Paul Doyle Quotes in Pain & Gain (2013)

Paul Doyle: Why'd you make me do that to you, Victor? I have responsibilities! Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts! One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!

[from trailer]

Paul Doyle: You said no violence!

Daniel Lugo: And I meant it when I said it, I swear to God...

Paul Doyle: I can NOT kill!

Daniel Lugo: Duly noted! Look, I promise when this is over, we'll all go camping, OK?

Paul Doyle: OK...

Motel Clerk: Why would you want to have your honeymoon here?

Paul Doyle: [Gets out baseball bat] Oh, this place has a lot of fond memories for me. The very first time I bashed a man's skull in was here, and it was a mess! But that bat was aluminum. I've switched to wood. So you should get your ass out here right now or I'll bash your brains all over that wall with one fucking swing.

Paul Doyle: Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts, one of them is knocking someone the fuck out!

Adrian Doorbal: Hey, is that breast milk?

Paul Doyle: What?

Adrian Doorbal: Is that breast milk?

Paul Doyle: Why would that be breast milk?

Adrian Doorbal: 'Cause this is. Listen: You take this, you put it in there, and you got the real HGH. I'm talkin' about a steroid shake. I got this pregnant chick I buy it from - she real clean, too.

Paul Doyle: No...

Adrian Doorbal: No, no, no, for real, she just got her tests and everything. Oh, my - You ever suck a pregnant woman titty? Oh, my god, this so good. Come on, try some.

[off no answer]

Adrian Doorbal: It'll make you great, man. You already big, but you could be bigGER. You know? I'm big - I'mma be swole, though. Walk sideways through doors. You want some? We can be titty brothers.

[laughs]

Adrian Doorbal: Yeah!

Paul Doyle: I'm gonna go with "No." Excuse me.

[from trailer]

Paul Doyle: We go through with this, nobody gets hurt right?

Daniel Lugo: No, man! We snatch him, we grab him, signs a few signature, we give him a protein shake! He dunnit even know what happened! I watched a lot of movies Paul, I know what I'm doing!

[Doyle is in a warehouse full of sex toys]

Paul Doyle: [to Lugo over a walkie-talkie] Didn't you say your friend kept athletic supplies in his warehouse?

Daniel Lugo: Do we have to have this conversation now? Over. What's the issue?

Paul Doyle: I'm looking at a lot of homo-stuff right now, Patriot One.

[looks at a male blow-up doll]

Paul Doyle: A *lot*.

Paul Doyle: There is life after death. Of that, I am sure. But I'm also pretty sure dead people no longer need their stuff.

[from trailer]

Paul Doyle: They got my toe! You can see the bone!

[holds up his toe in plastic bag]

Paul Doyle: [sees his pet chihuahua] Hey, little buddy, you hungry?

[gives his toe to the chihuahua]

Paul Doyle: You know why habit rhymes with rabbit? Because your life goes down a rabbit hole.

[from trailer]

Paul Doyle: You can't just kidnap a guy and take his things! That is so illegal!

Daniel Lugo: Victor Kershaw is a criminal prick, who deserves bad stuff to happen to him!