Patient Quotes in Die Another Day (2002)

Patient: What the hell do you want? I don't need a goddamn wheelchair.

James Bond: No?

[punches him]

James Bond: You do now.

[wearing a white lab coat, Harrison enters a deserted hospital emergency room when suddenly, injured people pour into the area from all directions]

Paramedic #1: [voice] A volcano has erupted!

Paramedic #2: [voice] Tornado!

Paramedic: [voice] Earthquake!

Patient: [voice] El Nino!

Man: [voice] Herpies!

Hospital Visitor: [voice] An ocean liner just hit an iceburg!

[the dentist is getting ready to pull a patient's tooth when Nigel flies into the window. The dentist spins around, ripping the patient's tooth out]

Patient: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Dentist: Oh... well, that's ONE way to pull a tooth...

[in the Bronx VA hospital]

Ron Kovic: This place is a fuckin' slum!

Marvin: You want out of here, man? Fine. We take that leg of yours, and we can get you out of here in two weeks!

Ron Kovic: I want my leg.

Marvin: Why?

Ron Kovic: I want my leg!

Marvin: Why? You can't feel it no how!

Ron Kovic: (incredulous and angry) It's my leg! I want my leg, you understand? Can't you understand that? All's I'm sayin' is that I want to be treated like a human being! I fought for my country! I am a Vietnam veteran! I fought for my country!

Patient: [off-camera] Shut the fuck up!

Ron Kovic: And I think that I deserve to be treated... decent!

Doctor: [Aladeen rewrote the language so his name means both "positive" and "negative"] Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?

Patient: The Aladeen news?

Doctor: You're HIV-Aladeen.

[first lines]

Laura Pehlke: [parrot repeatedly saying "earth quake" in the background] Hi, I'm Laura. Sorry I'm late. I saw you you the last time you were here, right?

Patient: Uh, no, maybe a year or two ago. Uh, listen, I need to be at work by...

Laura Pehlke: Don't worry, I'm gonna get you all polished up and out of here in no time.

[first lines]

Patient: This is the best my back has felt in three years. Joseph, you're a genius.

Joseph: That's my job. I'm a surgeon. But I'm no genius.

Prison Ward Patient: Y'know, I know there are people who are normal.

Dr. Margaret Ford: Are there?

Patient: Yes, there are. But...

Dr. Margaret Ford: But what?

Patient: But I don't know what those people do.

Rudy Mackenzie: I've been approached by the Federal Trade Organization.

Dr. Thomas Becker: And what have they approached you about, Mr. Mackenzie?

Rudy Mackenzie: Ah... and this is nuts, but they have asked me to head up the Organization for the Organized!

Dr. Thomas Becker: The Organization... for the Organized?

Rudy Mackenzie: Yeah, you've heard of them?

Dr. Thomas Becker: No, Mr. Mackenzie, I have not.

Patient: That's because there is no such organization, you idiot!

Rudy Mackenzie: That is categorically not true; that is *blatantly* and *manifestly* not true! They have asked me to lead them, and if you've heard of them then they wouldn't be hush hush, would they?

Dr. Thomas Becker: What do the rest of you think?

Jack Starks: Well, uh... I know they exist.

Dr. Thomas Becker: And how is that?

Jack Starks: When I was in the Gulf, the Organization... was recruiting the organized.

Dr. Thomas Becker: Is that a fact, Mr. Starks? Because if it's not, it doesn't help Mr. Mackenzie.

Jack Starks: It is a fact, bona fide and classified.

Rudy Mackenzie: I knew it, I knew it! Those little *fuckers* are everywhere!

Jack Starks: They only recruit the best, Mackenzie.

Patient: A lot of smart women think too much to look good, and talk too much to fuck well.

Patient: I'm *way* too afraid to even *approach* a woman that might be on my intellectual level. I know what you're gonna say. It's not 'coz I'm afraid she'll reject me, I'm afraid I'll reject her.

Patient: You don't know how *crazy* you make me.

Julie: Well, then I guess I'm not doing my job, am I?

Julie: What happened between us was an incredible beach of professionalism, and is not the way I want to conduct myself.

Patient: Really? Not even a little bit?