Pa Danby Quotes in Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969)

Pa Danby: If that gun had gone off, it'd of blowed right up in my face.

Jason McCullough: Now it wouldn't have done my finger a hell of a lot of good either, would it? What can I do for you, Mr. Danby?

[Jake comes in the sheriff's office]

Pa Danby: What's he supposed to be?

Jason McCullough: Well, that's my deputy.

Pa Danby: Why last week he was shovelin' horse... he was workin' in the stable.

Jason McCullough: Well, he's been promoted.

Joe Danby: Pa, you always told me there wasn't a jail been built that could hold a Danby.

Pa Danby: Well, now they've built one!

Joe Danby: Aww.

Pa Danby: You'll have to stay here for a couple of days.

Joe Danby: But we run this town.

Pa Danby: I gotta throw in with that sheriff that you don't exactly dazzle nobody with your intelligence.

Pa Danby: Now I'm gonna take a little trip tomorrow and I want you two to behave yourselves while I'm gone. I don't want nobody to make no martyr out of this here sheriff.

Tom Danby: What's a martyr?

Pa Danby: Oh, I'm sorry. They didn't use words like that in the third grade, did they?

Tom Danby: Well, how would I know? I didn't get that far.

Jason McCullough: Well, it seems Joe murdered a man this afternoon.

Pa Danby: The way I hear'd it, he killed a man in a fair gunfight.

Jason McCullough: I was standing right there.

Pa Danby: You was standin' right where?

Jason McCullough: In the saloon when Joe killed him.

Pa Danby: Well, now that was real smart of him, weren't it?

Jason McCullough: I've been around Joe all afternoon and I haven't seen him do one smart thing yet.

Tom Danby: Pa, you been touchin' up your hair again?

Pa Danby: Whadda ya mean, AGAIN?

Tom Danby: Nothin'. It just looks better in spots, that's all.

Pa Danby: Whadda ya mean, SPOTS?

[Pa Danby has just come from a meeting where Jason McCullough stumped him by sticking his finger in the barrel of Pa's pistol]

Tom Danby: He stuck his finger in the end of your *what?*

Pa Danby: Will you shut up? Everybody'll be lookin'!

Pa Danby: There's always some tramp that's good with a gun that can be hired.

Luke Danby: Yeah, but you always said that the Danbys fight their own battles.

Pa Danby: Well, maybe I was talkin' 'bout another branch of the family.