Pendlebury Quotes in The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

Pendlebury: By Jove, Holland, it's a good job we're both honest men.

Henry Holland: It is indeed, Pendlebury.

Pendlebury: Well, you might as well know. I was lying. I am a thief. It was madness to attempt it. We weren't cut out for crime, either of us.

Policeman: We?

Pendlebury: My partner and I.

Sidewalk Vendor: Your partner? Here, if you're working with the fence who's got them other pictures...

Policeman: Shh! Carry on.

Pendlebury: Oh I make no excuses. All my life it's been my ambition to surround myself with rare and beautiful things. Suddenly faced with this golden opportunity...

Sidewalk Vendor: Here, you call that picture of mine rare and beautiful?

Pendlebury: Since you will keep on interrupting me, you ought to know it's a charming example of an early Rochet, while he was still under the influence of Corot.

Sidewalk Vendor: Oh yeah? How much is it worth?

Pendlebury: Ten pound, to those who can afford it.

Sidewalk Vendor: Oh blimey. I've had it marked up for five bob.

Pendlebury: [replying to Shorty's statement that he and Lackery will wait for Holland and Pendlebury to return from France with their shares of the proceeds] You mean you both trust us?

Shorty: Oh, come off it, gov. You're as straight a pair of gentlemen as I ever worked for.

Lackery: Hear hear!

Miss Evesham: [greeting Holland and Pendlebury on their tipsy return from a celebratory dinner] You naughty men, waking us all up at this hour.

Pendlebury: A thousand pardons.

Henry Holland: [Restraining Pendlebury as he's about to enter] Wipe your feet.

Pendlebury: A little celebration.

Miss Evesham: Already? Your holidays don't start till tomorrow.

Henry Holland: Today is tomorrow.

Pendlebury: "O polished perturbation! Golden care! That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide!" Henry IV, part two.

Miss Evesham: Good night, you naughty men. Don't forget to switch off.

Henry Holland: Pendlebury.

Pendlebury: Yeah?

Henry Holland: Pendlebury.

Pendlebury: What?

Henry Holland: May I call you Alfred?

Pendlebury: Alfred? Call me Al. And I'll call you... Henry, isn't it.

Henry Holland: A name I never cared for.

Pendlebury: Hm?

Henry Holland: Mm. Call me Dutch.

Pendlebury: Dutch. Yes.

[They shake hands]

Pendlebury: Good night, Dutch.

Henry Holland: Good night, Al.

Pendlebury: Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these - it might have been.

Pendlebury: I propagate British cultural depravity.

Pendlebury: Guns, yes. It's essential we're armed. Here we are. Here's yours.

Henry Holland: Is it loaded?

Pendlebury: Yes. It's a present from Margate. It fires a stick of rock.

Henry Holland: I must apologize, gentlemen, for the somewhat informal manner in which we effected our introduction, but my colleague and I have a certain proposition which we'd like to put to you. I might almost call it a gilt-edged proposition, although paradoxically it does entail a measure of risk. However, when I quote the anticipated dividend, I'm sure that you will both agree with me that the...

[There is a noise at the open window]

Pendlebury: Not another one, surely.

Henry Holland: Tell him we're suited.

[Holland enters the yard and sees Lackery wobble past on a bicycle]

Henry Holland: You're teaching the wrong man!

Pendlebury: Well, I had to change him over. Shorty can't ride a bicycle.

[Lackery falls]

Henry Holland: Doesn't look as if he can either.

Shorty: We're learning him.

Henry Holland: Why couldn't you learn Shorty?

Pendlebury: Because Lackery's color-blind.

Henry Holland: What's that got to do with it?

Pendlebury: Oh my dear Holland, do use your intelligence! If a policeman were to come along and see a green sunset over a purple sea...

Henry Holland: All right, all right, spare me the details.

Henry Holland: A minute later, the guard will appear around this corner, and you, Pendlebury, will detain him for at least half a minute. Ask him for a light, ask him the way, ask him anything, but keep him there, we must have those thirty seconds.

Pendlebury: Edgar.

Henry Holland: I beg your pardon?

Pendlebury: Isn't one supposed to say that when one's being briefed? On my rare visits to the cinema...

Henry Holland: The word is "roger."

Pendlebury: Oh, roger. How silly of me.

Pendlebury: Edgar!

Henry Holland: I beg your pardon.

Pendlebury: Err... isn't one supposed to say that when one is being briefed? On my rare visits to the kinema...

Henry Holland: The word is roger.

Pendlebury: Now it's all over, I suppose I may dare say it's been a most remarkable coup.

Shorty: The biggest job of its kind since One-Eyed Dobson got away with the GIs' pay packets. Two million dollars, Grosvenor Square, 'forty-five.

Henry Holland: That was before devaluation. And this is one million pounds.

Shorty: Oh, that's right. Blimey. We've got the record!

Pendlebury: Ah, "gay, sprightly, land of mirth and social ease."

Customs Official: L'argent.

Pendlebury: Oh, sadist torturers! Money.

Customs Official: Your foreign currency? What do you have?

Pendlebury: There!

[throws his money in the air]

Pendlebury: Count it!

Lackery: Bellamy's? In Bromley?

Shorty: That's right. Last June. Twelver.

Lackery: I was casing that joint the night you got pinched.

Shorty: Well, what do you know? Shorty Fisher.

Lackery: Nice to meet you.

Pendlebury: Excuse me, I may be a bit slow but do I understand that in fact, you two are both professional criminals?

Shorty: Well, what else do you take us for, rutty snoopers?

Lackery: What's the setup?

Pendlebury: Run. Run, Dutch. Run.

Pendlebury: There's someone else out there.

Henry Holland: Tell them we're suited.