Paulie Bleeker Quotes in Juno (2007)

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?

Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...

Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.

Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.

Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.

Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.

Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.

Paulie Bleeker: Would you shut up?

Juno MacGuff: I'm going to really start looking like a dork soon. Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?

Paulie Bleeker: I always think you're cute. I think you're beautiful.

Juno MacGuff: Yea, you just take Soupy-Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You're being really immature... You have no reason to be mad at me, I mean, you know, you broke MY heart. I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off, I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.

Juno MacGuff: What? Cause I got bored and had sex with you and I didn't want to like marry you?

Paulie Bleeker: Like I'd marry you! You'd be the meanest wife ever, okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and then 'The Blair Witch Project' was coming on Starz and you were like 'I haven't seen this since it came out and if so we should watch it' and then 'but oh, no, we should just make out instead la la la'

Juno MacGuff: You just take Katrina the douchepacker to prom. I'm sure you two will have like a real bitchin' time.

Paulie Bleeker: Well, I still have your underwear!

Paulie Bleeker: You seem to be getting pregnanter these days.

[last lines]

Juno MacGuff: As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And I know people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but - I guess normalcy isn't really our style.

Paulie Bleeker: Hey.

Juno MacGuff: Hey.

Paulie Bleeker: Ready?

Juno MacGuff: Yeah.

[both sing and play]

Juno MacGuff: Who's ready for some chromo magnificence?

Girl Lab Partner: Yeah, I have a menstrual headache. So I can't really look at bright lights today.

Guy Lab Partner: Amanda, I told you to go to the infirmary and lie down. You never listen!

Girl Lab Partner: No, Josh. Because I don't take orders. Not from you and not from any man.

Guy Lab Partner: You know you've been acting like this ever since I got back from visiting my brother in Mankato... I already told you nothing happened.

Paulie Bleeker: Well I'm going to set up the apparatus. Um, Juno would you like to plug in the Bunsen burner?

Juno MacGuff: It's my pleasure.

Girl Lab Partner: I'm going to the infirmary.

Guy Lab Partner: Good. Call me when you get off the rag!

Girl Lab Partner: Fine! Call me when you learn how to love someone instead of cheat at your brother's college. Just because you had four Smirnoff ices and a bottle of snow peak peach flavored Boones.

Guy Lab Partner: Good, Amanda. I'll be sure to do that. I'll make a note of it!

[Amanda walks away]

Juno MacGuff: ...I've actually heard the the snow peak peach flavor is the best flavor of Boone's.

[Josh nods his head in agreement]

Juno MacGuff: Isn't that... right, bleak?

Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.

Paulie Bleeker: Katrina's not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face.

Juno MacGuff: I'm pregnant.

Paulie Bleeker: What should we do?

Juno MacGuff: Well, I should just... I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy... It can often lead to an infant.

Paulie Bleeker: Typically, yeah... Yeah that's what happens when our mothers and teachers get pregnant.

Juno MacGuff: So guess what.

Paulie Bleeker: [hesitant] What?... I don't know...

Juno MacGuff: I'm pregnant.

Paulie Bleeker: [to Juno] Can we make out now?

Paulie Bleeker: Come on, let me carry your bag.

Juno MacGuff: Oh, what's another ten pounds?

Paulie Bleeker: Did you put like, a hundred things of tic-tacs in my mailbox?

Juno MacGuff: ...Um, yeah, that was me.

Paulie Bleeker: Why?

Juno MacGuff: ...Well you know, because they're your fav - and I figured you could never have enough of your favorite one calorie breath mints.

Paulie Bleeker: I've wanted this for a really long time.

Juno MacGuff: I know.

Paulie Bleeker: [exhales] Wizard.

Juno MacGuff: Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina Devore?

Paulie Bleeker: Uhh... hi...

Vijay: You should grow a mustache?

Paulie Bleeker: I can't.

Vijay: Yeah, me neither.

Juno MacGuff: What about Katrina De Voort? You could totally go out with Katrina De Voort.

Paulie Bleeker: No, I don't like Katrina. She smells like soup. Have you ever smelled her? I mean, her whole house smells like soup!