Osgood Quotes in Some Like It Hot (1959)

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Osgood Quotes:

  • [last lines]

    Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.

    Osgood: Why not?

    Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.

    Osgood: Doesn't matter.

    Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!

    Osgood: I don't care.

    Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.

    Osgood: I forgive you.

    Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!

    Osgood: We can adopt some.

    Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...

    [Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig]

    Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!

    Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!

    [Jerry looks on with disbelief as Osgood continues smiling with indifference. Fade out]

  • Osgood: I am Osgood Fielding the third.

    Daphne: I'm Cinderella the second.

  • Osgood: [referring to his mother] Right now, she thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep sea fishing!

    Daphne: Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, you're barking up the wrong fish!

  • Osgood: You must be quite a girl.

    Daphne: Wanna bet?

  • Osgood: You know, I've always been *fascinated* by show business.

    Daphne: Is that so?

    Osgood: Yes. As a matter of fact it's cost my family quite a bit of money.

    Daphne: Oh, you invest in shows?

    Osgood: Showgirls. I've been married seven or eight times.

    Daphne: You're not sure?

    Osgood: Mama is keeping score.

  • Osgood: Which of these instruments do you play?

    Jerry: Bull fiddle!

    Osgood: Fascinating! Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?

    Jerry: Most of the time, I *slap* it!

  • Osgood: [to the elevator operator] All right, driver, once around the park, slowly, and keep your eyes on the road.

Browse more character quotes from Some Like It Hot (1959)

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