Officer Smy Quotes in Super Troopers (2001)

[a man appears to be having sex with a bear in the woods]

Officer Smy: Bear... bearfucker, do you need assistance?

Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Smy?

Officer Smy: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!

Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos?

Thorny: They think I'm Mexican.

Rabbit: You're not Mexican?

Officer Smy: Ursula, what the fuck? There's no TP in the bathroom!

Ursula: What about the piece stuck to your shoe?

Officer Smy: What ABOUT the piece stuck to my shoe?

[Looks down]

Officer Smy: SHIT!

Ursula: [Stifles a laugh]

Officer Smy: You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort.

Ursula: Oh why... did you want me to wipe your ass?

Officer Smy: [Flustered] That's not what I meant!

[With a pompous gesture]

Officer Smy: Well around MY house, my wife knows to refill the TP.

Ursula: I'm not your wife, Smy.

Officer Smy: No, and if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two.

Ursula: Oooooooh.

Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.

[to Foster]

Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.

Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.

Ursula: Nice try.