Orlando Quotes in Crank (2006)

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Orlando Quotes:

  • Chev Chelios: I know what I'm going to have to do.

    Orlando: What's that?

    Chev Chelios: I'm going to have to kick some black ass.

  • Orlando: Hey dude, what's the matter with you?

    Chev Chelios: Look, just give me some coke. You got any coke?

    Orlando: Okay, now you're just gonna come up here and insult me...

    Chev Chelios: Come on, I don't have time. Just give me something, I'm really dying here.

    Orlando: I can see that.

    Chev Chelios: You don't understand, I'm really fucking dying.

    Orlando: You saying this is medicinal use coke, is that what you're saying?

    Chev Chelios: That's right.

    Orlando: Well...

    Chev Chelios: What?

    Orlando: This shit ain't free nigga.

  • Chev Chelios: [hears Orlando's voice from Asian man in elevator] Orlando?

    Orlando: You a persistent motherfucker, Chev Chelios. I'll give you that. They pop you and you just keep getting up?

    Chev Chelios: I'm the Terminator.

  • Orlando: [to gangbangers in men's room] Now just - just be still. Ya'll act like them Somalian niggas.

  • Orlando: Hey, there's a white nigger with a gun up in here! Just be still motherfuckers!

  • Clamper: You're illegally parked.

    Orlando: Take it fucking off.

    Clamper: Once it's on, man, it doesn't come off, unless you pay the fine. Then, if we've time...

    Lar - clamper 2: ...which we may well not.

    Clamper: Correct. May be a delay even after you pay. A day, man, could be as much as two. Do you get it?

  • Ivan: Gettin' ripped instead of hustlin', man? Fuck me!

    Orlando: I'd call that a gross abuse of your time.

    Ivan: What little you have...

    Orlando: ...and gettin' less.

  • Orlando: You miss the aforesaid deadline, man, Darren says you've to pay a particular price. Two bones to be broke, your decision which.

    Ivan: And digits don't count, you understand?

    Orlando: Fingers, toes...

    Ivan: ...they don't count at all.

  • Ivan: Suggest you get ou and get lookin' then, Michael. Beg, borrow, steal...

    Orlando: ...only get it and bring it. You've four mor hours before Perrier's judgement comes down.

  • First Official: One, you are legally dead and therefore cannot hold any property whatsoever.

    Orlando: Ah. Fine.

    First Official: Two, you are now a female.

    Second Official: Which amounts to much the same thing.

  • [speaking in French]

    Princess Sasha: You speak French?

    Orlando: A bit. But most of the English can't... don't want to speak other languages.

    Princess Sasha: But how do they communicate with foreigners?

    Orlando: They speak English louder.

  • Orlando: If I were a man...

    Shelmerdine: You?

    Orlando: I might choose not to risk my life for an uncertain cause. I might think that freedom won by death is not worth having. In fact...

    Shelmerdine: You might choose not to be a real man at all. Say, if I were a woman...

    Orlando: You?

    Shelmerdine: I might choose not to sacrifice my life caring for my children, nor my children's children, nor to drown anonymously in the milk of female kindness, but instead, say, to go abroad. Would I then be...

    Orlando: A real woman?

  • Shelmerdine: You're hurt ma'am.

    Orlando: I'm dead, sir.

    Shelmerdine: Dead. That's serious. Can I help?

    Orlando: Will you marry me?

    Shelmerdine: Ma'am... I would gladly, but I fear my ankle is twisted.

  • Orlando: Same person. No difference at all... just a different sex.

  • Orlando: The treachery of women!

  • Orlando: I can find only three words to describe the female sex. None of which are worth expressing.

  • Queen Elizabeth I: [conferring the family estate upon Orlando] For you and for your heirs, Orlando: the house.

    Orlando: Your Majesty, I am forever...

    Queen Elizabeth I: But on one condition. Do not fade. Do not wither. Do not grow old.

  • Archduke Harry: I'm offering you my hand.

    Orlando: Oh! Archduke! That's very kind of you, yes. I cannot accept.

    Archduke Harry: But I... I am England. And you are mine.

    Orlando: I see. On what grounds?

    Archduke Harry: That I adore you.

  • Orlando: Nothing thicker than a knife's blade separates melancholy from happiness.

  • [Orlando starts to tend to the wounds of an enemy soldier]

    Archduke Harry: Leave him.

    Orlando: This is a dying man.

    Archduke Harry: He's not a man. He's the enemy.

  • Orlando: But you are mine!

    Princess Sasha: But why?

    Orlando: Because... I adore you.

  • Helen: [upon seeing Orlando staring at her] What?

    Orlando: I'm just sittin' here, tryin' to think of a way to say this to you.

    [pauses]

    Orlando: I'm in love with you.

    Helen: How do you know that?

    Orlando: I don't know how to explain it to you.

    Helen: Try.

    Orlando: Helen, if I'm away from you for more than an hour, I can't stop thinking about you. I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I've got it so bad for you I'd... I'd go to the grocery store and buy your feminine products, I swear I would.

    [Helen and Orlando laugh]

    Orlando: And see? And that... that... That smile. Helen, when you smile like that, my world... It's all right.

    [pauses]

    Orlando: I am in love with you.

  • Helen: Orlando, what's going...

    Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife.

  • Orlando: Why you being so mean, woman?

    Helen: Why you being so nice, man?

  • Max: You two would be interested in our conversation. Didn't you tell me about that ointment...

    Orlando: What ointment?

    Max: The one some Africans use... to last longer. What was it again?

    Orlando: Oh, that. It's nothing. Just some crocodile fat and pungent herbs that they smear on before they...

    Mili: Smear on what?

    Linda: Mili, don't play dumb.

    Orlando: It works for hours.

    Max: Hear that, Mili? It works for hours.

    Mili: I don't believe it.

    Corrado Zeller: It's true, it's true. You have no idea what men in other countries do. For example, in Jordan I saw men eat mutton fat and honey for breakfast.

    Max: What about the Chinese? They eat ground rhinoceros horn.

    Ugo: Dried shark fin is an energy booster too.

    Max: I confess that I've tried royal jelly and it works. Right, LInda?

    Giuliana: What's that?

    Ugo: Honey from the queen bee.

    Max: It's rejuvenating. Remember that in your old age, miss.

    Corrado Zeller: Assuming she still wants to make love then.

    Max: What do you say to that?

    Iole: I'd rather do certain things than talk about them.

  • Orlando: Pum pum? The mountain's mouth? But it's a volcano's mouth. We're sitting on a volcano's mouth. Now I understood the metaphor! A tragedy.

  • [after Daisy and Orlando have sex]

    Daisy: That was wonderful.

    Orlando: Yeah, it was.

    Daisy: I think I'll call you the Sultan of Love.

    Orlando: Uh, do you have to?

    Daisy: Yes.

  • David: You don't like Americans, do you?

    Orlando: No.

    David: Why?

    Irène Montano: Because her dad likes poetry, she hates poetry. Because her dad's American, she hates Americans.

    David: The fact that her dad's American can't be the only reason why she hates us all.

    Orlando: You want other reasons?

    David: Yeah.

    Orlando: Because you've got short legs. Because you like Schwarzenegger. Because you take care of your body as if it was a machine, and of your head as if it was a tomato. Because you think you have to save mankind. And surprise, what's supposed to be good for mankind, first, and foremost, is good for you. Enough? Or do you want more?

    Irène Montano: Wow. Congratulations. David and I bet you never say more than three words.

    David: You've left out a few other reasons. Um, you can hate us because we eat bland food. Because we're always afraid we're gonna be sick. Because we are against abortion, but for the death penalty. Because we never have sex. And because half of us... well almost half of us, voted for George doubla-vee Bush. But you see, for me, the fact that the French have a stuupid president never prevented me from loving them.

    [silence]

    David: Hmm, must be exhausting to feel so much hatred.

    Orlando: Depends.

    David: Does it?

    Orlando: Yeah. It's exhausting to hate when you want revenge, knowing you'll never get it.

    David: You have a gun - pow, pow. You know you'll get it.

    Orlando: I won't need a gun. You Americans, you're like dinosaurs. You're very strong, and you think you're meant to live and command forever. You never wondered why you're always making movies about dinosaurs? It's because you identify with them. In a few years, maybe twenty or thirty years, people will try to understand how such an empire, with an army so powerful, managed to disappear so insignificantly.

    David: Hmm. That's a lot more interesting...

  • David: It's rather strange, isn't it? The same person on one side of the Atlantic has a daughter that wants to kill him. Hates him. And the other side has a son that loves him. And thinks he's the best man in the world.

    Orlando: There are many differences between the two sides of the Atlantic.

    David: Don't start...

Browse more character quotes from Crank (2006)

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