Oolong Quotes in Dragon Ball Z: Doragon bôru Z - Kami to Kami (2013)

Birusu: Madam Bulma.

Bulma: Yes?

Birusu: I apologize for causing trouble.

Bulma: Besides that, apologize for hitting me!

[pause]

Birusu: I apologize.

Oolong: [to Bulma] Are you out of your mind?

Birusu: If it's all right, please invite me to another party.

Bulma: Only if you promise not to run wild.

Birusu: I understand. But next time, I want to try that dish pudding.

Bulma: I'll have tons served up. But don't say it tastes awful after eating it!

Birusu: If it tastes awful, I'll destroy the Earth!

Son Gokû: Then we'll fight again, Lord Beerus!

Bulma: [flirtatious] Hey, Lord Beerus...

Oolong: It won't work, not from a middle-aged woman!

Bulma: Shut up!

[last lines]

Son Gokû: [laughs] Oh, yeah, Vegeta, when Bulma got hit, you screamed "My Bulma!" and became a great Super Saiyan!

Bulma: I felt so loved!

Vegeta: [embarassed] I don't remember saying such a thing! But, back then, I definitely exceeded your power!

Son Gokû: Yeah, without a doubt! Next time, when we're fighting someone, I'll ask them to hit Bulma!

Bulma: HEY!

[slaps Goku]

Piccolo: When Vegeta did that, you shouldn't have been there... you'd already arrived, and watched from a distance!

Bulma: Goku?

Oolong: [jumps on Goku] You bastard, are you serious? Everyone was getting battered!

Son Gokû: I'm sorry, I was trying to find a strategy to match him... but there was nothing I could think of!

Vegeta: Bulma, slap him two, no THREE more times!

Bulma: Yes, sir!

Son Gokû: I'm sorry! I regret it!

[English dub]

Beerus: Look, I like your planet, or rather I've enjoyed myself enough to not despise it entirely. I'll give you one last chance to save yourselves. I nominate you!

[points at Oolong]

Beerus: Yes, I'm singling you out, Porky!

Oolong: Who, ME?

Beerus: [licks his lips] That's right, the one who looks so delicious...

Oolong: [freaked out] He wants my bacon...

Beerus: Come a little closer, won't you?

Oolong: I taste awful! I don't exercise, I eat nothing but junk!

Beerus: All you have to do is play a game of Paper Rock Scissors! If you win I'll leave your Earth intact, but of course if I win, I'll turn your Earth to dust!

Oolong: He's kidding, right?

Krillin: I guess it's a universal game!

Oolong: Don't make me, I suck at Paper Rock Scissors!

Puar: This is great! It's your big break, Oolong! You've never had a chance to be important before! But don't lose, because if we die it'll be all your fault!

Oolong: You're not helping, Puar!

Yamcha: [whispers to Oolong] Hey, wait a second... I figured it out! I know why he picked you as his opponent, Oolong, it makes sense! This guy thinks you're just an ordinary pig with ordinary pig hooves! And a pig hoof could only make Scissors, so he'd win every time with Rock! But you're not a pig, are you? You're a pig MAN! You've got fingers, you can throw all the signs! He's gonna draw Rock for sure, Oolong, I know it! All you have to do is draw Paper, and you'll win!

Oolong: [encouraged] Stupid cat alien, thinking he's got me pegged... I'll make him sorry!

Beerus: Are you ready, pig?

Oolong: You bet!

Beerus: On three...

Beerus, Oolong: One, two, three!

[Oolong draws Paper... and Beerus draws Scissors, which beats Paper]

Beerus: You fools, don't you see my ears? I heard your whole plan!

Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BULMA!

Oolong: 38 is crazy old!

Bulma: SHUT UP!

Master Roshi: Broccoli, just give it up! It's all over!

Oolong: Very tough. But his name's Broly.

Goku: I'm giving you this chance to leave quietly. I don't wanna settle this thing with violence, but you must understand, if you stay, you will leave me with no choice but to fight.

Oolong: [Facing in the opposite direction from an army of Cooler's robots] Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. Get the picture metalheads? Outta here or it's the scrap heap!

Yajirobe: Hey, that way, tough guy!

Oolong: Wha-? What're you crazy? You want 'em to hear me?

Oolong: I'm allergic to fear... you know. Please, let's go home.

Chi Chi: Gohan, I love you sweetie!

Gohan: [embarrassed] Mom, not so loud!

Bulma: You own this, Trunks! Get 'em, and then we can go on vacation!

Trunks: [to himself, embarrassed] Tactful as always, Mother.

Oolong: Krillin, don't get yourself killed!

Krillin: [to himself, annoyed] Oh, I'll survive. Then, it's bacon time.

Oolong: I seriously hope you didn't tell anyone where we were going. I don't want 'em crampin' ma style.

Gohan: I promise Oolong. I didn't tell anyone.

[after getting punched by Monkey Boy]

Oolong: It hurts, you know!... I've been king of this land for years, and nobody's ever hit me! Let me tell you, it feels like I got hit by a cow and two goats, plus three horses!... Run away! Or I'll come and eat you alive, you know! Go on, run!

Turtle Man: [cackles] My pretty little lady, do you want to have this Dragon Pearl?

[holds out his own Pearl]

Bulma: If you're willing to part with it, of course I'll take it!

Turtle Man: I'm gonna let you have it, but... uh... you have to do something for it!

Bulma: So what do you want?

Turtle Man: I've been living on this remote island for all my life, and I've never seen a girl as pretty as you! So I... so I... well... I want... I want to see you without any clothes on!

Oolong: How dare you, you dirty old man! How can you think of something as low as that?

Son Goku: Master, that's too much!

Turtle Man: Hey, kid, sex is human nature!

Oolong: Why should he see your body, huh? You deserve to reserve it for me!

Oolong: [chasing Jen-Jen] You're a pretty girl. I want you to be my wife!

Pansy: I don't want to marry you, you're too ugly! Anyway I'm too young to be married!

Oolong: Never mind! I'll keep you till you grow up! When you're grown up, then you can marry me!

Pansy: No! Get away from me!

Oolong: Either you'll marry me, or I'll eat you up!

[Monkey Boy and Piggy are shot at by a stranger]

Son Goku: Who are you?

Miss Snow White: This is my master Mr Westwood! And me, I'm Miss Snow White!

Oolong: [to Monkey Boy] He's the bandit of the West! His kung-fu's good, and this is his territory! He'll kill you, unless he takes all your money!

Yamcha: I'm glad you know. So leave your valuables! Then I'll spare your lives!

Oolong: Oh, no... You got money?

Son Goku: What's money?

Oolong: Oh God... Hey, your kung-fu's good. So you can beat him?

Son Goku: Of course I can!

Oolong: [to Westwood] We got money, but you can't have it, so there!

Yamcha: Then I'll send you to hell!

[starts shooting]

Pansy: [to Monkey Boy] He's a monster!

Oolong: Little boy, keep out of this! Don't you know that this girl is my bride-to-be?

Son Goku: Bride? Hey, what's a bride-to-be?

Bulma: You silly boy, don't you even know that?

Oolong: Sir, I'm very good at kissing asses, you know that? I can make you feel very special!

Son Goku: I don't like people kissing my ass.

Oolong: That's okay, I've got other skills! And one of them is: I know magic! I can change into other things, and if you're bored, I can change into ANYTHING!

Oolong: I just can't resist pretty girls like YOU! I just can't control myself!

[chases Jen Jen and Seetou]

Oolong: All right, I'm going now!

[changes into a bat and flies off]

Son Goku: You won't get away!

[chases him]

Bulma: Hey, I've got an idea...

Bulma: [to Piggy] You strip for him!

Oolong: HUH? ME strip for HIM? If I took off all my clothes, he wouldn't want to look even if I paid him!

Bulma: I mean that you change into me. Then he'll think he's looking at me, when he's actually looking at you!

Son Goku: That's great? Did you hear that?

Oolong: Huh? You want ME to bare all for that sex maniac?... Okay, but you gotta pay too!

Bulma: What do YOU want?

Oolong: Well, he'll see the top... I'll see the bottom!

Bulma: Listen, Piggy, when you change into me, you'll be able to see the whole body.

Oolong: Oh, yeah! How come I'm so stupid? I'll change right now!

Oolong: [about the Turtle Man] He's a real master of magic, and his kung-fu's the best there is! But... he's a sex maniac. He's many times worse than me!

Son Goku: Why didn't you tell us you had a Pearl?

Oolong: My teacher told me not to tell anyone!

Turtle Man: Where is your teacher?

Oolong: Oh, he's very famous! Everybody knows him, including every dog, and even every cat, because...

Turtle Man: [knocks his head] Just say it!

Oolong: The Pig Fairy! My teacher said if I showed the Pearl, people would steal it! He said I must find you guys! That's why I used Jade to meet up with you! I think, now the time is right, so I showed the Pearl to you!

Son Goku: Oh, now you've changed into a fatty!

Oolong: This is my original form! I'm the 91st descendant of the Pig Fairy, sir! They call me the Pig-Headed Wizard!

Son Goku: The Pig Fairy? Well, I'm the 91st descendant of the Monkey King!

Oolong: Oh, so that explains the pole... your ancestor and my ancestor were brothers, so that makes US brothers!

[a shadowy form flaps around]

Son Goku: What's that?

Oolong: [looks around] What am I doing HERE? Brother, let's go! Hurry!

Turtle Man: But then, why'd Westwood tell me one of you wanted to fight me?

Son Goku, Bulma, Oolong, Pansy: WESTWOOD?

Oolong: [seeing Turtle Man dance] He must have magic in those shorts!

[Piggy disguises himself as Seetou]

Oolong: Darling...

Turtle Man: So, have you made a decision yet?

Oolong: [seductively] Oh, yes I have...

Turtle Man: Oh...?

Oolong: Come here!

[Roshi lets out a whoop and starts to dance with Seetou]

[a turtle shell is seen floating on the water]

Pansy: Master!

Bulma: Master!

Oolong: Master, you're still alive!

Turtle Man: [wading out of the ocean, half-naked] Are you kidding? Nobody can get rid of ME that easily!... But still, my house is destroyed, and my Dragon Pearl stolen! These people will not get away with this!

Turtle Man: So, then, every one of us here all have a relationship with a Dragon Pearl, is that right?

[everyone agrees]

Son Goku: [to Piggy] Hey, you don't!

Oolong: Uh... you're right! I don't have a Dragon Pearl, I've no relationship with it...

Bulma: Wow! Check it out! The Dragon Balls should be right below us, guys!

Oolong: Oh, great, it's at the bottom of the ocean.

Yamcha: Too bad we didn't bring our swimsuits.

Oolong: Known fact: Pigs don't float, I'm off the hook.