Pee-wee Herman Quotes in Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)

Pee-wee Herman: [as hotel desk clerk; in deep voice] Paging Mr. Herman! Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk!

Mr. Buxton: [after Pee-wee and Francis wrestle in the bathtub and Pee-wee is trying to open a window] Pee-wee, Pee-wee! What is going on here?

Pee-wee Herman: He's a thief! He stole my bike!

Francis: You liar! I swear I didn't do it, Dad!

Mr. Buxton: Pee-wee, this is a serious accusation. Do you have any proof?

Pee-wee Herman: Well, not exactly.

Mr. Buxton: Pee-wee, the Buxtons are not thieves. Just look at him.

[Francis gives a sad puppy face]

Mr. Buxton: He couldn't have stolen your bike. He hasn't left this house since yesterday. We've been setting up Francis' birthday plans all day.

Pee-wee Herman: Gee, I guess I was wrong. We don't have to involve the authorities in this matter, do we, Mr. Buxton? It was an honest mistake, and I'm very sorry.

Mr. Buxton: Well... I still think you should apologise to Francis, and then I want to see the two of you shake hands.

Pee-wee Herman: I'm sorry, Francis.

[Shakes his hand, and reaches for his trick gum]

Pee-wee Herman: Here, would you care for some gum?

[Francis takes a piece of trick gum]

Pee-wee Herman: Would you like some, Mr. Buxton?

Mr. Buxton: Oh, thank you.

Pee-wee Herman: Spearmint or fruit?

Mr. Buxton: Uh, fruit please.

[Takes a piece of trick gum]

Pee-wee Herman: [leaving] Well... goodbye!

Mr. Buxton: Goodbye.

Francis: You do believe me, don't you, Dad?

[as Francis chews the spearmint trick gum, the saliva in his mouth turns black. Mr Buxton screams as he realizes his own fruit trick gum is spicy]

Mickey: [comes out of the window of a prison bus after seeing the first part of Pee-wee's movie] Great so far, Pee-wee. Action-packed!

Pee-wee Herman: [hands Mickey his refreshments] One soda. One foot-long.

Policeman #2: Hold it.

[he sees a small metal file and picks it out of the footlong]

Mickey: Good try, Pee-wee.

Pee-wee Herman: Look, Mickey!

Mickey: [after seeing a scene in the movie with Pee-wee] Wow! That's fantastic, Pee-wee!

Pee-wee Herman: Thanks!

Pee-wee Herman: Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?

Mrs. Rose: Corduroy pillows? No.

Pee-wee Herman: Ha! I'm surprised. 'Cause they're making headlines! Get it? Headlines!

Mrs. Rose: Oh!

[laughs]

Pee-wee Herman: A traffic light! Just like I've seen in National Geographic!

[takes a flash picture of it]

Construction Worker: I'm taking this biscuit with me. I love it.

Pee-wee Herman: Why don't you marry it then?

Pee-wee Herman: L.A.T.T.I.H.T.B.G! Look at the time, I have to be going!

Farmer Brown: [all taking a hand around the table] Would you like to say a few words, Pee-wee?

Pee-wee Herman: Uh, sure. Encyclopedia. Pimple. And uh, hairball.

Farmer Brown: Amen.

[first lines]

Pee-wee Herman: [sitting on a log in the dark woods] Wow, I can't believe we're already saying goodbye.

Voice of Yul: It's been great getting to know you, Pee-wee Herman. Earth sure is a great planet. Your art, music, pizza...

Pee-wee Herman: You sure took to the customs fast.

Voice of Yul: Thanks for showing them to me.

Pee-wee Herman: I've loved these last two weeks.

Voice of Yul: I wish I didn't have to go.

Pee-wee Herman: Me, too.

Voice of Yul: Come with me, back to my planet. Meet my family and friends. Live with me.

Pee-wee Herman: I can't. I need to stay here with the people of Earth.

Voice of Yul: I'll always remember you too, Yul.

Pee-wee Herman: I'm gonna miss my new best friend. I'll never forget you, Pee-wee.

[repeated line]

Pee-wee Herman: You seem really busy. Let me let you let me run.

Pee-wee Herman: You know I don't want to go anywhere, or try anything new.

Pee-wee Herman: What can I get you?

Joe Manganiello: Milkshake.

Pee-wee Herman: Flavor?

Joe Manganiello: Let's say chocolate.

Pee-wee Herman: Sure. 3, 2, 1,

Pee-wee Herman, Joe Manganiello: chocolate.

Pee-wee Herman: I've never each been on an airplane.

Joe Manganiello: No! The only thing you're gonna learn about yourself on a plane is if you like the honey-roasted peanuts better than the plain salted. If you're really hungry, the open road is a smorgasbord of life experience. A few days on the open road is worth a lifetime in Fairville. Way I see it, Pee-wee Herman, you got a choice to make. Stick around here,

[starts his motorcycle]

Joe Manganiello: or live a little...

Pee-wee Herman: [to his bank robber captors] Listen ladies, it's been real and it's been fun. Has it been *real* fun? Nope. Mm mm.

Pee-wee Herman: I gotta be on my way. How do you get out of here?

Grizzly Bear Daniels: You don't! Not without a seasoned guide. Someone who knows these woods like the back of their weathered hand. Someone who's lived with nature, since they decided to live alone, off the grid as a hermit, and leave the dog-eat-dog world to certified public accounting.

Ezekiel: The Amish people live a simple life.

Pee-wee Herman: Gesundheit.

Pee-wee Herman: I did everything you said, Joe. I broke rules. I broke hearts. I lived a little. I wanted to find out who I was. But I found out all right. A stupid little baby crying at the bottom of this crappy well.

Pee-wee Herman: Aren't we going to the party.

Joe Manganiello: Pee-wee, we *are* the party.

Pee-wee Herman: Hey, you guys look a little familiar to me!

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Hey, you smell kinda familiar.

Pee-wee Herman: Ha, ha, ha. I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, if you don't mind! If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and do it?

Gloria's Mom: Yeah, go up there and tell a joke!

Pee-wee Herman: That's right! You come up here and do it!

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Okay!

Chong: Yeah, man!

Pee-wee Herman: Fuck this. I'm going somewhere else. Hey, hey, here!

[gives Red the finger and storms off]