Offended Customer Quotes in Clerks (1994)

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Offended Customer Quotes:

  • Dante Hicks: You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.

    Randal Graves: [reading a magazine] You know how much money the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?

    Dante Hicks: What's a jizz-mopper?

    Randal Graves: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booths after each guy jerks off.

    Dante Hicks: Nudie booth?

    Randal Graves: Yeah, nudie booth. You've never been in a nudie booth?

    Dante Hicks: Guess not.

    Randal Graves: Oh man, it's great. You go into this booth and there's this glass between you and these chicks, and they put on a show for you for like 10 bucks.

    Dante Hicks: What kind of a show?

    [Customer walks up to counter with a bottle of glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels]

    Randal Graves: Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do. I mean, these chicks do it all. They insert things into any opening on their body - *any* opening.

    Dante Hicks: Can we not talk about this now?

    Randal Graves: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean it up after each guy shoots a load, 'cause practically everybody does it right on the window. I don't know if you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.

    Offended Customer: I will never come to this place again!

    Dante Hicks: Excuse me?

    Offended Customer: Using filthy language in front of the customers, you both should be fired!

    Dante Hicks: Oh, I-I'm sorry, I-I guess we kinda got carried away.

    Offended Customer: Well, I-I don't know if sorry can make up for it. You've highly offended me.

    Randal Graves: Well, if you thinks that's offensive, check this out!

    [Shows him graphic picture from porn mag]

    Randal Graves: I think you can see her kidneys!

Browse more character quotes from Clerks (1994)

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