Paul Altman Quotes in This Is Where I Leave You (2014)

Paul Altman: Dad always had a soft spot for him.

Judd Altman: I think he liked us because we're a lot like him; he liked Phillip because he's nothing like him.

Wendy Altman: You need to put a baby in that woman, like yesterday.

Paul Altman: I'm working on it.

Wendy Altman: Have you had your man parts checked?

Paul Altman: Come on, not now Wendy.

Wendy Altman: You may have emptied them over the years... My room was next to yours... My room was next to yours.

Phillip Altman: I'm not selling you my shares. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I want to run the store with you.

Paul Altman: How exactly do you think you can add to the business?

Phillip Altman: I can help you grow it. New locations, and, and expanded lines. What?

Paul Altman: The only thing you've ever grown is weed.

Hillary Altman: And he was very good at it.

Paul Altman: [On phone to Annie] Calm down... Calm down... CALM DOWN. I'm coming home, I'm coming home.

[to everyone]

Paul Altman: I have to go have sex.

Judd Altman: Oh.

Wendy Altman: You know, in some cultures, people actually enjoy sex.

Paul Altman: Well, not when it's on a schedule.

Paul Altman: Judd dated Annie for 6 months, I've been married to her for 6 years. At what point are you going to stop being an asshole about it.

Phillip Altman: I don't know, maybe at the point it stops bugging the shit out of you.

Phillip Altman: Ah, well, we would be partners actually, after I bought Judd's shares.

Paul Altman: Buy? Little brother, you can't even buy a suit.

Paul Altman: Dad would have hated this funeral. It's just one of the things I loved about him. He would have been counting the minuets, so that he could go down the hill, turn on the game, and he would have talked about how full of shit everyone was, and didn't really miss him. He would have been wrong. I do miss him.