Officer Lack Quotes in Action Jackson (1988)

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Officer Lack Quotes:

  • Officer Kornblau: So what's your name?

    Albert: A-Albert. A-Albert Smith.

    Officer Lack: Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they?

    Albert: Hey man, what's gon' happen to me?

    Officer Kornblau: Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson.

    Albert: Wh-who's Axon...?

    Officer Lack: *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*.

    Officer Kornblau: Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit.

    Officer Lack: Mm-hmm.

    Officer Kornblau: Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring.

    Officer Lack: They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert.

    Officer Kornblau: Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out.

    Officer Lack: They called it a medical miracle.

    Officer Kornblau: Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.

  • Officer Kornblau: It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night.

    Officer Lack: Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Wax.

  • Officer Lack: Have you ever had your head forcibly rammed up your ass?

    Officer Kornblau: uh, no

    Officer Lack: Well mark your calendar...that day's coming!

Browse more character quotes from Action Jackson (1988)

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