Patch Quotes in The Ice Pirates (1984)

Maida: [after killing Patch's assistant] I think you owe the lady and me an apology

Patch: [smiles] My apologies.

Maida: [slices off his eye patch] You didn't sound to sincere to me.

Patch: I'm sorry.

Parrot: Don't believe him. He's lying.

Patch: Hey I lost my eye for this gang

Cadpig: Old Thunderbolt's the greatest dog in the whole world.

Patch: He's even better than Dad.

Penny: No dog's better than Dad.

Pongo: Everybody here? All fifteen?

Patch: Twice that many, Dad. Now there's 99 of us!

Lucky: Mother, Dad! Patch pushed me in the fireplace.

Patch: Lucky pushed me first.

Lucky: Did not!

Patch: Did too!

Lucky: Did not!

Patch: Did too!

Lucky: Did not!

[Lucky sticks his tongue out at Patch]

Perdita: Please, children, don't quarrel.

Pongo: What? 99? Where did they all come from?

Perdita: What on earth would she want with so many?

Spotty: She's gonna make coats out of us!

Perdita: She couldn't!

Seargent Tibs: That's right. Dog skinned coats.

Colonel: Oh, dog skinned coats. Oh, come now, Tibs!

Seargent Tibs: But it's true, sir.

Patch: Horace and Jasper are going to pop us off and skin us!

Perdita: She's a devil! A witch! Oh, what'll we do?

Pongo: We have to get back to London somehow.

Patch: What about the others? What'll they do?

Pongo: Perdy, we'll take them home with us. All of them.

[the puppies start wagging their tails]

Pongo: Our pets would never turn them out.

Patch: That old Dirty Dawson! The yellow livered old skunk!

[growls]

Patch: I'd like to tear his gizzard out.

Perdita: Why, Patch, where did you ever hear such talk? Certainly not from your mother!

[looks at Pongo suspiciously]

Pongo: [smiles guiltily at Perdy]

TV Announcer: Don't miss next week's exciting episode. Who will triumph?

Patch: Ol' Thunder always wins!

Pongo: Perdy? We need to get these little nippers off to bed if we're going for a w-a-l-k.

Freckles: We wanna go too, Mother.

Wizzer: Can we, mother? Can we?

Salter: We never get to go.

Perdita: Come along, children. Bedtime.

Patch: But we're not a...

[yawns]

Patch: ... bit sleepy. We wanna go for a walk in the park.

Wizzer: Dad, can we?

Pongo: Better do what your mother says.

[Burnett Stone introduces Lady the Golden Engine to Patch]

Patch: Why is she locked up?

Grandpa Burnett Stone: She isn't, she's safe from harm. Long ago, I made a mistake as Lady's caretaker. An evil diesel found Lady, and threatened to destroy her. He chased her, used up all her coal. He made her go too fast, and then he crashed her. And I brought her here, I tried my best to fix her up. But I've never been able to bring her to life... to make her steam. Patch, she's as precious as gold.

[Patch enters Burnett Stone's workshop and sees an engine there]

Patch: I guess there was something mysterious about this mountain.

Grandpa Burnett Stone: Yeah, all mountains have their secrets, Patch. Shouldn't surprise a kid like you.

Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?

B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.

Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.

B.Z.: Yes. I guess I was... no angel.

B.Z.: A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas 2!

Patch: Christmas 2?

Patch: You'll fix it so I can get on the telly... what's-it?

B.Z.: When?

Patch: Uh, Christmas Eve.

B.Z.: How long?

Patch: Is a minute all right?

B.Z.: Yeah. What channel?

Patch: [simply] Well all of them.

B.Z.: All of them?

Patch: Yeah.

B.Z.: Which country?

Patch: [simply] All of them.

B.Z.: [shocked] ALL of them?

Patch: [pleased] Yes! All the countries, all the channels!

B.Z.: [incredulous] That would cost a fortune!

Anya Claus: [Dooley is reading Twas The Night Before Christmas] What is it?

Santa Claus: It's a poem. A poem about me. They say it's a big hit.

Dooley: He had a broad face, and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

Santa Claus: What was that? That last part.

Dooley: [reading with hesitation] He had a broad face.

Santa Claus: Yes. Go on.

Dooley: [continues reading with hesitation] And a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of...

Santa Claus: Jelly.

Dooley: It's... just a poem.

Santa Claus: [upset] Is that how they think I look?

Anya Claus: [struggling not to laugh] Well... The cookies.

Patch: It's the cookies.

[the other elves snicker]