Owen Quotes in Jurassic World (2015)

Claire: So, you can pick up their scent can't you? Track their foot prints.

Owen: I was with the Navy. Not the Navajo.

Owen: Watch your six! Raptors got a new alpha!

Owen: [to a dinosaur] Hey, don't give me that shit.

Owen: It's all about control with you. I don't control the Raptors. It's a relationship. It's based on mutual respect. That's why you and I never had a second date.

Claire: Excuse me? I never wanted a second date.

Owen: Who prints out an itinerary for a night out?

Claire: I'm an organized person.

Owen: What kind of diet doesn't allow tequila?

Claire: All of them, actually. And what kind of a man shows up to a date in board shorts?

Owen: It's Central America. It's hot.

Owen: [to Claire] You might have made them in a test tube, buy they don't know that. These animals are thinking, "I gotta eat. I gotta hunt. I gotta..." You can relate to at least one of those things. Right?

Owen: [to Claire, about searching for her nephews] Don't worry. It's gonna be just like taking a walk in the woods... 65 million years ago.

[last lines]

Claire: So now what do we do?

Owen: Probably stay together. For survival.

Claire: We've been pre-booking tickets for months. The park needs a new attraction every few years in order to reinvigorate the public's interest. Kind of like the space program. Corporate felt genetic modification would up the wow factor.

Owen: They're dinosaurs. Wow enough.

Claire: Not according to our focus groups. The Indominus rex makes us relevant again.

Owen: [chuckling] The Indominus rex?

Claire: We needed something scary and easy to pronounce. You should hear a four-year-old try to say "Archeaornithomimus."

Owen: You should hear you try to say it.

Owen: You're the new guy, right?

Young Raptor Handler: Yeah.

Owen: You ever wonder why there was a job opening? Don't turn your back to the cage.

Masrani: What is that?

Owen: That's her tracking implant. She clawed it out.

Claire: How would it know to do that?

Owen: She remembered where they put it in.

Owen: Animals raised in isolation aren't always the most functional.

Claire: Your Raptors are born in captivity.

Owen: With siblings. They learn social skills. And I imprint on then when they're born. There's trust. The only positive relationship this animal has is with that crane. At least she knows that means food.

Claire: So, she needs a friend. We should schedule play-dates? That sort of thing?

Owen: Probably not a good idea.

Owen: You'll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes.

[Claire unbuckles her belt, ties her shirt at her midriff, rolls up her sleeves and puts her hands on her hips at Owen]

Owen: What is that supposed to mean?

Claire: It means I'm ready to go.

Owen: ...okay

[from trailer]

Claire: We're talking about an animal here.

Owen: A highly intelligent animal.

Owen: I am a kitten farmer.

Zach: How much does that pay?

Owen: It pays the bills.

Zach: How do you grow them?

Claire: I need you.

Owen: Okay?

Claire: I need your help. My nephews they're out in the valley. Please if anything happens to them.

Owen: How old?

Claire: Uh, the, um... the older one he's like uh... he's high school age. The younger one, he's um... he's... a few years...

Owen: You don't know how old your nephews are?

Owen: That thing out there... That is no dinosaur.

[from trailer]

Owen: She's killing for sport.

Paddock Supervisor: That wall's forty feet high. You really think she could've climbed out?

Owen: Depends.

Paddock Supervisor: On what?

Owen: What kinda dinosaur they cooked up in that lab.

Owen: You made a genetic hybrid. Raised it in captivity. She is seeing all of this for the first time. She does not even know what she is. She will kill everything that moves.

Masrani: You think the animal is contemplating its own existence?

Owen: She is learning where she fits on the food chain and I'm not sure you want her to figure that out.

[from trailer]

Owen: This might be our only chance!

Gray: [referring to the raptors] What are their names?

Owen: This is Echo, this one's Charlie, this is Delta, and this one's Blue. Blue's the beta.

Gray: Who's the alpha?

Owen: You're lookin' at him, kid.

Owen: [to Claire; about the Indominus Rex] YOU created a genetically modified hybrid, RAISED it in captivity; *She* is *seeing* all of this for the first time, she doesn't even know WHAT she is! She Will Kill ANYTHING that moves!

Owen: Your Honor, the defendants wish to change their plea.

[Crowd is stunned. Judge McCormick bangs his gavel]

Judge McCormick: Order! Very well, Counselor. What is the plea?

Ray Tango: Your Honor, may I approach the bench, please?

Judge McCormick: Proceed, Mr. Tango.

Ray Tango: [Gets up, looks at Owen] It's okay.

[Tango approaches the bench]

Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years, and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times, I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the streets. Well, if that's a sin, then I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops. They are... doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such, that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.

[Tango returns to his seat]

Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add, Mr. Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [Nods] Yeah.

Ray Tango: [Grabs Cash's arm] No!

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No-no.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

[Cash gets up]

Gabriel Cash: Mr. Tango has, uh, spoken very eloquently. I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't, because... this whole thing... fucking sucks! I mean, this is the biggest pile of shit I've ever...

[Crowd applauses]

Judge McCormick: Order! Order!

Owen: [unable to see the chaos outside the car] Cash what was that noise?

Gabriel Cash: Don't worry Owen, just a couple speed bumps.

Owen: How are you guys faring? Getting through?

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: Yeah, we're okay. We find compensations. That's what we do, right? We compensate for our losses. Move on.

Owen: If anything like that ever happened to me I just, I don't know. I think I'd snap.

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: Well, you don't really know what you'd do until it happens. Surprise yourself.

Owen: Man, I guess there is justice, huh.

Owen: What's that "order in the universe" thing?

Nicholas "Nick" Hume: Well, our insurer spent 300,000 bucks on this new model - new field data, new society. Who is the ideal employee? Who dies how and when? And they sent it over to show what a great job they're doing. And you know what it says? It says that people with kids live longer than people with no kids. People with two live longer than people with one. Smoking is bad. Speeding is bad. Deaths in the family are bad. Divorce is bad. It's just kind of nice to see that all that junk is still true.

[Brock closes on Owen]

Brock: [whispering] Does it bother you when I'm this close?

Owen: Your breath is not great.

Brock: Yeah.

Brock: [breathes on Owen]

Owen: Okay, this is too close.

Alex: Now what?

Dot: We need to get some grown-ups to help.

Owen: Grown-ups?

Dot: Yes.

Alex: Oh, that's a pity. They always make such a fuss.

Owen: And they take so long to do anything.

Alex: Yeah. Kids are best at getting things done.

Dot: This is a girl whale. Her name is Tonga. Nelson told me about her.

Owen: Who's Nelson?

Alex: Probably a jellyfish.

Dot: Actually, he's a dolphin.

Joe: You are doing it all wrong. First of all, you need to take off those towels.

Owen: Why?

Joe: Because she can't breath. It's blocking her gills.

Owen: Whales don't have gills!

Joe: Oh, shows what you know!

Owen: What do you want us to do? Put salt and vinegar on her? It's a whale, not a fish!

Owen: Grown-ups. They don't do nothing. They just stand around and stare.

Owen: If only whales had wings.

Alex: Owen, shut up!

Dwight: We're still missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.

Owen: Who's Steve the Pirate?

Dwight: The only guy on our team that dresses like a pirate!

Owen: Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?

Owen: [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed] Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!

Dwight: Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!

Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What's a taint?

Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!

Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.

Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.

White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?

Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?

Owen: $50,000?

Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?

Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!

Owen: [after Patches got smashed with sign] Well... it's probably the way he wanted to go...

Dwight: ...What?

Fran: You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?

Owen: [even though Fran is a tough, scary, Slavic woman] Because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?

Gordon: Uh, two.

Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?

Gordon: Yeah!

Owen: That seems pretty simple.

Dwight: Who's the other team?

Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.

Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!

Peter La Fleur: Not quite!

[Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground]

Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!

Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody.

Owen: You think?

Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".

Owen: I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom.

Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands.

[before the championship game]

Peter La Fleur: Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?

Owen: Aim low?

Peter La Fleur: That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?

[Everyone laughs]

Peter La Fleur: Put 'em in.

[Hands in]

Peter La Fleur: One, two, three...

Peter La Fleur, Owen, Justin, Kate Veatch, Dwight, Gordon: JOE'S!

Hunter: Oh! Conner4Real in the flesh? Hey, yo! It's... It's an honor to meet you, man. CONNquest, Style Boyz, I grew up off that shit, man.

Owen: Thanks.

Hunter: I wanna be you, kind of, but not white. Like black still, 'cause it's strong. It's a strong color.

Conner: For sure, yeah.

Hunter: Like, you are that dude. Like, have you met you? Have you met you? You? Have you met you?

Conner: Yeah, yeah.

Hunter: You know what I'm saying? This is crazy.

Harry: You be you.

Hunter: You don't want me to be all that 'cause I'll tear some shit up. You know how it is?

Conner: That is great...

Hunter: Hell, yeah! We gonna turn up a show up here! You know how it is!

Conner: Okay.

Hunter: But seriously, man. I'm real honored, dawg. I'm not gonna let you down. You my idol, right next to Jesus and Morgan Freeman.

Deborah: We can upload your entire album to fridges, washer dryers, blenders, and microwaves across the country.

Owen: You could do that?

Deborah: Yes, nerd. It's just wifi jibber jabber; it's not a big deal.

Eddie: Nobody doin' appliance shit, my nigga.

Deborah: Isn't that right, my nigger? No one is doing appliance shit!

Harry: Okay... w-with the hard "r".

Owen: You disappoint me, kid. You're late. You planning on making a habit of this?

Duncan: What?

Owen: You're fired!

Duncan: But I just...

Owen: [sticks out his hand] You make a valid point. Welcome back. With benefits.

Duncan: How long have you been working there?

Owen: Oh, the park? Um, I've always been there. Ever since I was a small Cambodian child. Of course, that was after 'Nam. I was in the shit. Then I joined the circus to become a clown fighter. I know about 46 ways to kill a clown. I hate clowns. I'm kidding except for the part where I really do hate them.

Owen: [in mock seriousness] I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Duncan: What?

Owen: Yeah, you're going to have to take off. I'm getting complaints. You're having way too much fun. It's making everyone uncomfortable.

Duncan: Okay.

[walks away from picinic table where he has been sitting alone]

Owen: Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa. I'm just kidding. Wow! That wasn't even my best stuff. Are you for real? Listen, I can tell you're in complete awe of our picnic table. It is one-of-a-kind, except for the 200 other ones here that are exactly like it. There is more to the park to be seen.

Duncan: I wish I could stay here forever.

Owen: You're going to love the winters. They're pretty spectacular. Painting houses until it gets too cold, bar backing at some dive, talking to inanimate objects.

Duncan: I'm serious.

Owen: Yeah, so am I. There's a whole world out there for you, Duncan. Don't settle. Not yet.

Owen: Seriously, when's the last time you bought jeans?

Duncan: My mom buys my jeans.

Owen: Good. Always take things literally. How's that working out for you? Does that get you laid?

Owen: [uncharacteristically lost for words] Well... faster conversations.

Duncan: [hugs Owen] Thank you. For everything.

Owen: [to Duncan who is standing a few metres away] Duncan, please report to the Administrative Offices International. I have to announce it over the PA, as my voice won't carry that far. My throat suffered major damage during an intense make-out session with Lewis' mom. She has a forked tongue and a touch of the herpes.

Lewis: [sardonically] I don't have a mom. I have two dads. In your face.

Duncan: This is the only place I'm happy.

Owen: What's going on?

Duncan: I hate him.

Owen: Who?

Duncan: Trent. My mom's boyfriend. He said I was a three. He asked me what I thought I was on, a scale from one to ten. He called me a three. Who says that to somebody?

Owen: Someone who doesn't know you.

Duncan: I didn't want to have to answer! I shouldn't have to answer!

Owen: Listen to me. That's about him, man. That's all about him. It's got nothing to do with you.

Duncan: [vehemently] Yeah? How do you know?

Owen: 'Cause I know, okay? Don't worry about how I know. My dad was the same way. That's why I don't like patterns and rules. And that's why you can't buy into that shit. You gotta go your own way. And you, my friend, are going your own way.

Owen: Throw your bike in the back.

Duncan: [politely] No. You don't have to.

Owen: [chuckling] Come on.

Duncan: Yeah?

Owen: Yeah.

Duncan: [hesitating] No, it's too much trouble.

Owen: Duncan, we've got to start having faster conversations. Throw your bike in the back.

[Duncan starts moving pink-colored girl's bike into back of car]

Owen: I'd help you out, but I got my hands on the wheel. Giving you a ride, I think that's enough. Where did you get that? The princess collection? Hey, easy, easy! The car's just the right amount of shitty.

Caitlin: Also, I need you to reorder more mats.

Owen: Did it.

Caitlin: Finish the work schedule for next week.

Owen: Did it.

Caitlin: Change all the filters.

Owen: Done.

Caitlin: You know I'm going to check all that stuff, right?

Owen: Then in that case, I didn't do any of that.

Caitlin: So I'm doing it.

Owen: It's called delegation. I read about it in a book about it.

Owen: Hi. I'm Owen, a good friend of "the three."

Peter: [referring to eye patch] My mom makes me wear it. She says my eye confuses people.

Owen: Well now you gotta show me.

[Peter removes eye patch to reveal askew lazy eye]

Owen: Hah, haw! Look at that thing! She wants you to hide that? Is she insane? I'd kill to have that eye.

Peter: [smiling] You're full of shit.

Owen: Seriously, you know how many bits I could do with that? Daring people to look me straight in the eye? Ahhh...

[making a funny face]

Owen: That thing is awesome.

[Duncan talks with Susanna. Owen and Roddy see him, and are impressed. Owen talkes via the PA system]

Owen: Please report to the Administrative Offices International. Duncan, please report to the Administrative Offices International. I have to announce it over the PA as my voice won't carry that far. My throat suffered major damage during an intense make-out session with Lewis' mom. She has a forked tongue and a touch of the herpes.

Lewis: [annoyed] I don't have a mom. I have two dads. In your face.

Owen: Hurry, hurry.

Duncan: [to Sussanna] Hold on a second.

[Susanna nods. Duncan approaches Owen and Roddy]

Owen: Please. Hurry up. This is pressing, pressing. Urgent. I can't tell you how pressing. You can't fathom how pressing. How's it going? What's up? Did you need something?

Duncan: No.

Owen: Who's that, big guy?

Duncan: Just a girl.

[Owen and Roddy chuckle]

Roddy: You stallion, you!

Duncan: I don't know. She's older than me.

[Owen and Roddy are even more impressed]

Roddy: So... what are you doing over here talking to us and not over there, sealing the deal with that cougar?

Duncan: [smiles] Well, maybe, Roddy, if you guys hadn't called me over here...

Owen, Roddy: [chuckle] Oooo!

[Duncan returns to Susanna]

Owen: [talks on the PA system] Return to your lady friend. Duncan, please return to your lady friend. Please let her know that this conversation was entirely about her. In other news, this is very awkward for you.

Caitlin: [angrily] What are you doing?

Owen: [laughing] What did I do? Having fun. It's all good. Nobody got hurt.

Caitlin: It's not all good! You can't do that. That is the reason that places like this get shut down.

Owen: [to teenager Malcolm] Is it me, or is she very sexy right now?

Malcolm: She's certainly got my attention.

Owen: Right... you're an impressive man. I want to be you when I grow up.

Caitlin: I'm so tired of this guy. Aren't you tired? Aren't you sick of yourself? I'm sick of it! I'm sick of who I am around you. I'm sick of having to be this person. I'm not this person.

Owen: Come on, I'm just messing around.

Caitlin: No! That's why...

[referring to their relationship]

Caitlin: that's why this doesn't happen. This is just a job now. I wish this wasn't just a job.

Owen: I'm sorry. I'm developmentally challenged. Like bad. Nightmarey, special episode bad. I'm sorry.

Caitlin: It's alright. I was... I was a little frustrated. I mean, I just planned on being here for one summer, you know. And then, next thing you know it's three years. It had a lot to do with you. So... I just don't want to look back and regret that it should have only been one summer.

Lewis: [unwrapping farewell gift to reveal a large pool leaf-skimmer, then in sarcastic tone] Oh oh... Owen, you shouldn't have.

Owen: [sardonically] Yeah, I went to three different places in the water park to find that. You can use it to catch thunderclouds.

Owen: I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train?

Del: Yeah, we'd appreciate it.

Owen: Train don't run out of Wichita... unlessin' you're a hog or a cattle.

[Clears his throat]

Owen: People train runs out of Stubbville.

Owen: Her first baby came out sideways, she didn't scream or nothin.

[Momma sees Larry for the first time]

Momma: Who's this?

Owen: This is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice?

Momma: [suspiciously] You don't *have* a "Cousin Paddy".

Owen: [to Larry] You lied to me!

[Owen knocks Larry out with a frying pan to the head]

Owen: Momma! You're alive!

[to police]

Owen: Old people - you have to reassure them.

Owen: Where are you going?

Larry: I'm gonna kill the bitch. You want something?

Owen: Could you get me a Chunky?

Larry: [on the phone with Owen from Hawaii] Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife?

Owen: Ehh, I don't want to say over the phone. All I can tell ya is that I killed her last night.

[hangs up]

Larry: You killed my wife, Owen!

Owen: No, I didn't... Yes, I did.

Larry: You're a sick man, Owen. You need care and I'm taking you to the police.

Owen: Did you know that Hawaii is a series of islands that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that.

Larry: You killed somebody! You killed a person. You're a murderer. You took a life!

Owen: You're right. You're right, I'm no good. How could I do that? I'm a sick pers... cows!

[points at passing billboard]

Momma: Owen! Food!

Owen: In a minute, Momma.

Momma: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast!

Owen: Kill her, Larry.

Momma: Your friend had an accident, he's dead! You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me!

Owen: He's dead?

Momma: See for yourself.

Owen: Larry! My friend, my friend... Larry!

Momma: "My friend! My friend!" You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.

Owen: Larry! I can't breath!

Larry: Yes! That's because I'm choking you!

Larry: Owen, you gotta get it through your thick head. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a killer.

Owen: You don't have to blow her brains out or anything.

Larry: [Sarcastically] Thank you, that takes the pressure right off.

Owen: She's old. She's got a bad ticker. All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her.

[Mimics shaking Mrs. Lift viciously]

Owen: "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift!"

Larry: Would you stop it?

Owen: Well just meet her. Maybe she'll be somebody you'd LIKE to kill.

Momma: You were writing a letter.

Owen: No, Momma!

Momma: You are writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away!

Owen: I'm writing a story for class, Momma! I don't want them to take you away!

Momma: Yes, you do!

Owen: Owen loves his Momma!

Momma: [to herself] Owen loves his Momma!

[singing mockingly]

Momma: Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma...

[Owen is typing on his typewriter when Momma comes and slams his hands on the keyboard]

Momma: Stop it, damn it! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out.

[Cut to bathroom. Momma slaps Owen]

Owen: Oh, Momma...

Momma: You're writing to her, aren't you Owen?

Owen: Don't start that again, Momma, and don't hit me anymore!

Momma: You love her.

Owen: There's no "her", Momma.

[Momma bends down above the bathtub as Owen brushes her hair back]

Momma: You're writing a letter!

Owen: I'm writing a story for class, Momma. Don't you see? I take a class, I take a nice class.

Momma: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Owen: And I'm gonna be a writer someday.

Momma: You know how that typing upsets me!

Owen: I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes.

Momma: You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon.

[Owen notices a pair of long scissors on a nearby shelf, picks them up and raises them]

Owen: You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise.

[Owen stabs Momma through the ear with the scissors. Momma stands up screaming]

Owen: [Confused] Momma...

Momma: [Cleaning her ear] I think you got it, sonny.

[Owen suddenly comes to his senses, realising he was imagining killing her]

Momma: I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby.

[Kisses him on the cheek and hugs him]

Owen: I know, Momma. I know.

Momma: Owen, my little baby. Owen, my little baby boy.

[Owen still looks confused as to how he cleared Momma's ear]

Larry: Why did you kill my wife?

Owen: I thought you wanted me to. That was the deal we made that night. You told me that hated your wife. You wished she was dead. I told you I hated my mama. I told you I wished she was dead. To told me to see that Hitchcock film about swaping murders. I figured I kill your wife and you kill my mama. That's fair.

Larry: I am not killing your mother. You have to turn yourself in.

Owen: I'm not turning myself in. That's not part of the plan.

Larry: What plan? There was never any plan, you moron! I am taking you to the police and you are telling them what you did! That's it and that's all! I don't want to hear another word!

Owen: If you take me to the cops, I'll just tell them that you did it Larry! What's the point trying to convince them that I did it all on my own? You've got the motive!

Owen: [Larry has driven his car off the road and it's going downhill through a load of bushes. Sat next to him in the passenger seat is Owen] This is good. It's like the Flintstones car wash.

Larry: [referring to Owen's lousy murder mystery paper] It wasn't motivated.

Owen: Sure it was. The guy in the hat killed the other guy in the hat.

Owen: She didn't feel a thing, professor Donner. I know how important that is to you not to have her feel a thing.

Larry: Who?

Owen: Your wife. She had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener.

Larry: You saw my wife?

Owen: She was kind of a tart Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful.

Owen: I wrote a book, and it got published. It's called Owen, And Owens Friend Larry. And it's all about you, me, and momma, and our times that we shared together. What's your book about?

Larry: You wrote a book about us?

Owen: Yeah!

Larry: Mmmhmm. All about you, me, and momma?

Owen: Yeah! Isn't it great?

Larry: Mmmm... YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'm gonna KILL YOU!

Owen: Wha... what? Don't! Do you want me to leave?

Larry: No, I don't want you to leave, I want you dead!

Owen: No, no, wait! Larry! Here! Take this! It's a copy of my book.

Larry: What is this, you wrote a pop up book?

Owen: Yeah! See, there's me, you, and there's momma. And see, this is the little train... TOOT TOOT!

Larry: You wrote a pop up book! Owen, this is the cutest thing I have ever seen!

Wilson: You can really understand me? Right now, you can understand what I am saying to you?

Owen: Yep.

Wilson: Can I have a cookie? No wait, ten cookies? No, can I have twenty cookies? Twenty cookies?

Mrs. Baker: Don't you think that it makes more sense to wait until after we move to the new place before we get the dog? I'm just thinking of the dog that way he won't have to relearn a new house, a new neighborhood, and all that other... newness.

Owen: We had a deal, Mom.

Mrs. Baker: We did. We sure, we sure, we absolutely did.

Owen: [quoting Mrs. Baker] "The best way to achieve your goals, Owen, is to make a plan, work hard, and always keep your eyes on the prize."

Mrs. Baker: That's an exact quote, isn't it?

Owen: I want my prize.

Owen: So, when that retriever you talked about comes for you, you're planning on going back with them?

Hubble: [a little guiltily] Well, this is only a temporary mission.

Owen: Right. I get it.

Hubble: I appreciate your hosting me for the time being, but...

Owen: It's okay.

[Sadly, more to himself than to Hubble]

Owen: I'm used to temporary missions.

Priest: Owen, you don't know God's will.

Owen: And neither does the church.

Owen: There, there, now. Don't worry. Tom will be along any second.

Rufus Collier: If what I think is true, I hope he never comes along.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: What?

Rufus Collier: Well, I'll, I'll tell you what's in my mind. Heaven knows I don't want it there. That girl he's been living with for the last three years...

Owen: Just a minute, sir.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: It's alright Owen.

Rufus Collier: Good Jupiter, it's no secret, is it? Who is she, anyway? What is she?

Owen: An extremely nice girl. Hard working. Talented. She, she draws for one of the fashion magazines and very successfully. She left three months ago for her magazine's Paris office for an indefinite stay.

Owen: Well, you know there's a thing called - legal ethics.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: There's a thing called - friendship.

Owen: On ordinary terms, Tom doesn't seem to have got very far. He's wasted his life from the cradle.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: Aaw, it must have been pathetic to see him wasting at three!

Rufus Collier: I assure you his genius was shown even then. I send him to Harvard, he lasts two years there. I send him to Oxford, he commutes from Paris. I put him into a bank, he... The whole world is at the feet of that boy, the whole world. And all he's ever done is to run from it.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: Oh, sweet innocent... I should think you'd know by now, that she was just a promiscuous little - oh well.

Owen: You're a strange girl, Cee. You're a pretty cruel one too.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: Not at all. In fact, I don't see why Tom and she shouldn't be just as good friends as, well, as you and I are.

Owen: Their history is a little different.

Cecilia 'Cee' Henry Collier: Why? Don't you like our history?

Owen: What there is of it. A trifle uneventful, don't you think? Or, should we simply call it, lacking in excitement.

Owen: [Jack and Owen are told by a mysterious mugger on the subway to drop their pants. Jack wears boxers, but is appalled to see Owen is wearing tighty whities] It's laundry day, alright?

Chloe: Wait, it's not what you think.

Owen: Oh, no? I suppose you guys were not having sex, he was just looking for his keys, I guess.

Chloe: We were working on a scene.

Owen: What kinda scene? One in which you play a barnyard animal?

Diane: Hi Owen!

Owen: It's cool, I like this place.

Diane: Bye Owen.

Owen: Ms. Johnson, your son is fucking crazy, he's gotta a bunch of pictures of people on the wall and he thinks he's gonna kill later.

Owen: Are you a vampire?

Abby: I need blood to live.

Owen: But how old are you, really?

Abby: Twelve. But... I've been twelve for a very long time.

Abby: Owen, do you like me?

Owen: Yeah. A lot.

Abby: Would you still like me... even if I wasn't a girl?

Owen: What do you mean? I don't know. I guess. Why?

Abby: No reason.

Owen: Do you want to go steady?

Abby: What do you mean?

Owen: Do you want to be my girlfriend?

Abby: Owen, I'm not a girl.

Owen: You're not a girl? What are you?

Abby: I'm nothing.

Owen: You know, it's ok if you don't want to be my girlfriend. You don't have to make stuff up.

Abby: Can't we just keep things the way they are?

Owen: Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Abby: [touching Owen's bandaged cheek] What happened there?

Owen: Just some kids from school. Where do you go to school anyway? I've never seen you...

[interrupted]

Abby: [interrupting Owen] Owen, listen.

Owen: What?

Abby: You have to hit back. You have to hit back hard.

Owen: I can't. There's three of them.

Abby: Then you have to hit back even harder. Hit them harder than you dare and then they will stop.

Owen: What if they hit me back?

Abby: You have a knife.

Owen: Yeah, and what if that doesn't stop them?

Abby: Then I'll help you.

Abby: What are you doing?

Owen: Nothing. What are you doing?

Abby: Nothing.

Abby: Just so you know, I can't be your friend.

Owen: Why not?

Abby: That's just the way it is.

Owen: Well, who said I wanted to be your friend? Idiot.

Owen: How old are you?

Abby: Twelve... more or less. How old are you?

Owen: Twelve years, eight months, and nine days.

Abby: You know, I really want to be left alone.

Owen: Me too.

Abby: So leave.

Owen: You leave! I've lived here longer than you.

Owen: You smell kind of funny.

[pauses]

Owen: Aren't you cold?

Abby: I don't really get cold.

Owen: Look, it's so cool!

[shows Abby Morse Code]

Owen: We can talk to each other through the wall!

Abby: Can you hear me through the wall?

Owen: Only sometimes.

Abby: Did you hear anything the other night?

Owen: A little. What was your dad so mad about? Where's your mom?

Abby: My mom is dead.

Owen: My mom and dad are getting a divorce.

Owen: [to his father on phone] Do you think there's such a thing as evil?

Kenny: What are you going to do with that?

Owen: [holding metal pole] I'm going to hit you with it if you try something.

Owen: When is your birthday?

Abby: I don't know.

Owen: You don't celebrate your birthday? Don't get birthday presents?

Owen: I want to go! Are you going to let me?

Abby: I told you we couldn't be friends.

Owen: You kill people.

Abby: I do it because I have to.

Owen: [singing] Eat some now. Save some for later.

Owen: What are you? Really?

Owen: Are you scared little girl?

Owen: [after Owen gives Abby the Morse Code] Tap-tap-tap-tap... pause... tap-tap.

[Hi]

Abby: Tap-tap-tap-tap... pause... tap-tap.

[Hi]

Owen: Well, the bitch floats!

Adam: I think you just made this a little too personal.

Owen: You made it too personal when you insulted the scientific value of snail meat.

Owen: You will fall, Otto Brady. And when you do, I will be laughing

[Emphasizes each word by stepping down]

Owen: All... the... way... DOWN!

[Duck walks away]

Owen: At the turn of the century heroin was available at every corner drugstore. Any housewife could get some for a headache.

Katherine: I am not a turn of the century housewife and I don't want heroin in my house.

Margaret: That's the only thing I care about, my career. What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm getting ready to shoot with a professional photographer who I met at the club, who's gonna come here...

Owen: Wally wants to go to bed with you.

Margaret: Nobody - nobody fucks at the club, everybody's gay! It's you that thinks about fucking all the time.

Owen: Your vocabulary is punctuated by two words: "shit" and "fuck."

Owen: I seem to remember, when we were at, um, Cambridge, there was a war, I think it was between the, uh, they were called, uh, mods and rockers, and they - they went at each other with bicycle chains. I don't think your punks need help from the outside to kill themselves.

Owen: All your costumes are just participation in some kind of phoney theater. I'm only telling you this for your own good. It's a freak show.

Margaret: Oh, are you trying to say that your blue jeans weren't theater?

Owen: It's not the same thing.

Margaret: So your professor wore a three-piece suit and blamed you for your jeans. And your jeans were "too much." And he didn't understand that his suit was also a costume. You thought your jeans stood for love, freedom and sexual equality; we at least know that we're in costume.

Katherine: Cocteau was Cocteau before he ever did... drugs.

Owen: What are you saying?

Katherine: That's it's not going to help you.