Norman Phiffier Quotes in Who's Minding the Store? (1963)

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Norman Phiffier Quotes:

  • [repeated line]

    Norman Phiffier: I believe a man has gotta be king in his own ranch-type-style tract house.

  • Mr. Quimby: So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?

    Norman Phiffier: I'm ready to climb!

    Mr. Quimby: By starting at the very bottom?

    Norman Phiffier: Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I'll start.

  • Mr. Quimby: How do you suppose I got to be the general manager of this great store? How?

    Norman Phiffier: How? How?

    Mr. Quimby: I'll tell you! I'll tell you!

    Norman Phiffier: Go ahead! Go ahead!

    Mr. Quimby: I will! I will!

  • [at the golf practice machine]

    Norman Phiffier: Here's your driver, Mr. President.

    Mr. John P. Tuttle: Thank you, Jackie.

    Norman Phiffier: You... oh, that was good.

  • Norman Phiffier: Something you women would like? Ah, that is, um, could I show you something in shoes?

    Lady wrestler: My feet, I hope.

    Norman Phiffier: [Fake laughs] Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, that is good. Yes, the size and style?

    Lady wrestler: Black Spring-O-Lators, size three.

    Norman Phiffier: The...

    [pause]

    Norman Phiffier: size... three?

    Lady wrestler: Three!

    Norman Phiffier: SIZE three?

    Lady wrestler: Something the matter with your hearing aid?

    Norman Phiffier: Well, no, I could turn it up.

  • Norman Phiffier: What are you, crazy, lady?

  • Mr. Quimby: And you, too, will do good work, but first you must get the FEEL of this great store.

    Norman Phiffier: Oh, I'll have no trouble with that. I have very sensitive fingertips.

  • [Trying to slip a small, open-toe shoe onto a large foot, Norman searches for a leading toe]

    Norman Phiffier: If I could just grab one of these, maybe the others'll follow.

  • Lady wrestler: Are you making improper advances to me?

    Norman Phiffier: My back is to ya, lady. My back is to ya.

  • Mr. Quimby: By some chance, Mr. Phiffier, could you be stealing a TV set?

    Norman Phiffier: Me, stealing, Mr. Quimby? Oh, I'd never steal anything.

    Mr. Quimby: If I recollect correctly, Mr. Phiffier, you're supposed to be working in the mattress department today.

    Norman Phiffier: Oh, yeah, I AM working in the mattress department today.

    Mr. Quimby: Then what are you doing here?

    Norman Phiffier: Oh, well, I was just really trying to, uh, satisfy a charge customer, you see, sir. Uh, buh, a lady that wanted to see, on a mattress there, just, uh, just how good the TV set was, so I borrowed two ladders, and I put a surfboard on top of two ladders that I borrowed from the Hawaiian hooky hula department. I just wanted to satisfy a charge customer so I could be the greatest salesman just like you - you, who are my idol, Mr. Quimby. If I ever turn out to be as good as you, I shall really live and breathe the air of kings. Oh, if I could ever be like you, oh boy, there'd never be Death of a Salesman with me. I'd live on, if I ever... Mmm.

  • Norman Phiffier: I see you on the television all the time. You look the same in person.

  • Hazel, a Dowager: My carpets are three inches thick, and...

    Norman Phiffier: Three inches thick! Huh. You better not ever invite Mickey Rooney over. You'll never be able to find him.

  • Norman Phiffier: Well, your secretary isn't here so I thought I'd barge right in?

Browse more character quotes from Who's Minding the Store? (1963)

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