novel, written by a little nobody that never amounted to anything.

Max: You don't say, under a hundred?

Penelope: I'm afraid so, and I'm afraid that means that it's time for

[interrupted]

Max: But your favorite just the same.

Penelope: Helaborasoreantalis. They're amazing; they bloom even in the winter.

Annie: That's cool.

Penelope: They just pop up without any help from anyone.

Annie: [laughs] Kind of like my ex-boyfriend, if you know what I mean.

Jessica Wilhern: [Penelope is digging into junk food] What are you doing?

Penelope: Just speeding things up.

Jessica Wilhern: Oh, so now you're just going to make a pig of yourself?

Penelope: No, that's already been done for me.

Jessica Wilhern: [Slaps food out of Penelope's hand] Stop it!

Penelope: ...That was the last of the Ho-Hos!

Annie: So what are you hiding from the law or is it just a bad nose job?

Penelope: Mhm, bad nose job.

Journalist #1: Do you have any other pig parts?

Penelope: No!

Journalist #2: With such a large nose, do you smell better than the rest of us?

Penelope: [laughs] You tell me.

Jessica Wilhern: Honey, just think about what you're doing. This is the moment we have worked so hard for.

Penelope: I said go away!

Jessica Wilhern: Sweetheart, please! Please, we are one yes away from a whole new life, a whole new you!

Penelope: But I don't want a whole new me, mother!

Jessica Wilhern: Sweetheart please, please.

Penelope: I like myself the way I am!

[first lines]

Penelope: My parents were born into the good life. Old money, blue blooded, society sweethearts.

Penelope: I felt the rush of a thousand heartbreaks.

Jessica Wilhern: Penelope, just one man, one man.

Penelope: And he'll run too! They always run. Why can't you accept that? For seven years I've been watching them run. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you?

Jessica Wilhern: I'm sorry, but we just can't quit.

Penelope: We can, because no matter how much I want to believe there's one man who won't run away, one man who... who...

[last lines]

Penelope: [talking to her class] Ok, after break, we'll go explore and see what you can collect. Stay together!

Penelope: I go to Oral Roberts.

Juan Castillo: Oral Roberts? Is that like Anal Johnson? Because I have done that a few times. Or was it Dirty Sanchez? Yes. It was that.

Penelope: [on top of Juan, and talking in a creepy soft voice] You have been very bad today, Juan.

Juan: What did I do?

Penelope: When you were supposed to be in the maze, you were eating watermelon.

Juan: [shocked] How did you know that?

Penelope: Because I see everything, Juan.

Penelope: Juan, you're bleeding!

Juan: You should see the other hombre.

Dana: So what happened? Come on, tell us, come on, come on, come on!

Ferris: He compared us to Romeo and Juliet. We had some chilled champagne.

Dana: An aphrodisiac! I told you about those.

Sunshine: Did, did it hurt?

Ferris: No!

Cinder: Such a child.

Penelope: Did you see him naked?

Ferris: No. It was dark.

Sunshine: Don't be disgusting.

Chubby: Then how'd he...?

Ferris: He didn't want to embarrass me so he turned off the light.

Carrots: Oh, I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!

Dana: How cavalier! Come on, come on, come on!

Ferris: It was perfect! The darkness enveloped us.

Dana: This is better than books! I gotta tell you! This is great!

Cinder: The truth always is.

Penelope: Where'd you get that coat?

Chico: That'sa my coat.

Penelope: That's your coat?

Chico: That'sa my coat.

Penelope: But it doesn't fit you.

Chico: I know. I had it made to order.

Penelope: Tell me, what are you doing tonight?

Chico: Maybe you gotta good idea, huh?

Penelope: Well, don't you dare come to Room 320 at eleven o'clock.

Chico: Awright, I come half-past ten.

Penelope: [about her sons disrespect] That's NOT the way you're supposed to behave in front of guests!

Penelope: [about the Reaper] Pray for our souls, Bug. He's coming.

Bug: Jesus?

Penelope: If things get too hot, just turn on the prayer conditioning.

Penelope: What men will do to you in prison is nothing compared to what demons will do to you in hell, on beds of fire, for all eternity.

Brandon: I'm gonna get you for this, Penelope.

Penelope: Please remember, You put the apple and the snake in one small garden.

Penelope: We're all doomed, Bug. It's the human condition.

Penelope: British? What a lot of use that is - we don't even know who's won the war!