Officer Olson Quotes in Fargo (1996)

Mr. Mohra: So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."

Officer Olson: Uh-huh.

Mr. Mohra: So he angrily says, "Oh I get it, so you think I'm some kinda crazy jerk for askin'!" only he doesn't use the word "jerk."

Officer Olson: I understand.

Mr. Mohra: And then he calls me a jerk, and says that the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."

Officer Olson: [chuckles] Ya got that right.

Mr. Mohra: And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he just pays his tab and walks out saying, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake!"

Officer Olson: White Bear Lake?

Mr. Mohra: Well... Ecklund & Swedlin's, that's closer ta Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.

Officer Olson: Oh sure.

Mr. Mohra: So, ya know, he's drinkin', so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but Mrs. Mohra heard about the homicides down here last week and she thought I should call it in. So... I called it in. End o' story.

Officer Olson: What'd this guy look like, anyway?

Mr. Mohra: Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'.

Officer Olson: Uh-huh. In what way?

Mr. Mohra: Oh, just in a general kinda way.

Officer Olson: Hiya, Norm. How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricasse?

Marge Gunderson: Pretty darn good, ya want some?

Officer Olson: No, I gotta - hey, Norm, I thought you were goin' fishin' up at Mille Lacs?

Norm Gunderson: Yah, after lunch.