Pardner Quotes in Paint Your Wagon (1969)

Pardner: [When Ben sees Pardner riding a horse with Elizabeth, he punches him to the ground, pulls a gun on him then threatens to tear him apart] Ben, what the hell's the matter with you?

Ben Rumson: What was the two of you doin' on the same horse?

Pardner: Ridin', what else would we be doin' on a horse? And it'd be the last place I'd...

Ben Rumson: Where was her horse?

Pardner: That was her horse.

Ben Rumson: [Pointing, voice cracking] And where, HAHA, was your horse?

Pardner: You... had my horse.

Pardner: You're diggin' a hole.

Mad Jack: Hey, you don't miss a trick, do yah?

Rumson: She's picked up a bad case of the respectabilities. And in just a few days from now, that poor woman's going to be burnin' up in a fever of virtue. And then LOOK OUT.

Pardner: Why?

Rumson: Pardner, it's been my experience that there ain't nothin' more ruthless and treacherous than a genuine good woman.

Pardner: Where I come from, Mr. Rumson, we're cautious of strangers who talk in an easy manner.

Rumson: Oh. You've got me down as some kind of low scuff from New Orleans, hm? Sell you patent medicine with one hand, pinch your purse with the other?

Pardner: Matter of fact, that's kind of what I was thinkin'.

Rumson: As a matter of fact, Pardner, you're right. But I ain't yet sunk to horse stealin'. Oh, I've salted claims, yeah. And I've sold whiskey to Injuns. And once a man in Walla Walla come at me with a gun and I killed him. I can't think of one commandment I ain't shattered regular. I never did fancy my mother and father, let alone respect 'em or honor 'em. And I have coveted my neighbor's wife - whenever I had a neighbor and he had a wife, mm, mmm! And I gamble and I cheat at cards, but there's one thing I do not do. I ain't never gulled a pardner. The one sacred thing, even to low scuff like me, is a man's pardner.

Haywood Holbrook: Dearly beloved. We have gathered together to grant this man, Ben Rumson, exclusive title to this woman, Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling, and to all her mineral resources. I have drawn up this Record of Claim which here and henceforth will be recognized as a certificate of marriage. So I ask you Ben, do you recognize this claim as a contract of marriage and do you take this woman to love honor and cherish?

Pardner: [after long silence] Oh, he does.

Haywood Holbrook: Elizabeth Woodling, do you take this man, Ben Rumson, to love, honor and obey him until death do you part.

Pardner: She does.

Haywood Holbrook: I now pronounce you claimed and filed as Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson.

Mr. Fenty: Horton, how did that bottle get in your pocket? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING HARD LIQUOR?

Horton: Well, since this afternoon. I know you don't approve, Pop, but believe me, until you've had a good cigar and a shot of whiskey, you're missing the second and third best things in life.

Rumson: Horton!

Pardner: Where'd you take him, Ben?

Elizabeth: Damn you, Ben Rumson. What are you going to teach this boy next? How to cheat at cards, or just physical education with one of Willie's floozies?

Horton: That's the best one, Pop!

Rumson: Horton!

Elizabeth: Is that what you did today, Ben?

Rumson: That's what *he* did today, Elizabeth! I tell you, that boy's got a talent for dissipation that is absolutely unique!

[Horton beams]

Rumson: You show me in them commandments where it says a woman cain't have two husbands.

Pardner: There AIN'T no commandment like that.

Pardner: Ben, how's married life?

Ben Rumson: Pardner, it was so good that I forgot that I was married.

Pardner: [Horace Tabor has opposed Ben's plan to kidnap the French prostitutes] Horace is right,Ben ! We can't bring them women here. Why, you bring them here and the next thing you know, you got to build a place for them to stay, people will be coming in from all over and they'll need somewhere to stay. Schermehorn and these other merchants will have to stock up on suplies to sell. Then Willie will have to open a saloon or two with gambling and drinkin'. Why before you know it, this place will be a boom town and we don't want that!

Ben: [winking at Partner] Your right, Partner. I never thought of it that way. Why you can't expect people to put up with that! I apologize, boys; I never thought of what might happen if we bring in those five French tarts!

'Rotten Luck'Willie: [smiling] I call for a vote on Ben's proposal! Any man who votes against it is a traitor!

Pardner: What happens when you get in a fight?

Rumson: Well, if four of anything come at me at one time, you might lend a fist. Up until that I can pretty well take care of myself.

Horton: [in a gambling hall/whorehouse] Pardon me, sir, could you lend me ten dollars?

Pardner: Why don't you go home and go to bed?

Horton: I was thinking of doing it the other way around.

[Ben and Partner are walking through the mining camp]

Ben Rumson: Hi, Willy! How're things goin'?

'Rotten Luck'Willie: I ain't won a hand in two weeks.

Ben Rumson: (to Partner) They call him 'Rotten Luck' Willie. You couldn't beat him with five aces.

Pardner: Oh, I don't gamble.

Ben Rumson: Neither does he.