Osama bin Laden Quotes in Postal (2007)

[from trailer]

Osama bin Laden: Uwe Boll may be an infidel, but he made a very funny film.

Osama bin Laden: [on the walkie-talkie] The fat man is at the buffet.

Mohammed: What?

Osama bin Laden: I repeat: the fat man is at the buffet.

Mohammed: What the fuck are you talking about?

Osama bin Laden: The van is here you idiot.

Osama bin Laden: I'm telling you, Mohammed, I've seen that gas station before. We're lost.

Mohammed: We're not lost. All gas stations look alike in this country. What is wrong with you?

Osama bin Laden: Would you just stop to ask for directions?

Mohammed: Would you get off my back? I'm doing the best I can, okay?

Osama bin Laden: I should be driving.

Mohammed: Oh, so you can do everything around here, huh? Be the head of an organization and also be the driver? What is wrong with you?

Osama bin Laden: I'm gonna go watch Oprah.

Mohammed: [as Osama is leaving] She's looking good these days. The diet is working!

Osama bin Laden: Write me up an e-mail, tell me what pipe you're talkin' about and I'll blow it all the way to Mecca.

George W. Bush: I really appreciate it. I'll ask Laura to type that out. You know me and spelling and all...

[laughs]

Osama bin Laden: Later...

[hangs up; to Taliban]

Osama bin Laden: Jihad!

Mohammed: Where are the fucking keys? They gotta be somewhere.

Osama bin Laden: I thought you had the keys?

Mohammed: [searches for the keys in his clothes] You know, sometimes it helps recreating your steps.

Osama bin Laden: [finds the keys in his clothes] Mohammed!

Osama bin Laden: They're not listening to me anymore, Mohammed. I tell them about Allah and glory and what do I get? What do i get all the damn time?

Mohammed: Virgins...

Osama bin Laden: Dingdingdingdingdingding! Nobody wants to die anymore unless they get virgins.

Klansman: Hi, I'm a Klansman. I hate niggers, Jews, and fags, but I love Bryan Lewis!

[Cuts To Video Tape Of Osama Bin Laden]

Osama Bin Laden: Yo yo wassup I'm Osama Bin Laden. I hate America but I love Bryan Lewis.