Officer Quotes in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

[after Jack steals the Interceptor]

Officer: That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.

Norrington: So it would seem.

Officer: Which ship do we follow?

Lord Cutler Beckett: Signal the Dutchman to track down Sao Feng. We follow the Pearl. How soon can we have the ship ready to pursue?

Officer: [Officer looks back towards a cracking sound, and watches as the large mast falls down. He looks toward the Black Pearl admiringly] Do you think he plans it all out, or just makes it up as he goes along?

Officer: [before the final battle] We have a favorable wind, sir.

Lord Cutler Beckett: [drinking tea] Oh, so we do. Signal Jones to give no quarter. That should brighten his day.

Officer: [after getting out of the maelstrom Captain Jack Sparrow orders the crew to wait] What is he waiting for?

Lord Cutler Beckett: He actually expects us to honor our agreement. Nothing personal, Jack... it's just good business.

[first lines]

Officer: In order to affect a timely halt to deterioriating conditions, and to ensure the common good, a state of emergency is declared for these territories by decree of Lord Cutler Beckett, duly appointed representative of His Majesty, the King. By decree, according to martial law, the following statutes are temporarily amended: Right to assembly, suspended. Right to habeas corpus, suspended. Right to legal counsel, suspended. Right to verdict by a jury of peers, suspended. By decree, all persons found guilty of piracy, or aiding a person convicted of piracy, or associating with a person convicted of piracy, shall be sentenced to hang by the neck until dead.

Officer: [in the midst of the MIG battle] Both Catapults are broken, sir.

Stinger: How long will it take?

Officer: It'll take ten minutes.

Stinger: Bullshit ten minutes! This thing will be over in two minutes! Get on it!

Admiral Benson: [while standing on top of the aircraft carrier, his cap blew off and landed in the ocean] Holy Cow! My cap blew off! Swing her round. We'll pick it up.

Officer: But, sir, we're on the mission.

Admiral Benson: Good thinking. We'll pick it up on the way back. We gotta mark the spot, though. Put Robinowitz in a life raft. Have him row in circles until we return.

Officer: It could be days.

Admiral Benson: Then put some food in the life raft, for god's sake, man. Do I have to think of everything? We'll tape his favorite shows, he won't miss anything.

Lee Samson: Twentieth century games are really nice. Games nowadays are getting boring. I'm more into old school games like this one. Back then, games like these were enough for everyone. It's the same with hackers. It was better when there were few. Then, even the smallest thing left you in the history books. Now, protection is tighter everywhere. Unless you do something really big, no one will know you. That's why I am grateful towards you, seriously. I always wanted to... try being a terrorist.

[a policeman stops the car. Lee loses the game]

Lee Samson: Aww man... I'm dead.

Officer: Let me see your license. Where are you heading? From here on there are only warehouses.

[Vincent pulls out a gun and shoots the officer in the head at point blank range. They drive off]

Lee Samson: Aww man... He's dead.

Lt. Colonel Nascimento: You know what this operation should be called?

Officer: No, sir.

Lt. Colonel Nascimento: Operation Iraq.

Allan Pinkerton: If he lays a finger on one of your guns, you are all - and I mean *all* - dead men.

Officer: He's chained up!

Allan Pinkerton: I'll put that on your tombstone.

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: [bursts into Captain Rostron's cabin] Sir! SIR!

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [waking up with a start] What the devil's going...?

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [rolls over and sees Cottam]

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [annoyed] Haven't you learned to *knock* before coming in here?

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: It's a distress call, sir! From the Titanic. She's *sinking*!

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [gives Rostron the paper with the distress message]

Officer: [comes into cabin to apologize for the intrusion] I'm sorry sir, I...

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [reads message and gives Cottam a long look] Mister Dean, turn the ship 'round. Head northwest. I'll work a course out for you in a minute.

Officer: Aye, aye sir.

Officer: [rushes away to carry out the orders]

Capt. Arthur Rostron: [gets out of bed] Now, Cottam, you're sure this is the *Titanic*?

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: Yes sir.

Capt. Arthur Rostron: You're certain?

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: Absolutely.

Capt. Arthur Rostron: All right. Check back. Find out *everything* you can. Tell them we're coming as *fast* as *possible*!

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: Yes sir!

Wireless Operator Harold Thomas Cottam: [rushes back to his wireless equipment as Rostron goes to get dressed]

Officer: [upon discovering the bullets in Ricky's chest in an X-ray] Why didn't you let the doctors take the five bullets out of you?

Rikki O/Eric: Souvenirs.

General Karel: Has he said anything?

Officer: Not one word. He just keeps calling me chicken.

General Karel: Chicken?

Officer: Yes, chicken. He's not telling us anything.

General Karel: Dirty pig! He thinks he's a tough guy, huh?

General Karel: Turn it up!

Officer: If we keep it up, he may die.

General Karel: We can't go on like this. Turn it up!

Officer: Yes, sir!

General Karel: Talk, you brute! Answer my questions!

Officer: It's like a Friday the 13th Nightmare.

[Lawrence has just extinguished a match between his thumb and forefinger. William Potter surreptitiously attempts the same]

William Potter: Ooh! It damn well 'urts!

T.E. Lawrence: Certainly it hurts.

Officer: What's the trick then?

T.E. Lawrence: The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.

Molly: Now I know who stole my locket! It was that girl!

Gaston: No, no, I don't think it was her.

Officer: Perhaps the locket is back with its rightful owner.

Molly: What does he mean by that?

Gaston: Nothing, nothing at all!

[Molly slaps Gaston]

Officer: [In the bunker during a bombardment] Berlin is now nothing but warehouses: Here were some houses, and there were some houses.

[laughter]

Steven Russell: Phillip...

Phillip Morris: Don't.

Steven Russell: I love you.

Phillip Morris: From the moment we met, you've done nothin' but lie. Our whole relationship, just lies. I'm such an asshole. You took advantage of me, just like all the others. You were supposed to protect me, but you just did nothing but make a fool out of me. And you expect me to love you? How can I? How can I love you? I don't even know who you are. And you know what's sad? I don't even think you know who you are, so how am I supposed to love someone that don't even exist? You tell me.

Officer: Morris, you're up.

Phillip Morris: I'll never forgive you Steven. Never!

Roxie: Fresh towels, for the can.

Officer: Make it quick.

Officer: Your daughter, Park Hyun-seo, a seventh grader at Dangsan Middle School. She's on the deceased list.

Park Gang-Du: Yeah, she goes to Dangsan School... she's deceased... but she's not dead.

[the officer laughs]

Park Gang-Du: I mean, she died, but she's still alive.

Officer: Now you're talking in circles.

Officer: [moving in towards the dividing screen of plastic to insist to Gang-du] Your daughter never called you in the first place, okay?

[to Hie-bong]

Officer: Your son had a dream, but it was so real that...

[Nam-joo interrupts him by placing the flat of her hand to his chest]

Park Nam-Joo: You don't believe anything we said?

Officer: Now you're obstructing an officer in the line of duty.

Park Hie-bong: [Gently pushing his daughter away] Step back, Nam-joo.

Park Gang-Du: Officer, should I explain it again? The way it happened was...

Officer: I know, I know, I know. You yourself saw your daughter die. But she called you in the middle of the night? Does that make any sense? That's completely ridiculous.

Park Nam-il: A servant of the people, talking back like that?

Officer: Then what's your problem?

Park Nam-il: You fucking...

Park Gang-Du: Stop! This is...

[He holds up a cell phone]

Park Gang-Du: This is my daughter, Park Hyun-seo. My daughter. I'm the creature.

[He puts the phone into his mouth]

Park Gang-Du: I ate her. Okay? And then...

[He spits the phone out into a small plastic bin]

Park Gang-Du: [Choking back sobs] It happened like this. This is a sewer. You don't understand?

[a bunch of cops and fireman run into Mooby's and see the "interspecies erotica"]

Fireman: What the fuck?

[the donkey brays as the Police Officer sees Randal's "Porch Monkey 4 Life" shirt]

Officer: [shouting] PORCH MONKEY?

Randal Graves: Oh, no no, it's cool, I'm taking it back.

Officer: Maybe you shouldn't mess with that.

Officer Hummel: Relax, Sparky, I was with the bomb squad for 10 years.

[does various things to find out if it's really a bomb while Howard and Myron run out of the studio]

Officer Hummel: Gentlemen, we've been duped. This is nothing but a harmless Christmas package.

[he rips open the package]

Myron Larabee: [the bomb goes off, Howard hesitates with a look of shock, and even Myron looks shocked] That really was a bomb? This is a sick world we live in! Sick people!

Officer: How many years on the bomb squad?

[Officer Hummel collapses on the floor, charred]

Rufus T. Firefly: Where's my Stradivarius?

Officer: Here, sir.

Rufus T. Firefly: I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old Firefly!

[he pulls a tommygun out of his violin case and opens fire]

Rufus T. Firefly: Look at 'em run! Now they know they've been in a war!

Bob Roland: Your Excellency!

Rufus T. Firefly: Hahahahahaha, they're fleeing like rats!

Bob Roland: But sir, I've got to tell you...

Rufus T. Firefly: Remind me to give myself the Firefly Medal for this!

[he fires again]

Bob Roland: Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men!

[Firefly fires again]

Rufus T. Firefly: What?

Bob Roland: You're shooting your own men!

Rufus T. Firefly: Here's $5, keep it under your hat.

[holds out his hat to take the $5 back]

Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind, I'll keep it under my hat.

Billy: Look, I don't think I'm Elvis, alright? I don't carry on conversations with my dog, I don't put on a dress and dance around Times Square.

Officer: Impressive credentials.

Billy: I just want you guys to believe me. They're two cops and they can come back at any tie.

Officer #2: Oh, a conspiracy. Is this the one with the ghost of Lee Harvey Oswald?

[Laughs]

Billy: Actually, I lied. Once I did put on a dress and dance around Times Square, but I was with Elvis. My dog told me to do it so you can't really blame me, can you?

Officer: This whole experience must really be trying.

Jon: Yes, I feel horrible.

Officer: I meant for them.

Jon: Oh yeah, them too.

Officer: I gotta take you in.

Valo: Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in.

Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint...

Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here.

Officer: Hellboy?

Ryan Dunn: Picture a guy named Hellboy... and that's what he looks like.

Bud Alexander: [a motorcycle cop comes up on the car Tommy's driving] I hope he has his license.

Lou Francis: I hope he's in the car!

Officer: [at the back window] Pull over to the side!

Lou Francis: [points to the front seat] Tell him, he's driving!

Officer: [moves up, looks at the empty driver seat] I said pull over to the...

[stops in a daze, cut to him on the psychiatrist couch looking at the doctor's watch]

Dr. James C. Turner, Police Psychiatrist: Now tell us again what you saw.

Officer: I told you three times already.

Det. Roberts: Well tell it to him again.

Officer: I saw a car with nobody driving somebody.

Officer: How did you capture thirteen?

Recruit: I surrounded them.

[Dick Stensland arrives with liquor for a party]

Officer: What took you, Stensland?

Dick Stensland: My partner stopped to help a damsel in distress. He's got his priorities all screwed up.

Officer: Do you have anything to say?

Alfred Borden: Abracadabra.

Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: [narrating; on World War I] By the second winter, the boots had worn out... but the line still held. Even Comrade Lenin underestimated both the anguish of that 900-mile long front... as well our own cursed capacity for suffering. Half the men went into action without any arms... irregular rations... led by officers they didn't trust.

Officer: [to soldiers] Come on, you bastards!

Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: And those they did trust...

Pasha: [leaps out of the trench and begins leading his men in a charge] Come on, Comrades! Forward, comrades! Earth-shakers!

[an artillery shell explodes in front of him; he falls to the ground, and the soldiers retreat to their trench]

Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: Finally, when they could stand it no longer, they began doing what every army dreams of doing...

[the soldiers begin to leave their trenches]

Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: They began to go home. That was the beginning of the Revolution.

Officer: What kind of car to do drive, Mr. Flannigan?

Jerry Lee: It's a Chevy Caprice.

Officer: Where is your car?

Jerry Lee: It's been stolen.

Officer: Why didn't you report it?

Jerry Lee: It's a real piece of shit.

Officer: [dancing] You're so beautiful, Rosemary.

Rosemary Leighton-Jones: So are you.

Officer: You can't say that, can you? Men aren't... I am not beautiful.

Rosemary Leighton-Jones: Yes, you are.

Officer: He's a tranvestite!

Dr. Fred Richmond: Ah, not exactly. A man who dresses in women's clothing in order to achieve a sexual change, or satisfaction, is a transvestite. But in Norman's case, he was simply doing everything possible to keep alive the illusion of his mother being alive. And when reality came too close, when danger or desire threatened that illusion - he dressed up, even to a cheap wig he bought. He'd walk about the house, sit in her chair, speak in her voice. He tried to be his mother! And, uh... now he is.

[pause]

Dr. Fred Richmond: Now, that's what I meant when I said I got the story from the mother. You see, when the mind houses two personalities, there's always a conflict, a battle. In Norman's case, the battle is over... and the dominant personality has won.

Sheriff Al Chambers: And the forty thousand dollars? Who got that?

Dr. Fred Richmond: The swamp. These were crimes of passion, not profit.

Officer: [enters room with blanket on arm] He feels a chill. Can I bring him this blanket?

Dr. Fred Richmond: [lighting cigarette] Oh, sure.

Police Chief James Mitchell: All right.

[from trailer]

Officer Shawn: [on the phone, about Donna] Where is she?

Officer: She's at her senior prom.

Officer Shawn: [about Richard Fenton] He escaped from jail!

[from trailer]

Officer: Gimme the fucking tape!

Toni Borden: Help! Help! We've got two men in the trailer!

Officer: Well, what do you want me for?

[repeated line]

Officer: You'll get busted for this, Quincannon.

Officer: As soon as I've read my mail I'll have your chevrons removed.

[Walks away]

Bull: I'd like to see the little cootie try to break me!

Officer: So you do think it was him?

Detective Roland: Him... or somebody else.

Tuco: I never hurt anybody!

Officer: ...wanted in 14 counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and, contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards...