Pain Quotes in Hercules (1997)


Pain Quotes:

  • Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him, and it doesn't even...

    [Hades notices Pain is wearing Air-Hercs]

    Hades: What... are... those?

    Pain: Um, I don't know. I-I thought they looked kinda dashing.

    Hades: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke,

    [begins to shout]

    Hades: and you are wearing his merchandise?

    [Hades almost blows up in front of Pain, but stops to see Panic slurping some "Herculade"]

    Panic: [chuckling nervously] Thirsty?

    [Hades shouts out loud, blows up and the whole city rumbles]

  • Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.

    Pain: You mean, *if* he gets outta there.

    Panic: If? If is good.

  • Panic: "Hercules." Why does that name ring a bell?

    Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?

    Hades: What-was-that-name-again?

    Meg: Hercules.

    Panic: Wait, wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to...?

    PainPanic: Oh, my Gods!

    [they run, Hades seizes them]

    Hades: So you took care of him, huh? "Dead as a doornail." Weren't those your *exact* words?

    Pain: This might be a different Hercules.

    Panic: Yeah. I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays.

    Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?

  • PainPanic: [disguised as kids trapped in a rockslide] Somebody call IX-I-I.

  • Hades: Pain!

    Pain: Coming, your most lugubriousness.

    Hades: Panic!

    Panic: Oh, sorry. I can handle it.

    [Runs down the stairs; trips and crashes into Pain; they tumble down the stairs; Pain is now stuck to Panic's horns]

    Pain: Pain - Ow!

    Panic: And Panic - eechk!

    PainPanic: ...reporting for duty!

    Hades: Fine, fine, fine. Just inform me the minute the Fates arrive.

    Panic: Oh, they're here!

    Hades: [shouting] What! The Fates were here and you didn't tell me?

    PainPanic: Ohh... We are worms!

    [as they grovel, they turn into worms]

    PainPanic: Worthless worms!

    Hades: Memo to me... Memo to me: Maim you after my meeting.

  • [after Pain and Panic, disguised as children, are rescued by Hercules]

    Hades: Stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.

    Panic: "Jeepers, Mister"?

    Pain: I was going for innocence.

  • Hades: Pain. Panic. Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?

    Pain: [sounds assertive at first] I do not... know.

    Panic: You can't... they're immortal?

    Hades: Bingo, they're immortal. So the first thing we gotta do is make the little sunspot... mortal.

  • [Meg encounters a rabbit and a gopher in the woods]

    Meg: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park.

    Pain: [as rabbit] Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny.

    Panic: [as chipmunk] A-And I'm his gopher.

  • Panic: [after catching the eye the Fates use to see] OH, Gross!

    Pain: It blinked!

  • Pain: [as he and Panic patrol the now-imprisoned gods, bellowing] Hup-two-three-four, c'mon, everybody. I can't *hear* you!

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