Pain Quotes in Hercules (1997)
Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him, and it doesn't even...
[Hades notices Pain is wearing Air-Hercs]
Hades: What... are... those?
Pain: Um, I don't know. I-I thought they looked kinda dashing.
Hades: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke,
[begins to shout]
Hades: and you are wearing his merchandise?
[Hades almost blows up in front of Pain, but stops to see Panic slurping some "Herculade"]
Panic: [chuckling nervously] Thirsty?
[Hades shouts out loud, blows up and the whole city rumbles]
Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.
Pain: You mean, *if* he gets outta there.
Panic: If? If is good.
Panic: "Hercules." Why does that name ring a bell?
Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?
Panic: Wait, wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to...?
Pain, Panic: Oh, my Gods!
[they run, Hades seizes them]
Hades: So you took care of him, huh? "Dead as a doornail." Weren't those your *exact* words?
Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
Panic: Yeah. I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays.
Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?
Pain, Panic: [disguised as kids trapped in a rockslide] Somebody call IX-I-I.
Pain: Coming, your most lugubriousness.
Panic: Oh, sorry. I can handle it.
[Runs down the stairs; trips and crashes into Pain; they tumble down the stairs; Pain is now stuck to Panic's horns]
Pain: Pain - Ow!
Panic: And Panic - eechk!
Pain, Panic: ...reporting for duty!
Hades: Fine, fine, fine. Just inform me the minute the Fates arrive.
Panic: Oh, they're here!
Hades: [shouting] What! The Fates were here and you didn't tell me?
Pain, Panic: Ohh... We are worms!
[as they grovel, they turn into worms]
Pain, Panic: Worthless worms!
Hades: Memo to me... Memo to me: Maim you after my meeting.
[after Pain and Panic, disguised as children, are rescued by Hercules]
Hades: Stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.
Panic: "Jeepers, Mister"?
Pain: I was going for innocence.
Hades: Pain. Panic. Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?
Pain: [sounds assertive at first] I do not... know.
Panic: You can't... they're immortal?
Hades: Bingo, they're immortal. So the first thing we gotta do is make the little sunspot... mortal.
[Meg encounters a rabbit and a gopher in the woods]
Meg: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park.
Pain: [as rabbit] Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny.
Panic: [as chipmunk] A-And I'm his gopher.
Panic: [after catching the eye the Fates use to see] OH, Gross!
Pain: It blinked!
Pain: [as he and Panic patrol the now-imprisoned gods, bellowing] Hup-two-three-four, c'mon, everybody. I can't *hear* you!
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