Patty Bernstein Quotes in The Jerk (1979)

Patty Bernstein: [provocatively] You know what I wanna do?

Navin R. Johnson: What's that?

Patty Bernstein: Guess *your* weight.

[starts squeezing on him everywhere]

Navin R. Johnson: Hey, you're really trying to be accurate!

Navin R. Johnson: [about Patty's trailer] What a great place!

Patty Bernstein: [belches]

Navin R. Johnson: Now, Marie is a type a person that if you gotta...

Patty Bernstein: [interrupting] If this gash doesn't get her buns outta here I am gonna drive this bike up her butt!

Navin R. Johnson: ...while Patty tends to be more direct.

Patty Bernstein: Give me a bite of that corn dog.

Navin R. Johnson: What about germs?

Patty Bernstein: Put a rubber on it.

[Navin at Patty's trailer... ]

Patty Bernstein: You know what I'd like to do?

Navin R. Johnson: What?

Patty Bernstein: Guess your weight.

Navin R. Johnson: Hey, that would be interesting for me. No one has tried to guess MY weight. You see, I guess their weight, so it would be sort of a...

Patty Bernstein: Put your arms up.

Navin R. Johnson: This will give me a whole other perspective on this...

[Patty begins squeezing his backside]

Navin R. Johnson: Hey, you're really trying to be accurate... Is it getting hot in here?... Wait a minute! What's happening to my special purpose?

Patty Bernstein: What's your special purpose?

Navin R. Johnson: Well, when I was a kid my mom told me THAT was my special purpose! And someday I'd find out what my special purpose was!

Patty Bernstein: Today's the day!

[Whole trailer shaking as Patty "deflowers" Navin]

Navin R. Johnson: Hey, this is like a ride!