North Quotes in Rise of the Guardians (2012)

[from trailer]

Jack Frost: Am I on the Naughty List?

North: Naughty List, you hold record.

[while North is touring Jack around his home]

Jack Frost: Slow down would you, I've been trying to bust in here for years. I want a good look!

North: What do you mean 'bust in'?

Jack Frost: Don't worry, I never got past the yetis.

[turns and sees a yeti glaring at him]

Jack Frost: Oh, hey Phil.

[Phil growls menacingly and slaps a fist into his palm]

North: Merry Christmas!

Bunnymund: Happy Easter!

Tooth: And don't forget to floss!

North: We are very busy bringing joy to children, we don't have time...

[Sophie chases butterfly while giggling]

North: ... for children.

Tooth: [as a new Guardian is being chosen by the Man in the Moon]

Tooth: I wonder who it's gonna be!

Sandy: [Sandy depicts a four-leaf clover over his head suggesting the Leprechaun]

Tooth: Maybe the Leprechaun?

Bunnymund: Please not the Ground Hog, please not the Ground Hog...

North: [the Guardian's image comes into focus] Jack Frost?

Bunnymund: I take it back, the Ground Hog's fine!

[zooming down the launch tube and turning upside down]

North: [glances over his shoulder with a laugh] I hope you like the loop-the-loop!

Bunnymund: [frowns, queasy] I hope you like carrots.

North: [Jack has just arrived at the North Pole] I hope the Yetis treated you well.

Jack Frost: [sarcastically] Yeah, I love being shoved in a sack and tossed through a magic portal!

North: Oh, good. That was my idea!

North: Leaving the party so soon?

Tooth: You didn't even say goodbye.

[Tooth flips a coin to Pitch. Pitch catches it]

Pitch: A quarter?

[Tooth hits Pitch in the mouth, knocking out one of his teeth]

Tooth: That was for my fairies.

North: But at my center...

Jack Frost: ...there's a tiny wooden baby.

Pitch: YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME! Not forever. There will ALWAYS be fear.

North: So what? As long as ONE child believes, we will be here to fight fear.

Pitch: Oh, really? Then what are THEY doing here?

[nightmares surround guardians and Pitch]

North: Ha ha, they can't be MY nightmares. I'm not afraid.

Jack Frost: Looks like it's YOUR fear they smell.

Bunnymund: Crikey! Somebody do something.

Jack Frost: Oh, don't look at me. I'm invisible, remember?

Tooth: Don't worry, Bunny. I bet she's a fairy fan. It's okay, little one.

Sophie Bennett: Pretty.

Tooth: Oh! You know, what? I've got something for you! Here it is! Look at all the pretty teeth, with little blood and gum on them!

Sophie Bennett: [wailing]

Jack Frost: Blood and gums? When was the last time you guys actually hung out with kids?

North: We are very busy bringing joy to children. We don't have time... for children.

Bunnymund: [to Jack's collection of teeth] You call that a bag of choppers?

[holds up a larger sack]

Bunnymund: Now that's a bag of choppers!

North: Gentlemen, gentlemen. This is about Tooth, it's not the competition, but if it was...

[Pulls out a huge sack of teeth]

North: I win! YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!

North: [Jamie awakened shines a flashlight on North] Oh no!

Jamie Bennett: Santa Clause? The Easter Bunny? Sandman? The Tooth Fairy! I knew you'd come!

Tooth: Surprise! We came!

[laughs]

Jack Frost: He can see us?

Bunnymund: Most of us.

[Jack is unseen by Jamie]

[from trailer]

North: We go by many names, and take many forms. We bring wonder and hope, we bring joy and dreams. We are the Sandman and the Tooth Fairy, we are the Easter Bunny, and Santa. And our powers are greater than you ever imagine...

[from trailer]

North: Everyone, to the sleigh! Buckle up!

Bunnymund: Where are the bloody seat belts?

North: [laughs] That was just expression!

Jack Frost: I told you I'm not going with you guys. There is no way I'm climbing into some rickety, old... sleigh...

Jack Frost: [sees North's impressive sleigh] Okay. One ride, but that's it.

North: Everyone loves the sleigh.

North: Who are you, Jack Frost? What is your center?

Jack Frost: My center?

North: If Man in Moon chose you to be a Guardian, you must have something very special inside.

[from trailer]

North: Sandy? Sandy?

[slaps the dozing Sandman awake]

[as he falls down a rabbit hole]

North: Shostakovich!

[from trailer]

North: It is our job to protect the children of the world. For as long as they believe in us, we will guard them with our lives...

North: [cracks knuckles] Now we are getting down to tacks of brass.

[from trailer]

North: We have never faced a greater threat. And so, we will fight.

[from trailer]

North: Everyone loves the sleigh...

North: [Caleb looks out the window to see three of the Guardians riding a sleigh on the street where his house is, sliding down a patch of ice] Merry Christmas!

Bunnymund: Happy Easter!

Tooth: Don't forget to floss!

Caleb: [Caleb sees Cupcake sitting on a smaller toy sled in her pink nightgown, giggling and cheering] Cupcake!... What the...?

North: Where the hell are my parents?

Winchell: North, did you say the word 'hell'? My, the summer's really broadened you.

North: Winchell, I've got exactly 10 minutes to find my parents and if you don't tell me where they are, I'll show you how the summer's broadened me you little asshole!

North: How does that get me into a good college?

Governor Ho: Well since we don't use the letters B, C, D and F, you're pretty much guaranteed to get straight A's.

North: Hey, hey, this looks great! I have always dreamt of a life without the ever present nuisance of electricity! Uh, uh, just let me grab something from the plane! I seem to have left my butter churn in the overhead compartment, hehe!

[to the pilot]

North: Floor it!

North: Do I need a lawyer?

Winchell: North, this is America. Everybody needs a lawyer.

Pa Tex: Well I reckon we'll wake up early and eat, then we'll dig for oil and eat, then we'll rope some doggies, bust a few broncs and maybe get a bite to eat. You like Tex Mex?

North: Sure, I'm a big fan of any food that straddles two borders.

Pa Tex: That's my boy.

North: What are you doing here?

Gabby: Well I finished all my chores, I thought I'd get a little shootin' in.

North: No I mean, have you ever been an Easter Bunny?

Gabby: Easter Bunny?

Pa Tex: Careful, Son, Gabby's killed men for less than that.

North: Oh, sorry.

Gabby: No harm done.

North: How can Labor Day be next week? I just got here.

Sleigh Driver: You walked from your house to the ice flows right? It's a ten week walk, even with the wind at your back.

North: No wonder we stopped for lunch 49 times.

Sleigh Driver: It's that six months of daylight thing. It throws everybody off. I myself only showered 12 times during the '70s.

Pa Tex: Remember before when I told you that everything I own is the biggest and the best? Well you're already the best. Now there's nothing left but to make you the biggest.

Ma Tex: And don't fret about not being able to clean up your plate. Why soon your stomach will stretch and stretch and your capacity for food will grow and grow.

North: You say that like that's a good thing to have happen to your stomach.

Pa Tex: It is.

North: Why?

Ma Tex: Then you'll be like Buck.

North: Who?

Pa Tex: Our first son. The biggest boy this big state's ever seen. Why he could eat more in one day than anyone else could eat in a whole month.

Ma Tex: That's why Buck hated February.

Joey Fingers: Remember, kid, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of Miami.

North: What metaphor is that?

Joey Fingers: What metaphor? You ever been down there in August? Your balls stick to your leg like crazy glue.

North: Winchell, you put out a three-page leaflet with a circulation of 90.

Winchell: Might even land me a Pulitzer.

North: Adam, what are you doing here?

Adam: Listen very carefully. I'm not here. You never saw me. We're not even having this conversation right now. Got that?

North: Got what?

Adam: Perfect.

North: What are you? Some kind of guardian angel?

Narrator: Well I guess you can say that because in a manner of speaking we at Federal Express feel that we are guardians. Guardians of your most important packages and priority communique.

North: Where is Buck?

Pa Tex: [solemn] He died in a stampede.

North: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Pa Tex: Needless to say, it was a mighty big loss.