Patrick "Kitten" Braden Quotes in Breakfast on Pluto (2005)


Patrick "Kitten" Braden Quotes:

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: If I wasn't a transvestite terrorist, would you marry me?

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Not many people can take the tale of Patrick Braden, aka St. Kitten, who strutted the catwalks, face lit by a halo of flashbulbs as "oh!" she shrieks, "I told you, from my best side darlings."

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: The fantastic tale of Eily Bergen.

    Bertie: I can't wait to hear the ending.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But you haven't even heard the start.

    Bertie: I can't wait to hear that either.

  • Mr. Silky String: And just who is this "Phantom Lady"?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, it's my mother really, I call her that... to pretend it's a story... that's happening to someone else, you see.

    Mr. Silky String: Why do you pretend that?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Beacause otherwise I might cry and never stop.

    Mr. Silky String: If you cried, I'd make you stop.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, You would?... Oh how kind kind sir.

    Mr. Silky String: Yes. I'd definitely make you stop.

  • Billy Hatchett: [finding that Patrick has taken all of the guns] Fuck. Don't you know what this means? Do-do you know what these guys are like, Paddy?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Don't let this come between us, Billy.

    Billy Hatchett: Shut up! Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do? Fucking Jesus!

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.

    Billy Hatchett: Where are they, Paddy? Tell me, where are they?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Now, what is this you mean, my darling?

    Billy Hatchett: The guns, you little fucking whore! Where are they? The guns! It's all too fucking serious! Don't go fucking me around.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, all of a sudden, everybody's getting serious! Serious, serious, serious.

    Billy Hatchett: I'm not fucking joking, Patrick! Where are they?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I told you to call me Kitten.

    Billy Hatchett: Don't fucking know me. You don't know where I've gone. And if they come, if they fucking come, you tell them nothing. I mean nothing.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Whatever you say, darling.

    Billy Hatchett: You're way out of your league, Patrick. You don't know what you're dealing with. Don't fucking know.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, I do. I know, all right. I knew you were only joking about the roses... and the sweets, too, probably. But it was nice while it lasted.

    [Hatchett drives off]

  • Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?

    Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.

    Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: But Micky is devious and no matter how much you tell him, he simply won't stay down!

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And the other thing about the Phantom Lady was, Bert, she realized, in the city that never sleeps...

    Bertie: What did she realize, Kitten?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: That all the songs she'd listened to, all the love songs, that they were only songs.

    Bertie: What's wrong with that?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Nothing, if you don't believe in them. But she did, you see. She believed in enchanted evenings, and she believed that a small cloud passed overhead and cried down on a flower bed, and she even believed there was breakfast to be had...

    Bertie: Where?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: On Pluto. The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I knew you were only joking about the roses. And the sweeties. But it was nice while it lasted.

  • Bertie: You know, Kitten, I made a decision a long time ago.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: What decision was that?

    Bertie: That I wasn't destined for sentimental side of things. But if I ever did let myself fall for someone, I think it would be a girl like you.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Bertie, please, I have to stop you. There's something you should know.

    Bertie: Or maybe what I should say is, it would be a girl not a million miles away from where I'm standing. What's the matter, Princess?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie, I'm not a girl.

    Bertie: Oh, I knew that, Princess.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: You did?

    Bertie: Of course. What I said was, it would be a girl like you.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh... I do believe I have a small elfin dwelling on Wimbledon Common.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh serious, serious, serious!

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Dear Sir Unseen, I know my music and I am willing to bet you ten times whatever pathetic price you paid to get in this place that the dog's tail is 'waggely.' Now I want to hear you bark.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Patricia Kitten, aka Deep Throat, had penetrated the deepest recesses of the Republican sphincter... with her secret anti-terrorist spray, named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's lucky number.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [when threatened by two IRA men] Oh, come on then, just do it. I've nothing left to live for in this stupid serious world.

    Horse Killane: Ah, fuck him. He's not worth a bullet, the mental nancy boy.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Why can't you be bothered killing nancy boys? You kill everyone else.

    Jackie Timlin: I'm fucking warning you. Do you know what you're doing here? Are you on dope?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I wish that I was, Mr. Killing Man. Why, do you have any?

    Jackie Timlin: You're way out of your league, sunshine.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Not that again - "Out of your league., out of your league. Oh, you're in over your head, in over your head." Oh, for heaven's sake. Surely you've one bullet to spare between yous?

  • 1st Biker: When I ride my hog, you think I'm riding the road? No way, man. I'm travelling from the past into the future with a druid at my back.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Druid man or druid woman?

    1st Biker: That doesn't matter. What matters is the journey. You know where it goes, baby?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Where?

    1st Biker: We'll visit the stars and journey to Mars, finding our breakfast... on Pluto.

  • Charlie: You said it'd be a disaster, like you.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Worse, probably.

    Charlie: But I love you, you fucking disaster.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: If I volunteer, Irwin, can I have pink glasses, please?

  • Eily Bergin: Oh, I'm all wet, Father. What are you doing down there, Father? Are you playig squidgy with the Fairy Liquid?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over, while writing the essay about his conception as he imagines it in class] But she was soon to realise it wasn't Fairy Liquid he'd been playing with down there.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [aloud, writing the words below his finished essay] The End.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over] No, it wasn't Fairy Liquid at all.

  • Charlie: Saint Kitten?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Mm-hm. He or she was an acolyte of St. Patrick. Wore a dress. As did St. Patrick, actually - a hairy dress. Quite ruined her complexion.

  • Mrs. Coyle: [in needlework class] And they're for your sister, Patrick?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Mm-hm. She really needs a bit of glamour in her life, Mrs. Coyle. But then again... don't we all?

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [voice over] But did true love save Kitten from the hands of the beast, in that worst of all fairy tales? No. What saved Kitten was her precious perfume spray, bought for £2.99 in Roches Stores on Henry Street before she left her beloved Emerald Isle.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: John Joe! John Joe, woohoo! John Joe! Not a Womble anymore?

    John Joe Kenny: Don't talk to me about fuckin' Wombles. I'm in the Tower of London now. 30 smackers in the paw, boy. No questions asked. They're looking for a Mary Queen of Scots. Would you be up for it?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: They'd chop my head off surely.

  • Charlie: What would it turn out like, Paddy? You know what I mean, don't you?

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: It'd be an absolute disaster. Like me.

    Nurse: Now... I want you to read this leaflet. It outlines all aspects of the termiation procedure.

    Charlie: Termination? You mean this is an abortion clinic?

    Nurse: Yes, of course it is.

    Charlie: Oh. I thought it was a fertility clinic.

    [gets up and leaves]

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: [to the nurse] I think she's changed her mind. Thank you.

  • Patrick "Kitten" Braden: I just want to belong. I'd be your best prisoner. I'd cook and I'd clean. And I'd sweep and I'd iron all the uniforms.

  • Father Liam: You have your mother's eyes. Do you know that, Patrick. The colour of the ocean beyond Rosses Point.

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: You took her there?

    Father Liam: Many times. Things... could have been so different...

    Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Ssh. Don't say anything. Because you know the strangest thing? I went looking for her. But I found you.

Browse more character quotes from Breakfast on Pluto (2005)